|WARPED74 THIRDTACULAR - 3/17/13 - New York, NY - Hammerstein Ballroom
WARPED Wrestling turns three years old! We head back to New York City for the first time in a year for this epic event including three major title matches and quite a few surprises planned. This is WARPED Wrestling's second iPPV ever! Watch the event live on uStream through WARPEDWrestling.com live on Sunday night!
Main Event: world Championship
Evolution Championship: Three Way Elimination
Tag Team Championship
The First Ever Yourself Match
Tag Team Match:
|WARPED74 THIRDTACULAR - 3/17/13 - New York, NY - Hammerstein Ballroom|
A video sequence showing multiple WARPED Wrestling talent takes place.. showcasing the likes of World Champion William Wallace, Alexander StarrZoe, Crowbar, Carnival Connection, PKA, Kandi Washington, Leon Stone as Evolution Champion, and Hugo Strange.. plus many more stars. The red WARPED "W" logo floats into place and the scene transitions to Tony D and Kris Red at ringside as the fans cheer in the background.
Tony D: "WARPED Wrestling fans, we are LIVE on i-Pay Per View once again on uStream and at WARPEDWrestling.com for our THIRD ANNIVERSARY SHOW!"
Kris Red: "Third-TACULAR, Tony D!"
Tony D: "Or Thirdaversary, who knows what we're calling this! But it's WARPED74 and we are coming to you live in a sold out Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City where fans are ready to witness a night of amazing pro wrestling! I am Tony D alongside Kris Red and tonight, the stakes are high."
Kris Red: "Yeah no doubt Tony D. Tonight the World Title is on the line in our main event and the last time we were on i-Pay Per View, we saw the Year of Wallace come to frution! Well, this is the exact one year anniversary of when the Year Of Wallace ALL BEGAN at the Second Anniversary Show when he led Team PKA on to victory. Will he be successful tonight or will Starr take the gold?
Tony D: "I think that question is on everyone's mind, Kris, especially since this will be the third one on one match that the two have had, and by the way - Wallace has won both of the previous! We've got the Evolution Title on the line, the Tag Team Titles on the line, the first ever YOURSELF match as SHEEP SHEEP battles...well.. SHEEP SHEEP.. and so much more!
The camera pans around the venue, showing fans holding up their signs and cheering!
Tony D: "Let's take it now to Randy Long in the ring as we're ready to kick things off!"
Randy Long is standing in the ring with a mic.
Randy Long: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to...
The lights in the arena dim and his mic gets cut off. WARPEDVision kicks in and shows the AbominationZ standing backstage, the crowd heavily boo’s the stable, as is commonplace, before the four members, Crowbar, CarnEvil Connection and Alexander Starrzoë, who are talking amongst themselves turn and face the camera with a smile.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Dearly beloved..”
Crowbar: “We are gathered here today..”
Douglas Fresh: “To honor the memory of WARPED Wrestling.”
Starr: “The company founded...fuck I can’t do this shit!”
Starr turns and leans against a wall, lighting up a smoke. Obviously focused on his match with William Wallace.
Crowbar: “A company founded, one nation, under Joey and PKA...”
Mr. Rottentreats: “And literally a pain in my shoulder!”
Crowbar: “Where great men have come...”
Crowbar motions to the men around him, obviously making reference to The AbominationZ.
Douglas Fresh: “Only to be fucked over!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Time after time, after time.”
Crowbar: “When we weren't even taken to dinner first!”
Douglas Fresh: “The fucking’s over!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Time to smoke that post coital cigarette.”
Crowbar: “No longer will we be used as tools to extend someones power reign, being ejacu....wait, aren’t we missing someone?”
Crowbar looks around and starts counting
Crowbar: “1...2...3....4....yeah, we’re missing someone! Hey...hey come over here, introduce yourself, and tell everyone what you did!”
Douglas Fresh: “Come on now, don’t be shy!”
Out from behind the wall walks the beautiful seductress, Kandi Washington in a short white cocktail dress. She places her hand on her hip and tilts her head to the side as she flips her hair over the shoulder with her opposite hand. She looks over at the other members of the group and smirks. She twitches her nose and nods as they all have wicked grins on their faces when looking over at the self-proclaimed First Lady of WARPED Wrestling.
Kandi Washington: “Surprise, surprise... who would have EVER thought yours truly was the fifth addition to this dominating group that has plagued WARPED Wrestling and any other wrestling company? I have been secretly working alongside them as I was the mastermind in attacking William Wallace with the light tube, which helped put him in a hospital bed. Now that you know it was me, how does it feel to have gotten your ass kicked by the Queen of Professional Wrestling, William?”
She tilts her head back and places her hand on her chest as she begins laughing arrogantly.
Crowbar spreads his arms out and chuckles a bit at the whole thing.
Crowbar: “Wallace, you got your ass beat by Kandi Washington. Now that HAS to sting a bit, hell, I know it stung when Starr jabbed the shards into your gut, but still, the great ‘Man of the company, World Champion’ was belted by a FEMALE. Damn man, you got fucked. So, Kandi, do tell us, how did it feel to break that light tube over the World Champion?”
She turns her head to Crowbar and raises her eyebrow. She bats her eyelashes innocently and licks her lips.
Kandi Washington: “It felt absolutely spectacular to break the light tube over the soon to be FORMER World Champion. I have been disgusted upon my first match, seeing a man like him represent this company as our World Champion. Breaking the light tube over him was MY way of showing the world just how weak he really is. I wanted to EXPOSE every flaw and EXPLOIT his weaknesses to the tenth degree!”
Starr, still leaning against the wall smiles and nods, approving of the former World Champion comment. He leans in and whispers something to Crowbar before leaning back against the wall.
Crowbar: “Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, fans of WARPED, we’ll do Randy Longs job and...well....CarnEvil, this one's all yours homies”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Welcome to the third ye..”
Douglas Fresh: “No, no, no! Three MONTH Anniversary of the AbominationZ!”
Crowbar smirks and the group start laughing before walking off, heading towards the WARPED stage entrance. As the lights in the arena come back on it’s seen that the WARPED stage has been replaced by the AbominationZ stage once again. The crowd jeer loudly as Randy Long looks around confused before leaving the ring under orders from someone ringside.
Tony D: "Kris, I can't believe it. Kandi Washington is the newest member of AbominationZ! She was involved in that brutal assault of William Wallace!"
Kris Red: "We all found out earlier this week that Starr was the reason that Wallace ended up with a gash in his gut, and that the AbominationZ were involved with that and framing PKA with the credit cards, but now we know that the fifth element to AbominationZ is .. Kandi Washington!!"
Tony D: "You know what this means, right? Kandi has an Evolution Title match tonight. Carnival Connection are fighting for the Tag Team Titles. Starr is going for the World Title. If they all win... WARPED will literally be under control of AbominationZ. This isn't good."
Kris Red: "Make it stop..somebody!"
The house lights die down as the ominous pulse of Insane Clown Posse’s “High Rise” overtakes the PA.
"The floor 'round his body slowly started to crack
WARPED General Manager Crowbar, along with the Carnival Connection, step out onto the stage. The crowd let out a chorus of boo’s
“There once was a man of power who lived on top of his high rise”
The AbominationZ turn and begin to head down the ramp, the lighting begins pulsating in a blood red coloring. The three men walk down the ramp side by side, ignoring the crowd's boos.
Tony D: "Great.. now they're coming out here."
The three men make their way to the announce table and bully Tony D and Kris Red into moving.
Kris Red: "Uh, we should g-"
They push Tony and Kris out of the way and the two commentators leave the area with quickness. Mr. Rottentreats and Douglas Fresh have a seat at the announce table, while Crowbar takes a microphone and heads into the ring. The fans continue to jeer.
Crowbar: “The following contest is the first to pin the other guy. First, from the land of Nirvana and some other semi-decent music, Seattle, Washington; standing in at 6 feet, 1 inches, and weighing in at...blahblahblah.....JASON RICHARDS!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Isn’t he one of the five that were crushed by Stizzle Fish last week in Los Angeles?”
Douglas Fresh: “Yes he was!”
The lights go out as a loud howl is let out through the entire venue as the music begins to play through the sound system of the venue.
Mr. Rottentreats; “If that doesn’t strike fear into the heart of New York City I don’t know what will, brudda!”
Douglas Fresh: “I’m trembling right now!”
He appears slowly stepping through the curtain looking out of the crowd. He begins slowly walking towards the ring as he holds out his hand as the people slap it. He walks over grabbing a chair standing on it putting on foot on the guard rail making a slashing motion across is throat. He jumps down and then jumps on the apron stepping through the ropes he walks over stepping up to the second rope he lets out a howl jumping down he begins stretching in the corner staring at the entrance way waiting on his opponent.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Jason Richards is so intense, Dougie. Just look at him huffing and puffing away.”
Douglas Fresh “He needs to cool it with that before he blows down the Manhattan Center from the inside.”
Crowbar: “And introducing his opponent, from Sacramento, California, standing in at a midget height and sounding like a character from Mortal Kombat… KAMELEON!!”
Crowbar steps out of the ring and sits down ringside, throwing the mic beside him.
The sounds of "Californication" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers plays and the spotlight focuses on the entrance where we see Kameleon come out on the stage. He puts his arms up in the air and drops to one knee, arms still raised. He then stands up and fist pumps as he leaps into the air and the fans cheer. He jogs down the aisle, slapping fans' hands along the way. He slides into the ring and climbs the turnbuckle, raising his arms in the air.
Mr. Rottentreats: “What’s your take on this slithering reptile, Dougie?”
Douglas Fresh: “He should thank us for paving the way for masked wrestlers in WARPED!
Mr. Rottentreats: “Indeed he should, brudda. So should that Tigre Oro creep!
(ding, ding, ding)
Mr. Rottentreats: “Speaking of beasts the Strong Style Wolf is circling the the Killer Kameleon.
Douglas Fresh: “What is with all these animals coming to WARPED lately?!”
Kameleon and Richards quickly lock up with a front grapple hold. Kameleon is pushed down to one knee as Richards is pushed off to the ropes. Richards bounces off into a spinning wheel kick to the face. Kameleon flips backwards with a moonsault, but lands on his feet as Richards is quickly rolls up to his feet. Kameleon charges at Richards and Richards takes him down with a Japanese arm drag.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Remember when we used to do Japanese arm drags Dougie?”
Douglas Fresh: “Yeah, before these guys were even born!”
He locks in an armbar, but Kameleon flips out of it with a leg scissors hold. Richards and Kameleon are both to their feet and the fans roar at their performance thus far. Richards and Kameleon meet up with a front grapple as Richards sends Kameleon into the ropes. He bounces off the ropes and takes Richards down with a head scissors takedown.
Mr. Rottentreats: ‘Lot of scissoring going on here tonight in New York City!
Douglas Fresh: “As long as they’re not running with them everything will be fine.”
Richards slides up to his knees and shakes his head as Kameleon attempts a shining wizard, but Richards quickly rolls out of the way. Kameleon turns around and Richards hops up to his feet and delivers a palm thrust to Kameleon’s face.
Douglas Fresh: “POW!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Right in the kissa!”
Kameleon stumbles back and Richards whips him into the corner. He runs and Kameleon rolls out of the way. Richards turns around and ducks as Kameleon goes for a spinning heel kick.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Kameleon seems a bit out of it after that palm to the face, bruda.”
Douglas Fresh: “If he wasn’t loopy from the palm, he’s about t.. Oooo!
Richards clobbers him with a standing clothesline and positions himself on his chest as he begins to open up with rights and lefts. He breaks the hold before the referee disqualifies him as they make it up to their feet. Kameleon has the ropes with his back turned, but Richards grabs from behind with a sit-out reverse DDT. He covers, 1 – 2 – Kameleon kicks out.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Geez Kameleon just give up already!”
Douglas Fresh: “If I were Jason Richards I would slap on a good old fashioned sleeper hold right now, he’s done for!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “That wouldn’t be very Strong Style of you though.”
Douglas Fresh: “Strong Style my ass. A win is a win!”
Kameleon is up halfway up to his feet and he sweeps his leg under Richards, taking him down. He runs to the top rope, but as he hops on the top turnbuckle, so does Richards. Richards and Kameleon start to battle it out on top until Richards get the upper hand. He throws his arm around his neck and grabs his tights: SUPERPLEX!
Mr. Rottentreats: “SUPAAAAH-PLEEXX-AH!”
Douglas Fresh: “Have to hand it to Richards with that roll through. Absolutely a thing of beauty!”
Richards covers, 1 – 2 – Kameleon kicks out. Richards is first to his feet and he leans down to pick up Kameleon, but as he does—Kameleon rolls him up with a small package, 1 – 2 – Richards kick out and he grabs Kameleon’s ankles and flips him over with a bridging position, 1 – 2 – Kameleon kicks out again. Richards is to his feet and Kameleon delivers a chop block to his knees—he covers, 1 – 2 – Richards kicks out.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Both of them are just expending energy kicking out.”
Douglas Fresh: “Maybe they have the same strategy. Who the fuck knows. Let’s take this fucker home!”
Crowbar stands up and walks over to the commentary table, he leans in and talks to Treats and Fresh.
Crowbar: “Uh...if I fall asleep during this match, wake me up, I’m kinda bored.”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Sure thing ninja!”
Douglas Fresh: “If we don’t fall asleep first!”
As Kameleon stands up, Richards is there to grab him and lifts him up with an arm capturing fisherman buster. He hooks the leg, 1 – 2 – Kameleon gets a shoulder up. As Kameleon is still on the canvas, Richards locks in the Seattle Stretch.
Mr. Rottentreats: “He’s a high flyer take out his leg not his arm!”
Douglas Fresh: “Kids these days.”
Richards breaks the hold and Kameleon begins to aid his arm as he starts to stand up to his feet. He turns around and he walks right into a boot to the midsection. Richards lifts him upon to his shoulders, but Kameleon surprises him with a head scissors takedown. As Richards staggers up to his feet, Kameleon charges at him and hops on his shoulders, but instead of hitting the hurricanrana—Richards powerbombs him in the middle of the ring.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Hey Dougie, what did the Kameleon say to the canvas?”
Douglas Fresh: “I don’t know, Treats. What?”
Mr. Rottentreats: “SPLAT!”
He looks around the fans going insane in the Hammerstein Ballroom. He’s taunting Kameleon up to his feet as he holds his lower back. As he gets up to his feet, Richards grabs him and sends him back to the mat with the Emerald City Flash!
Mr. Rottentreats: “In the words of Kris Red.. IT’S OVA!”
Jason Richards grabs both legs and hooks them, 1 – 2 – 3! The referee helps Richards up to his feet and lifts his arm up in the air by the wrist.
Crowbar is shown sleeping in his chair. Mr. Rottentreats throws a water bottle at him to wake him up. He jumps up and looks around, seeing the match has finished. He quickly stands up and throws the mic to his mouth.
Crowbar: “Here is your winner by via an obvious fucking manner… JASON RICHARDS!!”
“Swear it to the Sun” hits through the p.a. system and the fans all stand to their feet with a standing ovation as they cheer these two wrestlers in a great opening match.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Obvious fashion? He wasn’t even awake for the finish!”
Douglas Fresh: “We weren’t either, Treats.”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Yeah, we can commentate in our sleep though!”
We're taken to a video of "Reactions" from The Brothers Stanton following their debut at WARPED73 just last week...
The Brothers Stanton
The scene fades back to the commentary table where once again Tony D and Kris Red are at their seats.
Tony D: "Well we're back. It'd appear that Crowbar and the Carnival Connection have left us to do our jobs! Fans,you just saw the newest tag team in WARPED - The Brothers Stanton - following their loss in the Six Man Mayhem last week. Tonight, they make their tag team debut as they face the unusual team of Cameron MacNichol and Anton Chase."
Kris Red: "CamTon!"
Tony D: "All..right?"
Kris Red: "Look, you take Cameron, and Anton, and you get CamTon. They should go with that.. That is, if this team even works."
Tony D: "Yeah, it's no secret that Cameron MacNichol and Anton Chase are far from pals, especially with their recent bouts over the Evolution Championship. Anton is coming off a loss and is focused on his future rematch, while Cameron seems to have somewhat embraced a team with Anton. We'll see how they do in our next match-up, starting now!
“High Rise” by Insane Clown Posse hits the p.a. system as the fans begin to boo when Kandi Washington, who’s arms are clasped around the biceps of Crowbar.
Kris Red: "Wait, what the hell!" P> They walk out from the entrance ramp and briefly pause at the top of the ramp. He looks over to her and places his hand on her cheek and the two share a momentarily kiss on the lips. A dapper looking Mr. Rottentreats rolls his eyes behind them and motions for them to get down the ramp already. The trio turn to the booing crowd and continue down the ramp as Crowbar pets Kandis hand as they jolt down the ramp. They make their way to the ringside area and begin around the ring to the commentary table. Mr Rottentreats walks around and grabs Randy Long's microphone before he can step into the ring.
Tony D: “What are they doing out here again?”
As Kandi Washington and Crowbar make their way to the commentary table, Kris stands up to greet them as he responds to Tony D.
Kris Red: “Have some respect! It’s our boss and the first lady of WARPED!”
Crowbar sits down as Kandi Washington sits on his lap, wrapping her arm around his upper back. They place the headsets on as Kris Red sits back down.
Kris Red: “It’s a pleasure to have you two out here again.”
Kandi Washington: “The pleasure is all yours.”
Tony D: “So why are you guys even out here?”
Crowbar: “Tony, your commentary sucks, we’re here to make the crap you say more interesting. Now shut it and listen to the introductions.”
Mr. Rottentreats adjusts his tuxedo collar and clears his throat before speaking in his best ring announcer voice..
Mr. Rottentreats: Excuse me if I’m a bit rusty. The next contest is a one fall to a finish, tag team extravagaaanzaa!.
With the start of the music, the lighting flashes at almost seizure level speeds with a blue tint and Brock runs out from the back, looking like he's filled to the brim with excitement.
Mr. Rottentreats: From Chicago, Illinois and weighing in at a combined weight of 390 pounds… they are Joe and Brock…
Mr. Rottentreats pauses for a moment then looks over at Crowbar.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Who the fuck are these guys?”
Crowbar looks at the match sheet and then raises an eyebrow. He looks back at Mr. Rottentreats.
Crowbar: “The Stanton Brothers...apparently.”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Who?”
Crowbar: “THE STANTON BROTHERS!!”
Mr. Rottentreats jumps back, falls and falls to a knee as he holds his chest. The fans in the top middle balcony begin to chant “Please Don’t Die!” as he shakes it off.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Geez ya don’t have to yell at me... THE ssSSTAANTOoon Brrrooothers!”
Bouncing around, Stanton races towards the ring, slapping every fan he can's hand and only looking back to make sure that Joe's followed him out, which he has, albeit at a much slower pace than his younger brother. The Blue Blur slides into the ring and he does a lap around it before hopping in mid-run onto the second buckle of the nearest turnbuckle, throwing a fist into the air with a smile before hopping off and in mid-air spinning to face inside the ring!
Crowbar: “….They look like idiots....and I think I’m glad I’m not epileptic.”
Kandi Washington: “They hardly did anything last week and I predict the same outcome this week.”
Tony D: “Be nice for once would you?”
Kris Red: “Tony! Watch your mouth. That’s our boss and The First Lady!”
Faint By Linkin Park blasts over the pa system.
Mr. Rottentreats: “And introducing their opponents. First from Los Angeles, California and weighing in at 210 pounds… ANTON CHASE!!”
White smoke fills the entrance way as a person is seen behind the white smoke, as the person steps forward in front of the white smoke Anton Chase makes his way down the ramp way, with a cocky smile on his face and his arms out at the side, he climbs in the ring and climbs the second ropes and puts one hand up in the air.
Kandi Washington: “Anton Chase, a man who was deemed unworthy and unfit to face me this week. He took the cowardly way out of having to face me and dropped the title to Leon. Loser!”
Tony D: “That’s uncalled for! Anton Chase is a Two-Time WARPED Evolution champion!”
Kris Red: “That just means he’s lost two times, Tony D!”
Crowbar: “I’ll give Chase some credit, he’s done alright, not lately though, should wipe that smug grin off his face.”
Mr. Rottentreats: “His partner this evening hails from the heart of the Murder Mitten; Detroit, Michigan! Still reeking of his Boston festivities … The Dirty Mac Attack! CAMERON MACNICHOL!!
As the riff of Black Sabbath’s “N.I.B.” hits the PA system, Cameron MacNichol walks out from behind the curtain arm-in-arm with his sister Dyan. They pause, he gives her a brotherly peck on the cheek, and they continue on down to the ring. He slides under the bottom rope, and she prompts the audience to cheer louder.
Kris Red: “Why does Cameron Macnichol gets a special introduction? Is he being scouted by the AbomintionZ?”
Tony D: “Anything nice to say about Cameron MacNichol?”
Crowbar: “Uh...his sister is hot? No, he’s not being scouted, well, not yet.”
Kandi Washington: “Hot? I bet she looks like him. I cringe at the thought.”
(ding, ding, ding)
Tony D: “The referee has called for the bell, but it looks like Cameron and Anton are still not on the same page here tonight.”
Crowbar: “Excuse me a moment.”
Crowbar is seen whispering into Kandi's ear before they both stand up. He removes the headset and walks over to where Randy Long is sitting. He calmly says a few words to which Randy obviously argues with, before Crowbar grabs him by the clothing and throws him off the chair, making an offering hand motion to Mr. Rottentreats. They shake hands before Crowbar walks back over to the commentary table, puts his headset back on and sits back down, where Kandi sits on his lap again. Mr. Rottentreats takes a seat, puts the mic beside him and leans back.
As the referee signals for the bell, Cameron and Anton immediately start to bicker as to who is going to start the match. Brock and Joe race across the ring—Brock connects with a dropkick to the back of Anton as he falls through the second rope and Joe spins Cameron around: whipping him into the ropes. As Cameron bounces off the ropes, he’s quickly taken down with a powerslam.
The referee maintains the order as he enforces Brock to go off to his corner as Joe starts to pick Cameron up off the mat. He grabs him from around the neck and brings him down with a jawbreaker. Joe stumbles back and Cameron runs at him with a spear. He leaves Joe raveling on the canvas as he goes to his corner and tags in Anton. Anton bullies his way in there and starts yelling at Cameron.
Crowbar: “Fuck, they should just get a room and settle their differences that way.”
Tony D: “I apologize for the crudeness ladies and gentlemen. Anton on the offensive!”
Anton runs over and grabs Joe by the ankle and leans down to grab him by the neck, before Anton can do anything else, Joe uppercuts him underneath his chin. Anton stumbles backwards and Joe lifts him up as he drops him down across the knee with a gutbuster. He rolls him over, 1 – 2 – Anton kicks out as Cameron looks a bit relieved.
Kris Red: “Ya gotta do more than that Joseph, that’s Anton freakin’ Chase!”
Crowbar: “A pin after a gutbuster? Fuuuuck. Worst. Move. Ever.”
Tony D: “I wouldn’t go that far, Crowbar. He managed to get a two count.”
Crowbar: “Tony, do me a favor, fuck off backstage. Now. You’re relieved of your duties for the rest of the night.”
Tony D stands up and asks if Crowbar is serious, to which he nods. Tony takes off his headset and walks off with his head down.
Joe lifts Anton up and walks him over to the Stanton’s corner and tags in his brother Brock. Brock hops over the second rope and delivers a kick to the kidneys as Joe releases him into his custody. Brock whips Anton across the ring and Anton reverses it. When Brock bounces off the ropes, he’s taken down with a quick hurricanrana. Brock is thrown to the second rope and Anton runs off another set of ropes with a low dropkick to the head.
Kandi Washington: “It looks like Brock Stanton almost had his brain matter splattered around the ring.”
Crowbar: “Now THAT I would pay to see!”
Brock falls down to the mat as stands over the side of Brock and connects with a standing shooting star press. He hooks the leg, 1 – 2 – Brock Stanton kicks out. Anton kneels up with three fingers up and yelling at the referee. He leans down and grabs Brock up to his feet and runs him over to his corner. He slams Brock’s face first into the top turnbuckle and slaps Cameron across the face, “get in” he yells at Cameron.
Kris Red: “Damn, Anton is in a mood! That was a good tag, though.”
Kandi Washington: “I would have slapped him back and left. Nobody disrespects me, as why Cameron is a former champion, and a pussy!”
Crowbar: “If I argue, she’ll kick me in the nuts.”
Cameron steps back inside the ring and the two partners’ share an evil look at each other as Cameron starts connecting him chops across Brock’s chest. Brock stumbles against the top rope as Cameron grabs him by his wrist and sends him into the ropes. Brock bounces back as he connects with a spinebuster. He hooks the leg, 1 – 2 – Joe runs in and pulls Cameron off of his brother. The referee gets in between Joe and Cameron as Brock crawls to the ropes.
Crowbar: “Not a bad one, that”
Kris Red: “He may have had the pin there, but lucky he got saved, that was mean!”
Cameron looks over and reaches down to grab Brock, but Brock catches him up with a quick small package, 1 – Cameron kicks out. Cameron is first to his feet, but Brock is quickly up in high pursuit. He whips Cameron into the ropes and as Cameron bounces off the ropes—he’s catapult across the ring with a monkey flip. Cameron rolls up to his feet and Brock runs with a shining wizard to the temple.
Kris Red: “Shining Wizard! Ouch!”
Anton starts yelling at Cameron, “come on you idiot!” Brock is up to his feet and walks over to the corner as he starts to climb up to the top rope. He marks for Cameron as he starts up to his feet. Cameron turns around and Brock leaps off the top rope with a super Lou Thez Press. He starts to follow it up with forearms to the face; 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – Brock breaks the count. Brock is first to his feet and he tags in his brother.
Kandi Washington: “He broke it up in the nick of time.”
Joe runs in with a running knee strike to the side of Cameron’s face. Cameron falls to his hands and knees as he’s crawling toward Anton with his arm extended. Anton leans down over the second rope and flips him off before hopping off the apron.
Kris Red: “Anton is leaving! What the hell?!”
Crowbar: “Wise move on Antons part, I mean, what is this, a porno? What’s with all the shots to the face and head?”
Joe grabs the back of Cameron and lifts him up to his feet, he grabs a handful of his tights and bring him up off the canvas with a fishman buster. He hooks the leg, 1 – 2 – Cameron kicks out. Anton is walking off and leaving his partner to fight on his own. Joe calls in Brock and both brothers double whip Cameron into the ropes. Cameron bounces off the ropes and they connect with a double flapjack.
Kandi Washington: “Cameron does not look like he’s in a good place right now.”
Kris Red: “What do you expect? His partner bailed on him like a coward!”
Cameron stumbles up to his feet Joe lifts him up as he sets him down across the leg with a backbreaker while Brock has climbed to the top rope. He leaps off the top turnbuckle with a flying elbow drop.
Kris Red: “TRUE BLUE!”
Brock leans back in the corner and Joe covers, 1 – 2 – 3! Brock walks over to his brother and raises his arm as the fans erupt with cheers as Anton Chase remains at the top of the ramp with his arms folded across his chest, just shaking his head in disgust at Cameron’s performance.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Here are your winners! THE STANTON BROTHERS!!”
Kandi Washington: “I can’t say I was really surprised him. I knew Cameron was going to be useless in this match and Anton Chase stole a page out of my book. I want my 10%”!
Kris Red: “I think you’ll have to take that up with him, he at least should share his cut for turning up!”
They continue to celebrate as the fans cheer for the brothers.
Crowbar: “Kris, do me a favor man...”
Kris Red: “You’re not going to...”
Crowbar: “No no, I want you to come backstage with me and have a chat. Don’t worry, we’ve got replacements lined up”
Kris Red, Kandi Washington and Crowbar all stand up and take their headsets off. They walk around the ring where The Stanton Brothers are celebrating their victory and up the ramp to the back.
The CarnEvil Connection are enjoying themselves amongst the WARPED Faithful standing in line waiting to get in. At least amongst those that are proudly sporting the brand new AbominationZ t-shirts and hoodies. As a matter of fact it's a good chunk of the line. And as Juggalos do pre-show outside of WARPED they're excitedly spurting off random chants of "Family" and shouting "Whoop Whoop!" The camera zooms in on Treats and Dougie with big grins on their faces.
Mr. Rottentreats: "What up out there in iPPV land and those watching on that fancy monitor inside of the Hammerstein Ballroom?! It's ya friendly Wicked Clowns of WARPED. We need to get some shit off our chest."
Douglas Fresh: "First off. We watched the footage that this rowdy gorilla muthafacko sent to UK Dragons. He had an AbominationZ logo on the back of his shirt.. Big deal! It's a Twiztid album."
Mr. Rottentreats: "And believe it or not.. There ARE juggalos all over the world. Just look at how many of em are right here in New York City!"
Juggalos In Line "WHOOP WHOOP!"
Mr. Rottentreats: "Ya'll wanna say we made shit personal? Nah. It got personal when you destroyed our late great father's glass piece. Which by the way was made by a fan in Oregon who's extra pissed. A lot of love went into making that for our pops!"
Douglas Fresh: "We don't want sympathy our fathers fans know the deal. The juggalos know the deal. And Pat! He knows the deal too. No one gives a fuck about your bitch ass brother. Frankly we don't care about the fucking titles either. Because even if your title reign surpasses ours in days, weeks, or even years. You'll never be able to say you defended them on the hallowed grounds of Madison Square Garden."
Mr. Rottentreats: "Just the dump around the corner.. Whether you're both on the rag or not. Tonight you're gonna bleed!"
Juggalos In Line: "FAM-UH-LEE FAM-UH-LEE!"
The scene changes, and is now that of a locker room in black and white. The view is from a surveillance camera in the top corner of the room. On the top of the shot lists the date as 1/25/13 at 22:34. After a few seconds pass, suddenly a few recognizable men come into the locker room - Crowbar, Starr, Mr Rottentreats and Douglas Fresh. They begin looking through lockers at a rapid pace. Finally, Starr waves them over to a bag that he's digging through that sets atop a fold-out chair. He pulls out what looks to be a wallet, and then pulls out some cards. They celebrate with high fives and quickly put the bag back to the way it was and rush out of the locker room. The surveillance scene statics to black.
PKA is then shown backstage at WARPED74.
PKA: "So, clearly I'm innocent. And that's what it's all about, right? Nah.. it's about justice. Tonight, it's about keeping The AbominationZ from winning the gold. They can play their games and be on commentary and he-he and haw-haw, but when they try to MURDER somebody, that's a whole different story. Tonight, AbominationZ, your entire dream of running the fed is going to be murdered in cold blood once the UK Dragons, maybe Leon or Hugo, and William Wallace all do the deed and make sure none of you get the win. And me? Well, I'm going to go out there and fight an old pal of mine who thought that I wasn't the innocent man that I have sworn I am. But now, we're not fighting because of hate.. we're fighting because we love to entertain - and with an FnX rule tacked on - it's all the better. Dylan Daniels, I'll see ya out there. You'll get paid, and I'll get the win."
PKA brings his hand up to the camera and covers it, blacking the scene out.
The cameras fade back to the ring area. Crowbar walks over to the announce table after a brief trip backstage and joins CCNX on commentary. He puts on a headset and leans back.
Crowbar: “Gents, how be thou on this fine 3rd Month Anniversary?”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Never felt better, Crowbeezy!”
Douglas Fresh: “Same here. How bout you? Did you enjoy your nap?”
Crowbar: “Oh hell yes. I goddamned needed it after that.”
Randy Long is shown standing in the ring ready to introduce this match!
Randy Long: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall and to be contested under FnX Rules! That means no count out, no disqualification, falls count anywhere, and brutality is encouraged! Introducing first.."
The opening beats of Fall Out Boy - My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up) hits the PA System. WARPEDVision shows a flame start to burn as the lyrics kick in..
Oh whoa oh oh oh
Randy Long: “From Wichita, Kansas - weighing in at 201 pounds - The Ultraviolent Perfectionist, “Grade A” P.. K.. A!”
PKA makes his way down the aisle, slapping the hands of fans along the way. He walks up the ring steps, looking out at the fans with a smirk on his face as they cheer him on. He hops over the top rope and jumps onto the turnbuckle, putting his arms out in a crucifix once more and leaning his head back, soaking in the cheers. He hops down from the turnbuckle.
Mr. Rottentreats: "And here comes Pat."
Douglas Fresh: "Boone?"
The pounding of the drums and distorted chugging of Dimebag Darrell’s guitar and Rex Browns pulsating bass over take the PA system. Fog seeps it way upon the WARPED entrance ramp as Philip Anselmo’s vocals kick in.
“The end will crush the light, and send a message.
Atop the ramp Dylan Daniels appears arms spread out back facing the ring. His upper body covered in an aged misfits hoody.
Mr. Rottentreats: "Get this ladies and gentlemen.. Dylan Daniels is attempting to lose weight for the Total J Cup."
Douglas Fresh: "Oh yeah? Maybe Pat will help him shred fat with some barbwire!"
“When I die, I cast a shadow
Dylan Daniels swings his right leg around pivoting on his left foot. Keeping his hooded head down.
And I’ll Rise, I cast a shadow!
He cockily begins to saunter down the aisle. He stops every few steps at certain WARPED fan who seem to be visually upset with his appearance here in WARPED.
Randy Long: And his opponent - weighing in at two-hundred and forty two pounds. From Asheville, North Carolina, by way of Greensboro, North Carolina. Dyyylllaaaan Daaaaanieels!
When Dylan reaches the ring he takes his time ascending the ring steps before wiping his boots on the apron. He makes his way to the other ring post and climbs to the second turnbuckle and pulls his hood back as he raises a fist high in the air. After this simplistic pose, he uses the turnbuckle to bounce himself over the rope into the ring. He steps to the center of the ring, drops to one knee and flips the crowd off. Upon reaching his designated corner he unzips his hoody and to reveal his elbow pads and and black singlet.
Crowbar: "Dumber and Drunker ready to brawl, lets see some fuckin' blood!"
Both men stand face to face in the middle of the ring as they begin to trade verbal jabs back and forth. PKA starts taunting Daniels while moving closer, being his typical self, but Daniels will have none of it and knocks him down with a stiff clothesline. The bell sounds!
Mr. Rottentreats: “Nothing I love more than watching these two beat the hell out of each other bruddas!”
Douglas Fresh: “Same here. They’ve been doing this for ten years and it never gets old!”
Crowbar: “Just think, they could have been kissing instead....uh...that’s not something anyone wants to see actually...viewers at home, don’t ask.”
PKA just laughs and tells Daniels to bring it on. Daniels goes for one more clothesline but PKA ducks it!
Mr. Rottentreats: “That one would have taken his head of for sure!”
Crowbar: “No complaints here if it had’ve.”
PKA quickly goes behind slapping on an octopus stretch as the referee begins asking Daniels if he wants to give it up to which Daniels tells him to go fuck himself to the delight of the crowd. He begins fighting the hold, bringing PKA over to the mat with a hip toss variation.
Douglas Fresh: “Pat should have used the top rope on that hold.”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Easy, Mr. Rasslin’ you’re thinking about an abdominal stretch.”
Daniels quickly hits a couple of snap suplexes in succession. As he hits the last one, PKA staggers up and leans against the ropes. Daniels, in wait, winds up and bounces off the ropes, clotheslining PKA over the top rope to the floor!
Crowbar: “...Well Dougie, you just said he should have used the top rope....he kinda did there!”
Douglas Fresh: “Yeah, but I said Pat, not Dyldo!”
Daniels backs up and watches PKA slowly start to get up. PKA pushes himself up with his hand underneath the canvas. Daniels starts to run at PKA but is met with a kendo stick to the midsection!
Mr. Rottentreats: “Right in the bread basket!”
Douglas Fresh: “Do it again! Beat the hell out of him!”
The sound rings out through the entire Hammerstein Ballroom as the crowd lets out a loud “OOOOOOHHHH”. Daniels rolls back into the ring while PKA starts shouting at Daniels before sliding back into the ring with the kendo stick, unleashing shot after shot over Daniels’ back.
Crowbar: “That shit is damned painful, but funny as hell to watch here!”
Daniels forces himself to his knees, but as he does PKA leans back and swings, connecting with the skull of Daniels. He collapses to the mat as PKA goes for a quick cover!
Mr. Rottentreats: “Pat-a-tat-tat trying to end this one early.”
Daniels kicks out to the shock of PKA and quickly rolls to the outside. PKA begins screaming at the referee to do his damned job.
Douglas Fresh: “Instead of arguing with the ref he should do his damn job and beat the shit out of Dylan!”
Crowbar: “Dude, It’s Pat, he’ll argue with anyone for the hell of it.”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Must be the alcohol.”
PKA gets enraged as he backs up to the ropes. Daniels is hiding with a chair, listening for PKA. PKA takes off but is greeted by Daniels, holding the chair up. PKA slams into the chair and falls to the mat. Daniels pulls him to the outside yelling at him that “the party has just started” then he throws him into the barricade. PKA slumps down as Daniels comes charging, connecting with the head of PKA! His head snaps back and slams into the barricade.
Mr. Rottentreats: “He smacked the guyliner of his eye lids!!”
Douglas Fresh: “Nothing like a lifeless body to get you hyped for a title match!”
Crowbar: “Aren’t lifeless bodies usually what we leave behind?”
PKA seems to be knocked out cold as Daniels picks up what seems to be dead weight as he rolls PKA back into the ring before he slides back in himself. Daniels grabs the chair which is now dented thanks to PKA. PKA sees him coming as he kicks the chair up into his face.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Dyldo really should have pinned him instead of giving him time to recover.”
Douglas Fresh: “Screw that, now we get to see them get eeexxtrreeeeme!”
Daniels stumbles back as PKA quickly gets to his feet, he hits Daniels with a super kick out of nowhere that sounds like a gun shot going off through the building!
Mr. Rottentreats: “I hope he broke his jaw!”
Douglas Fresh: “Are you kidding? He’s got three chins for extra padded protection!”
Crowbar: “More chins than a chinese phonebook? Ha...haha...no? fuckers.”
The crowd begins chanting “This is awesome *clap clap clap,clap,clap* this is awesome!!!” The chair has busted Daniels open badly.
Mr. Rottentreats: “When did New York City become so easy to please?”
Douglas Fresh: “No kidding! Crescent kicks aren’t THAT awesome!”
Crowbar: “At least we know what to do to entertain them next time.”
PKA starts using Daniels blood as war paint as a “PKA/You Sick Fuck!” chant begins in the crowd. PKA smiles out at the crowd as he begins mocking Daniels. Daniels wipes his face looking down at his hand seeing his own blood he then looks up at PKA and begins throwing heavy punches as he makes his way back to his feet. PKA tries to fight back but Daniels blocks. Daniels hits a cutter, sending PKA face first into the steel chair laying on the ground. He goes for the pin...
Mr. Rottentreats: “Crimson masks all around, bruddas!”
Douglas Fresh: “Don’t call that a cutter people. Dylan is adamant that it’s a ¾ facelock drop or some shit!
Crowbar: “Why the fuck is everyone hijacking my cutter...er...¾ facelock drop these days? Fucks sake....”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Technically... He’s been using that since the nineties.”
Crowbar: “Yeah, but I pull it off a hell of alot better.”
Mr. Rottentreats: “True that! Just trying to keep my journalistic integrity out here, brudda!”
Both men are now busted open as Daniels gets back to his feet, climbing out of the ring. He reaches down and grabs a bag. He lifts it up showing it to the crowd as he now looks at PKA with a sadistic smile.
Douglas Fresh: “BAG OF TREATS! BAH GAWD IT’S THE BAG OF TREATS!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Speaking of infringement! What the fuck is this?!”
Crowbar: “We all gettin screwed at this point, motherf....”
He slides into the ring, un-tying the bag, he dumps out hundreds of thumb tacks. They scatter all over the ring.
Crowbar: “About damned time! More blood! More injuries! Less work for us!”
Daniels picks up PKA and begins setting him up for a suplex but PKA blocks with knees to the head slipping down behind Daniels. He tries to lift him but Daniels quickly hits him with back elbows to the face breaking the grip of PKA as we can see thumbtacks stuck in the boots of both men.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Come on Pat! You know better than to try and lift that fat ass!”
Douglas Fresh: “No comment.”
Daniels thinks he has PKA but suddenly PKA grabs him, hitting a wheelbarrow into a facebuster, sending Daniels crashes down right into the thumbtacks.
Crowbar: “He may not be able to lift his fat ass, but ….fuck it....TIMBEEEEEEEERRRR!”
He has tacks sticking out of his face as a “Holy Shit” chant starts throughout the arena. Daniels is grabbing at his face as PKA begins picking tacks out of his ass. Daniels looks like he has been in a car crash as he is now bleeding profusely from the thumbtacks stuck in his face.
Mr. Rottentreats: “What do you call a Dyldo with thumbtacks in it?”
Crowbar: “Other than an apparent Holy Shit moment? Let me think....uh....no idea.”
Douglas Fresh: “Painful?”
Mr. Rottentreats: “NO! The ripper!”
PKA waits for him to get to his feet screaming at him. As Daniels gets to his feet PKA springboards off the ropes attempting the the P Krusher III. Dylan sees it coming and takes rolls back. When PKA lands he’s hit with a chop block from Daniels. Daniels rolls to his feet and rebounds off the ropes with a shining wizard. PKA ducks. Daniels with his leg still hooked on PKA kicks him in the back of the head.
Mr. Rottentreats: “INSPIRATION ON DEMAND!!!”
Douglas Fresh: “With thumbtacks on the side!”
Dylan rolls PKA over on to the thumbtacks then jumps to the bottom rope.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Here it comes ladies and gentlemen!”
Douglas Fresh: “The fifteen minute finish!”
Dylan bounces up and down on the bottom rope before jumping into the air. PKA rolls out of the way and Daniels falls face and stomach first into the tacks.
Mr. Rottentreats: “The ripper makes another appearance tonight!”
Dylan writhes in pain as PKA ascends the ropes. He signals to the crowd before attempting an aerial maneuver of his own.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Corkscre.. Nevermind!!
PKA crashes to the thumbtack covered canvas just after Daniels rolls out of the way.
Douglas Fresh: “See that’s why you shouldn’t do flippity flops or whoopity dos!”
Crowbar: “I think that alcoholic binge of the past....what, 12 years? has impaired Pats judgement a bit...”
Daniels rolls PKA over once more this time jumping to the second rope. He wastes no time in hopping off with a splash hitting PKA.
Mr. Rottentreats: “I don’t want this match to end!”
Daniels takes his sweet time getting up and and climbing the ropes. When he reaches the top he takes flight and comes crashing hard to the same thumbtack covered canvas!
Mr. Rottentreats: “And my wish comes true!”
Crowbar: “Well, after no learning on anyones part whatsoever, we now have a human pin cushion!”
The referee checks on both men as they both are out.
Douglas Fresh: “I don’t think you did. I think they’re both out!”
The crowd starts dueling Massacre/PKA chant. Both men begin to stir.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Get up! Can’t end FnX matches like this!”
Both men are pulling themselves up by the ropes.
Douglas Fresh: “Yeah! You’re starting to become a stain on the legacy of FNX Dyldo!”
Crowbar: “....I can’t argue with that, I’ve been in enough matches to know that...well, YOU’RE FUCKING IT UP DYLDO.”
PKA backs into Daniels who locks on a half nelson.
Mr. Rottentreats: “MISERY DRIVER!!!’
PKA begins to drive the back of his skull into the face of Daniels.
Douglas Fresh: “And we thought Kameleon’s palm thrusts to the face were vicious!”
Daniels loosens his grip before stumbling back and holding his nose. PKA runs toward the ropes and springs back with a flipping reverse ddt.
Mr. Rottentreats: “P-KRUSHAAAA THREEE!”
Crowbar: “This is the match that never eeends, yes it goes on and on....SOMEONE KILL SOMEONE ALREADY!”
PKA covers Daniels and the ref begins counting.
Mr. Rottentreats: “You know what I loved most about this match?”
Douglas Fresh: “It’s over?”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Nope! They’re both a bloody mess now!”
Crowbar: “CLEAN UP ON AISLE 3! BLOODSTAINS!”
PKA's theme hits the PA System. He gets to his feet, pulling himself up with the ropes, blood dripping down his face. The fans stand up applauding both men. Suddenly, "Headstrong" by Trapt blasts over the PA System. The crowd pops as WARPED Wrestling President Joey Matthew makes his way out on the stage! He looks left and right, and behind him, at the AbominationZ-themed WARPEDVision and he shakes his head.
Crowbar: "What is he doing here?"
The music dies down..Joey pulls a mic up and speaks.
Joey Matthew: "Boy, looks like we've done a bit of remodeling, eh guys?"
The fans chant "Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back!"
Joey Matthew: "Thanks, thanks, it's great to be back.. BUT, it's sad that I have to be here under these circumstances. First of all, PKA - congratulations - and sorry for raining on your parade, but this had to be done right now."
PKA drops down in the corner of the ring, panting. He shrugs his shoulders and mouths 'whatever'. Joey continues.
Joey Matthew: "It's not every day that you find out that your Number One Contender is responsible for nearly killing your World Champion, but yeah, that happened, so here I am. Hey Crowbar, Mr. Rottentreats, Douglas, hi guys."
Joey waves from the stage. The trio of AbominationZ are shown standing up in front of the announce table, headsets off.
Joey Matthew: "Far be it from me to come back and totally clean house and fire every single person here .. Oh, who am I kidding? That'd be exactly something I would do!"
The fans pop!
Joey Matthew: "Buuuuuuuuuut, I'm not going to do that."
A few boos come from the crowd.
Joey Matthew: "What I am going to do, for now, is let you all keep your jobs.. but there's a little issue with this whole commentating and announcing gig you've taken on. How about you all make your way to the back and, well, STAY THERE?!"
The fans pop!
Joey Matthew: "As we head to intermission - consider this your chance to stay as far away from the ring as possible during any and all title matches tonight. I am officially BANNING anybody associated with AbominationZ from the ringside area. That means no Crowbar or Kandi on commentary during the Tag Team Title match, no StarrZoe anywhere during the Evolution Title match.. hell, Kandi can leave her bodyguards backstage too. The World Title match will be one on one and if any of you even show your faces in this arena anywhere but backstage during the title matches, you'll be fired on the spot!"
The fans erupt in cheers! Mr. Rottentreats grabs a mic.
Mr. Rottentreats: "Yeah sure Joseph. Ban all of us. And leave those of us participating in matches wide open for the rest of the world!"
He hands it over to Douglas Fresh.
Douglas Fresh: "Anything to keep the titles off of us.. Right Joseph?"
Douglas hands the mic to Crowbar.
Crowbar: "What the fuck is this shit? You've got to be kidding me, I'm the goddamn General Manager, I still have some measure of control over the damned show!"
The camera goes to Joey who has a smile on his face.
Joey Matthew: "Sure you do, but you can control things from backstage. Hey - I'll tell ya what - you can hang out for the SHEEP SHEEP... versus, himself, match.. But any second longer, you're FIRED!"
The camera turns back to Crowbar. He thinks for a minute and gets an evil grin across his face.
Crowbar: "No worries, Boss!"
The camera pans to Joey, who looks pleasantly surprised.
Joey Matthew: "Oh really? Fantastic. To everyone here tonight - thank you for helping WARPED reach this third birthday, and I'm looking forward to the fourth already! But first, enjoy three huge title matches tonight coming up after intermission. Thank you very much."
Joey nods and waves to the fans as they cheer. "Headstrong" by Trapt hits the PA and he makes his way backstage.
- INTERMISSION -
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- INTERMISSION -
15 minutes later, the show is back! It's time for the first ever YOURSELF Match as SHEEP SHEEP will face himself. Yep...
Crowbar and Alexander StarrZoe are shown at the ringside table.
Crowbar: "Back from intermission, joined by the future World Champ."
Starr: "Consider yourself lucky. Let's get this over with."
The Farmers whistle sounds and the sound of a farmer shouting is heard before Old McDonald has a farm begins to play and SHEEP SHEEP emerges from the back. He starts running after his own tail on the stage before running down the ramp. He stops and runs back up the ramp and Old McDonald has a farm starts playing again. SHEEP SHEEP runs down the ramp again and gets in the ring. The referee looks around and scratches his head before ringing the bell.
Starr: "Why did you book....?"
Crowbar: "Saw him backstage having a mental breakdown, perfect solution!"
Starr: "You're a strange bastard sometimes."
Crowbar: "Thank you!"
SHEEP SHEEP begins running around the ring before bouncing off the ropes. He stops in the middle of the ring before beginning to, what looks like, hug himself!
Crowbar: "A tie up there between SHEEP SHEEP and ...uh...himself!"
Starr: "Starting to see now?"
SHEEP SHEEP struggles with himself for a little bit before falling forwards onto the mat. He rolls around and starts punching himself. The referee looks over at Crowbar on commentary and Crowbar just shrugs and motions to let it continue.
By this time SHEEP SHEEP is back on his feed and has himself in a headlock before turning it into a DDT on himself! He grabs his head and rolls around before getting up and dropping an elbow! Another elbow!
Crowbar: "SHEEP SHEEP is angry! ..what the fuck was I thinking."
Starr: "Had you been around CENX when you booked this?"
Crowbar: "No comment."
SHEEP SHEEP begins to baaah loudly and angrily before climbing to the top rope.
SHEEP SHEEP locks himself in a headlock and dives off the top rope! SELFSUPERPLEX! SHEEP SHEEP lays on the ground grabbing his head before laying on his back and draping an arm over himself. The referee gets down and begins counting...
Crowbar: "SHEEP SHEEP nearly beat himself!"
Starr: "Would you listen to yourself?"
SHEEP SHEEP gets up and starts punching himself in the stomach before running and bouncing off the ropes, putting his arm up and hitting a clothesline!
Starr: "Self clothesline! Self clothesline!"
Crowbar: "Good one, JR"
SHEEP SHEEP struggles to his feet before signalling THE LAMB CHOP!
Crowbar: "Is SHEEP SHEEP really going to..."
Starr: "Can we get some medics or someone out here? Fuck."
SHEEP SHEEP some how manages to hit the backhanded chop, THE LAMB CHOP on himself! Falling down outcold with his arm over himself again!
Kandi Washington: "AND YOUR WINNER....uh....SHEEP SHEEP?"
Old McDonald had a farm hits the arena as everyone stands around looking confused.
Crowbar: "SHEEP SHEEP has beat himself! ....wait that sounded..."
Starr: "No recovery from that, just leave it."
The referee walks over and raises the arm of the unconcious SHEEP SHEEP!
Crowbar: "Well, enough of this."
Crowbar and Starr both take off their headsets per the order of President Joey Matthew. Kandi Washington joins the two men and gets in betwene them and they both give her an arm as they make their way up the aisle as the fans chant "Na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye!" and they ignore along the way. In the ring, SHEEP SHEEP is slowly starting to come to. The fans give him a standing ovation as he gets help from the referee to get to his feet.
The camera pans to the ringside area where we see Tony D and Kris Red putting their headsets on and having a seat.
Tony D: "Well Kris, it's great to be back."
Kris Red: "Speak for yourself, Tony D. There were strippers backstage and they wanted the D."
Tony D: "Oh my.. Well fans, we've just seen the first ever Yourself match as SHEEP SHEEP put a beating on .. SHEEP SHEEP.. what a match?"
Kris Red: "Hey, it's original. There's not a lot of originality anymore in this game of ours anymore."
Tony D: "Very true. Speaking of things you don't see every day, we've got brand new Tag Team Champions of WARPED Wrestling, and they don't even officially represent this company! The UK Dragons, comprised of Laurel Anne Hardy and Evangelista proudly represent pwFRONTIER, a great UK based independent wrestling company. Tonight, they put the titles on the line in the official rematch against the Carnival Connection."
Kris Red: "Last time they faced was just a week ago in a 2 out of 3 falls match, and it appeared that the UK Dragons had the Carnival Connection's number from the jump, but the Carny's came back in a big way, but it wasn't enough to keep their gold."
Tony D: "Let's take a look at the Reactionsfrom last week after the title change!"
We're taken to a video of "Reactions" from UK Dragons and Carnival Connection following their match at WARPED73 just last week...
The UK Dragons
The camera fades back to the ringside area to Tony D and Kris Red.
Tony D: "Well, will it indeed be the shortest Tag Title reign? Let's find out!"
Kris Red: "I miss the strippers."
Randy Randy Long: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the WARPED Tag Team Championship!
Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Gimme Back My Bullets” plays followed by a smoke filled entrance. Mr. Rottentreats and Douglas Fresh walk cockily to the ring jaw jacking with the fans.
Randy Long: First making their way to the ring, the challengers, at a combined weight of 400 cannabis & protein shakes, from the Carnival Grounds…the Carnevil Connection!"
Once they get to the ring Douglas rolls underneath the bottom rope and quickly kips up. He swings his towel in the air as Treats climbs to the top rope and removes his hooded vest. Treats jumps down and removes his tear away pants revealing his trunks as Douglas does the same.
Tony D: And there they are, folks. The FORMER tag team champions.
Kris Red: You just love rubbing it in, don’t you, Tony D?
Tony D: Remember how you acted at Warped 73? What’s good for the goose…
Kris Red: This has nothing to do with birds, Tony D. This is about redemption! Tonight Treats and Douglas are going to reclaim what rightfully belongs to them! Those thieves the UK Dragons are going to be sorry they stole from the AbominationZ!
Tony D: Speaking of which, remember that before the intermission, President Joey Matthew has ruled that the other members of AbominationZ have been banned from ringside for the duration of this match, and that applies to the other title matches tonight!
Kris Red: WHAT? That’s not fair! The bell hasn’t even rung and already these guys are getting screwed!
Tony D: Are you implying that the “Carnevil” Connection can’t win without help from their teammates?
Kris Red: N-no! I didn’t say that. Don’t put words in my mouth or I may just put my fist in yours!
Tony D: Easy, partner. Let’s keep the action in the ring.
Randy Long: And their opponents…
"Candy Castle" by Glass Candy starts to play and the fans give a mixed reaction as Laurel Anne Hardy and Evangelista brush through the curtains. Their music cuts off and "Move Bitch" by Ludacris kicks in. They look around confused. WARPEDVision kicks in and Crowbar, Starr and Kandi are seen backstage in the audio area, waving at the camera before it cuts out.
Tony D: "Oh come on! Changing the music?"
Kris Red: "Haha! Genius! Move, BITCHES!"
The UK Dragons march down to the ring while holding the titles over their shoulders.
Randy Long: At a combined weight of 281 pounds, they are the Warped tag-
Before Long can finish, Treats and Douglas exit the ring and run towards the champs. Laurel and Evangelista drop their titles and charge at the challengers. The two meet in the middle of the ramp and trade punches back and forth.
Tony D: And neither side is going to wait another second! HERE WE GO!
Kris Red: HELL YEAH! An old fashioned brawl will put those girls down for good!
Tony D: The Dragons aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty, Kris. But I will admit that the Carnevil Connection might be a bit more brutal-WOAH!
Treats grabs Laurel by the back of the head and hurls her chest first into the ring steps. Meanwhile, Fresh leans Evangelista against the barricade and delivers knees to the stomach. Treats walks over to Laurel, picks her up and goes for another whip, but Laurel counters and sends Treats shoulder first into the barricade. She then climbs on the apron, sets herself up and leaps off with a hurricarana that sends Treats to the floor. Treats grabs his back and tries to crawl away. Meanwhile, Evangelista stomps on Fresh’s foot and connects with a headbutt. Fresh turns around allowing Evangelista to grab him from behind and deliver an atomic drop.
Tony D: The Dragons are now able to fight back, and it looks like the challengers are retreating.
Kris Red: Retreating? Come on Tony D, the AbominationZ don’t “retreat”. They strategize and plan out their next attack.
Tony D: Do they often “strategize” on their hands and knees, Kris?
Kris Red: I-
Before Kris can say anything else, Treats gets to his feet at the barricade corner and Laurel runs at him and hits a dropkick that sends him up and over.
Tony D: And that dropkick from Laurel sends Treats into the crowd! I don’t think the match has even started yet!
Kris Red: No bell, no rules.
Laurel goes over the barricade and kicks Treats in the back before picking him up and whipping him into a couple empty seats. On the other side of the barricade, Evangelista front suplexes Fresh rib first on the barricade. She then climbs up on the barricade and hits a leg drop to the back of the head. She picks up Fresh and hurls him into the crowd as well. As she goes after him, Laurel picks Treats up. Treats quickly grabs a chair from one of the fans and drives it into Laurel’s stomach. He then smacks her in the back with it causing her to fall to her hands and knees. He finishes her off with a simple whack to the back of the head.
Tony D: And Treats now using any weapon he can find to take Laurel out.
Kris Red: Great improvising from the TRUE champs of this match.
Tony D: I can see your nose turning brown before my very eyes.
Evangelista hears the chair shots and makes her way through the touchy-feely crowd to get over to her partner, but Fresh catches up to her and drives a forearm to the back of the head. Fresh clips the back of her left leg and then drives a boot into her face. Treats walks over to Evangelista and jams the edge of the chair into her lower back. As he presses his weight against the chair, he looks over at Fresh.
Treats: Hey Dougie, know what sound Rice Krispies makes?
Fresh: What’s that, bro?
Treats: SNAP! CRACKLE! And POP!
Treats drives the chair into Laurel’s back once for each sound. They laugh while the champ screams from the pain.
Kris Red: These guys are hilarious!
Tony D: They’re deplorable, and so are you Kris!
Kris Red: You think my nose is brown, well I KNOW your face is green with envy as my boys prepare to take the gold back.
Treats: Bring them over here.
Treats grabs Laurel by the arm and drags her further into the crowd. Fresh grabs Evangelista’s hair and like a caveman pulls her to where Treats is.
Treats: Put them on the table. I’m going up.
Treats points at a nearby table, and then up at the balcony above them. As he starts climbing Fresh hurls the chair at Evangelista to keep her down, then grabs Laurel and lies her down on the table. When Treats reaches the upper level of the arena he gingerly makes his way to the edge of the balcony and looks down.
Treats: Say goodnight, bitch!
As Treats dives off the balcony, Laurel elevates her leg high enough to drive a knee into Fresh’s face. He lets her go allowing the champ to roll off the table and causing Treats to crash and burn through it.
Tony D: Good lord! Treats just crash landed through the table!
Kris Red: NO! Treats! Somebody call 911!
Before Fresh can check on his brother, Evangelista makes it to her feet and spears Fresh into the wall.
Tony D: The champs answer back!
Kris Red: This is pure carnage, and the match STILL hasn’t even started!
Evangelista gets off of Fresh and goes over to Laurel helping her up. The two slowly make their way back to the ring. As they go over the barricade and slide under the ring ropes the champs take a moment to catch their breath and lick their wounds. Treats and Fresh, meanwhile, are just now starting to show signs of movement.
Tony D: Well once The Connection gets into the ring, maybe then we’ll have a proper title match.
Kris Red: Proper? With those THIEVES as champs? I don’t think so.
Eventually Treats and Fresh manage to make their way out of the crowd and back into to the ring. The referee, who had been waiting all this time for the two teams to return, checks on both sides to make sure they’re ready. He then calls for the bell and it rings.
Tony D: And now, finally, the match has begun!
Kris Red: Both sides took some punishing blows, so I’d say they’re about even at this point. Well, let’s face it, the Dragons were at a disadvantage the moment they signed their names on the contracts.
Tony D: And it looks like Evangelista and Fresh will start off.
As Evangelista and Fresh circle each other, the crowd’s cheers intensify. They go for a grapple when suddenly the lights go out.
Tony D: Wha-are we still on the air?
Kris Red: It’s a black out, Tony D! Quit, grab the valuables!
Tony D: Folks, we appear to be having some technical difficulties as-
Suddenly, very strange dubstep sounding music starts playing, and strobe lights illuminate the otherwise dark arena. The wrestlers in the ring can’t be seen.
Tony D: What the hell-Kris, is this an AbominationZ thing?
Kris Red: No way, Tony D. I don’t know what this is. Honest!
Tony D: It’s hard to tell, but I think I see something-wait, look!
One of the strobe lights points out a blue hand suddenly bursting out from underneath the ring! At the same time, another figure can be seen descending down from the rafters on a wire. Neither man can be seen properly, but their lack of facial features easily stands out.
As both figures get on the mat at the same time, the music suddenly stops and the lights go out once more. The sound of fighting can be heard in the ring.
Tony D: Something’s going on in the ring! Who’s getting attacked!?
Kris Red: I still can’t see!
When the lights come back on, the referee is nowhere to be seen. In his place are two men in body suits, one blue and the other white. The blue suited man has images of an accurate skeletal structure and organs all over his body. The other simply has black holes where his eyes should be. Evangelista and Fresh are laid out within the ring. The two men stand over the fallen wrestlers and stare blankly into the cameras.
Treats and Laurel enter the ring ready to attack these mysterious interlopers. A few seconds later the lights go out once again. When they come back on the two figures disappear from the ring and reappear at the top of the stage. Then, a third man appears through the curtain and stands behind the two figures. This man, unlike the other two, is very well known as SwitchBlade. The fans burst into cheers as SwitchBlade stands in front of the two figures. Treats and Laurel look at the stage. Treats in particular looks stunned.
Tony D: It’s SwitchBlade!
Kris Red: What the hell is HE doing here? He’s retired!
But before any of those questions can be answered, the lights go out a third time. When they return, the all three men have vanished. Meanwhile, Evangelista and Fresh are starting to get to their feet. Treats sees this coming, grabs Evangelista and sets her up for a Faygo Plunge.
Tony D: Treats is going for it!
Kris Red: Christ, with all the confusion I forgot the match was still happening!
But before he can hit it, Laurel runs over and clotheslines both Treats and herself over the top and to the floor. Fresh meanwhile gets up and sees Evangelista on her knees. He runs the ropes.
Fresh: I’M THE FOOT, B-*SMACK!*
Evangelista catches Fresh with a European uppercut to the jaw. She then grabs the stunned Fresh and delivers the headbreaker!
Tony D: Headbreaker to Fresh!
Evangelista covers Fresh and hooks the leg as a new referee runs down and slides into the ring.
Treats tries to run back in, but Laurel grabs his leg to hold him back.
Evangelista rolls out of the ring. She and Laurel scoop up their titles from the floor and hold them up.
Kris Red: NO! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!
Tony D: "KRIS!"
Randy Long: The winners of this match, and STILL Warped Tag Team Champions…THE U.K. DRAGONS!
Evangelista and Laurel celebrate on the stage while Treat freaks out in the ring with Fresh still out cold from the headbreaker.
Tony D: And The Dragons pull it off once again, but not without controversy.
Kris Red: Controversy doesn’t even BEGIN to describe it! If those two weirdos hadn’t shown up the way they did the AbominationZ would have been the champs!
Tony D: We’ve been left with a ton of questions, folks. Who are those two masked men? And WHY was SwitchBlade of all people with them? Why did they attack the Dragons and The Carnevil Connection!?
Kris Red: I’m getting to the bottom of this if it’s the last thing I do, Tony D. Cheaters never win, Dragons! You hear me?! And that goes double for the new guys!
Treats signals for a microphone as he checks on his brother. Randy Long obliges. Treats begins to talk holding his brothers head in his hands.
Mr. Rottentreats: "WHAT THE FUCK?! SWIIIIITCHBLAAADE! You screwed me out of the WARPED Title three years ago. And you screwed us tonight! As for you two slimy reptiles..."
Treats looks up at UK Dragons and waits for them to turn.
Mr. Rottentreats: "Isn't it ironic.. Everyone says WE'RE the bad guys.. Yet it was you two that needed help to win!"
Treats drops the mic and gently lies his brother down before rolling under the bottom rope. He drags Douglas Fresh out under the bottom rope and helps him to the back.
WARPEVision kicks over to show an office backstage. Crowbar is seen pacing back and forth angrily at what just happened. He continues grumbling to himself before stopping and turning his attention to someone just off screen.
Crowbar: “Did you know about this?!”
President Joey Matthew walks into the picture. He’s on his phone, but he says ‘I’ll call you back’ and puts it in his pocket.
Joey Matthew: “Look, I can’t tell you about EVERY surprise. Where would the fun be in that?”
Crowbar glares angrily at Joey
Crowbar: “I don’t give a fuck if Switchblade decided to come back with two weird looking cronies, what I care about is that match got completely FUCKED by them without lube! What kind of contest is that, how is that fair for CarnEvil Connection?! and to an extent The UK Dragons?!”
Joey Matthew: “I never said I knew they were going to interfere in the match. I just signed them today. You would’ve found out. But I guess now I can tell my assistant to forget about emailing you that information..right?”
Crowbar: “Yeah, I guess you can. So you signed them today and they decide that exact moment to appear? Bullshit. While I believe you didn’t know they would turn up, I don’t believe that was any kind of match. So, I think it’s fairly obvious what I’m going to do...right?”
Crowbar grins sarcastically.
Joey Matthew: “Punish Carnival Connection for jumping the champs before the bell? Oh wait - you didn’t know that’d happen either, right?”
Crowbar: “Actually I had absolutely no idea that was going to happen, I don’t control them...er...technically. I’ll have a word to them, but I’m booking The UK Dragons against CarnEvil Connection for the next damned show, for the titles, naturally.”
Joey Matthew: “So let me get this straight. You give me a bitch fit when those guys interfere in the match, but I had no clue it’d happen, but you’re in the clear? Shouldn’t I be yelling at you? No, cause it’s all ridiculous. You do what you have to do, but how many times do you plan on booking your chosen team against the UK Dragons until it’s obvious that they can’t beat them?”
Crowbar: “Honestly? Last chance. Extenuating circumstances for the rematch. Had they lost clean that would be that, they didn’t, and while they went a bit overkill at the start, even you have to admit it was a slightly bollocksed up match.”
Joey Matthew: “Didn’t they lose cleanly TWICE last week?”
Crowbar scratches the back of his head.
Crowbar: “I...don’t know what you’re talking about”
Joey Matthew: “I have business to take care of. Stay out of trouble, Crowbar.”
Satisfied with trumping Crowbar, Joey Matthew takes his phone out of his pocket and walks away, leaving Crowbar behind. Crowbar mumbles to himself “Damn...you’re lucky you...” before noticing the camera still rolling and walking out of frame.
The scene fades back to ringside.
Kris Red: "Sounds like Joey Matthew is up to no good!"
Tony D: "I think it's the other way around, with Crowbar. A rematch? Carnival Connection have lost to the UK Dragons twice now, and been pinned three times!"
Kris Red: "But only one of those pins count, Tony D. The first one was a fluke, and the last one was due to interference! Write it down!"
Tony D: "How about we just move on? Okay.. Up next, the Evolution Championship is on the line. Leon Stone is the brand newchamp, knocking off Anton Chase at WARPED73 at the Echoplex in Los Angeles. Let's look back at some Reactions from Stone, and his opponents for this upcoming match!"
We're taken to a video of more "Reactions" from WARPED73...
The camera fades back to ringside.
Tony D: "A ton of confidence from all three of the competitors, and a lot of excitement from Leon Stone. Let's see how things work for all of them up next!"
The camera fades to Randy Long in the middle of the ring with a mic in hand.
Randy Long: "The following contest is a three way elimination match for the Evolution Championship! Introducing first.. From Las Vegas, Nevada, weighing in at 115 pounds - The First Lady of Wrestling, Kandi Washington!"
"Get Naked" by Method of Mayhem ft. Lil Kim hits the PA System as the fans raise to their feet booing and chants of "whore" begin to fill the arena. When pink and purple lights start to flash through the crowd, the velvet entrance curtains wiggle open as smoke starts to blow out from the top of the ramp as Kandi Washington appears from behind the curtains.
Tony D: "There she is, who just after a handful of matches is now finding herself in an opportunity at winning the Evolution Championship."
Kris Red: "You say that with such distain, Tony D. What do you have against Kandi?"
Tony D: "Well, for one, she's won all of her matches with the help of her bodyguards, or by not doing a damn thing at all and stealing the win. There's that."
Kris Red: "Well as you can see she has no bodyguards tonight. So, what now?"
Tony D: "That's all thanks to the returning President, Joey Matthew. She does look lonely without them."
She struts up the three steel steps as she makes her way alongside the ring apron. She pauses in the middle on the outside apron, staring back at the fans.. She turns back to the ropes and lowers herself under the second rope and steps over the first rope. She stands back up and struts to the middle of the ring, raising her arms above her head as she evilly smirks at the booing crowd as she walks across the ring to the corner. She turns around in the corner and leans against the turnbuckle as she lifts her foot up on the bottom turnbuckle pad. Her theme starts to fade, the lights die down, and her video fades from the screen to blackness. All that can be heard now are the fans boos.
Randy Long: "And her opponents - first: from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 315 pounds - "The Canadian Mad Man" Hugo Strange!" As the opening rift to Rage against the machines Maggies Farm rips thought the arena the lights go dark expext for a flashing red and blue lights. Hugo steps from behind the curtain and just stares at the ring shaking both fists.
Tony D: "New music and all, there's Hugo Strange."
Suddenly, his music stops and is replaced by "I Touch Myself" by The Divinyls! Hugo starts looking around confused and angry, yelling asking where the hell his music went.
Kris Red: "Uhh.."
Tony D: "I'm going to guess The AbominationZ did that, again.."
Hugo walks back into the entrance before coming back out after being told to just go. He heads down to the ring and simply climbs in, annoyed, while Kandi Washington just stands and laughs.
Randy Long: "And their opponent - from Dayton, Ohio, weighing in at 230 pounds, he is the WARPED Wrestling Evolution Champion - Leon Stone!"
Dream on by Aerosmith plays on the speakers Leon Stone walks out before his music also cuts off being replaced by "It's Raining Men" by The Weather Girls. Leon also gets an angry look on his face before shrugging and just walking down to the ring, obviously focused on the match and not what music is playing.
Kris Red: *laughing* "This is too funny!"
Tony D: "This is a title match. I don't find it very funny that Crowbar and his cronies are modifying the music."
Suddenly, Kandi Washington attacks Leon Stone with a clothesline that sends him over the top rope and down to the floor! The referee quickly calls for the bell to kick this match off as Kandi heads to the ringside area. She brings Leon up to his feet and slams his face off of the barricade!
Tony D: "Kandi Washington got the jump on Leon Stone before the bell could even sound!"
Kris Red: "She's looking to make her mark, that's for sure!"
Hugo Strange makes his way to ringside but Kandi charges and drives him back-first into the barricade!
Leon Stone pulls Kandi Washington away from Hugo and delivers a knife edge chop to her chest and the fans go WOOOOOOOOO! He delivers another chop and another and another, and she grabs ahold of her chest and uses the barricade to hold herself up. Stone grabs Washington by the head and leads her to the ring, pushing her in under the ropes. Stone slides in and Kandi starts crawling away. She turns around and looks up at Stone, pleading for him to back off, but Stone grabs a head full of hair and brings her to her feet as she shrieks out. The referee reads Stone the riot act for grabbing the hair! Stone sends Washington into the ropes, but Washington comes back with a clothesline!
Tony D: "What a clothesline from Kandi Washington!"
Hugo Strange is back in the ring now and he grabs Washington from behind and nails her with a Canadian Backbreaker! He taunts to the crowd and gets a mixed reaction, but they immediately cheer when Leon Stone grabs him around the neck and drops down with an Inverted headlock backbreaker!
Kris Red: "Leon Stone with an impactful move!"
Tony D: "Leon only gets a one count out of it though."
Stone brings Strange to his feet and flings him through the ropes, looking for the rope-hung DDT, but Kandi Washington bashes into both of them, sending Strange to the outside and Stone out on the apron. Kandi grabs a head full of hair and pulls Stone's neck over the top rope, trying to choke the life out of him. The referee starts a 5 count! 1! 2! 3! 4! and she releases the hold. Washington then slingshots Stone into the ring and drops down for a cover..
Hugo Strange gets in the ring and pulls Kandi to her feet and boots her in the gut, then delivers a right hand and she staggers back into the ropes and forward into a bear hug from Hugo!
Kris Red: "That monster is going to squeeze the life of out Kandi!"
Kandi screams out as the referee asks if she wants to give up. She shakes her head NO and starts biting Hugo on his forehead! He lets out a grunt and hurls Kandi into the turnbuckle, her neck and back snapping against it.
Kris Red: "Oh come on!"
Hugo grabs at his forehead and calls Kandi a BITCH as he realizes he's now bleeding. He turns to Stone, who's starting to get up to his feet. Strange sends Stone across the ring and off the ropes, right back toward him and into a big boot! Strange drops into the cover..
Strange stands up and kicks Stone in the ribs, before picking him up and hitting a bodyslam. He covers..
Strange brings Stone to his feet and shoves him into the corner and delivers a chop to the chest. Stone comes right back out with chops and punches of his own. Strange kicks Stone in the knee, but he’s attacked from behind by Washington. Washington, with an irish whip, sends Strange across the ring into the turnbuckle. She then sends Leon Stone right into the midsection of Hugo Strange and then grabs a head full of hair and pulls Stone down to the mat. Strange drops to the mat and Kandi charges in with the Bronco Buster!
Kris Red: "FACE FULL OF STUFF! FACE FULL OF STUFF!"
She pulls Strange away from the corner and hooks the leg..
She slaps the mat, and pulls him up to his feet. She hits the ropes and comes back with a running bulldog that plants him face-first to the mat. Cover..
Kandi slaps the mat out of frustration and looks around the ring for her bodyguards, but then realizes that neither of them are there.
Tony D: "Kandi seems a little lonely out there without Drake Knight or Ice."
Strange rolls back to the outside and Stone comes in after Washington.
Kris Red: "They aren't even in AbominationZ! Why did Joey ban them!?"
Tony D: "How do you know they aren't? They're associated with Kandi.. surely there's some association with the group."
Kandi fights off Leon with repeated right hands, backing him into the corner. She then brings her boot up and chokes him with it as the ref counts 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. and she releases. Washington rips at Stone’s eyebrows!
Tony D: "Kandi is scandalous!"
She runs to the opposite corner, then charges back and handsprings into a back elbow!
Kris Red: "Ouch!"
Stone staggers out of the corner and Washington hits a Snap DDT! She covers, but Strange grabs her feet and pulls her to the floor. He slides in and covers..
Tony D: "Hugo Strange with a two count on Leon Stone!"
Kris Red: "Poor Kandi!"
Strange pulls the Evolution Champion to his feet and delivers a few stiff punches, and on the third, Stone drops to the mat, but gets back up and right into a kick to the gut, followed by a Spinning Double Hammer fist!
Tony D: "Vortex Hammer! The Evolution Champion is in trouble!"
Stone drops to the mat and Strange starts to set up for the Stretch Muffler submission but Stone is quick to fight out of it and punches Strange enough to get him away. Stone up, and Strange kicks at him for a gut shot, but Stone grabs the leg and and pushes it back down, then nails Strange with a quick Muy Thai kick to the side of the head!
Tony D: "What a kick!"
Washington slips into the ring and Stone lays her out with the same kick!
Kris Red: "Thanks for coming, Kandi."
Stone covers Washington..
He then covers Strange..
Tony D: "Good strategy for the champ. The sooner he can eliminate one of them, the easier it will be to concentrate with just one opponent."
Stone pulls Strange up, but Strange escapes his grasp and delivers a chop to the chest, followed by another, and another, but Stone stays on his feet. Stone starts delivering his own chops! The two men trade chops in the middle of the ring, and Washington gets in between both men, and she pays the price,catching chops from both Strange and Stone and she drops to the mat. Stone then leaps up and hits a big dropkick on Strange!
Tony D: "Nice hangtime on that dropkick!"
Washington gets to her feet, and Stone pulls her in and drops her with an Inverted Headlock Backbreaker! Strange is up, and Stone turns his attention to him and nails him with a European Uppercut that backs him into the corner. Stone backs away from the corner and charges in with the Corner Spear!
Tony D: "Throwing Stones!"
Stone backs up, waiting for Strange to come his way, and he does. Stone lifts him up in a firemans carry, setting up for the Go To Sleep, but Kandi pulls Strange by the leg off of the shoulders.
Stone: "The fuck?"
Stone then boots Washington in the gut and sends her into the ropes, and on the rebound he slams her to the mat! Cover..
Strange now drops an elbow but Stone moves and he lands on Washington! Stone gets up and stalks Strange as he gets up, and Stone spins him around and brings him onto his shoulders... Go To Sleep! Knee to the face! Strange drops to the mat.
Tony D: "Shifting Sands connects!"
Stone drops down into the cover, hooking the leg!!
KICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK TO THE FACE~!
Tony D: "Whoa!! The Final Lick!"
Kandi Washington delivers a huge punt kick to the face of Leon Stone, and she drops down to make the pin..
Tony D: "Stone kicked out!!!"
Kris Red: "Oh my goodness!"
Washington is shocked! The referee insists it was only a two count! She then covers Hugo Strange..
She nearly pulls her hair out out of frustration.
Tony D: "Kandi is livid!"
She heads up to the top turnbuckle now, while Leon Stone slowly gets to his feet, grabbing the side of his face. She launches herself off with a diving frankensteiner, and takes Stone down! She jumps on top of him with a cover..
Wasting no time, Washington pulls Stone up (by his hair) and whips him into the corner. She charges with a handspring back elbow to the face, and Stone staggers away. She then charges him and spears him to the mat, staying on him and pounding his head to the mat!!
Tony D: "Catfight!!"
Kris Red: "Sort of.."
Hugo Strange breaks it up with a boot to Kandi's back. He pulls her up and applies the Full Nelson, and lifts her up and slams her to the mat with FORCE!
Kris Red: "Moose Bombbbbbbbuhhh!"
Stone then brings Strange up on his shoulders in a Firemans carry, but Strange slips out behind him, and lifts Stone up in an inverted firemans carry! He then brings him down onto his neck with the Burning Hammer!
Tony D: "The Moose Killer!"
Kris Red: "More like the Stone Killer!"
Strange covers, hooking both legs!
Kris Red: "Whoa! Three!!"
Tony D: "Leon Stone just got eliminated!"
The fans are in shock!
Tony D: "This means we'll definitely have a new Evolution Champion tonight."
Kris Red: "I feel bad for Leon. He worked so hard! He finally got his own banner on the website with the title! His partner is a wreck! His sister has the chicken pox! And now Leon is title-less!"
Hugo Strange gets to his feet, a smile on his face. He motions for Kandi Washington to bring it on. She is pushing herself up on the mat, facing away from Strange, who pretends to hump her from behind while her ass is in the air. The fans laugh and she gets up and spins around and catches him. She pushes him, and Strange shrugs and slaps her across the fucking face! She drops to the mat and Strange wastes no time bringing her back up!
Kris Red: "Holy shit!"
The fans chant "YOU GOT BITCH SLAPPED!" repeatedly as Strange brings Washington onto his shoulders in an Inverted Firemans Carry, and he flips her off for the Burning Hammer but she flips over and lands on her feet! She then spots that the ref is moving Leon Stone out of the ring and she kicks Strange in the balls!!
Tony D: "Low blow! That's illegal!"
Kris Red: "What the ref didn't see doesn't hurt anyone, well, except Strange!"
Strange then reaches down his pants and pulls out a cup! Kandi's jaw drops! He laughs and cracks it over her head! She staggers back into the corner and Strange disposes of it just in time for the ref to turn around.
Tony D: "He had a cup!"
Kris Red: "Perfect planning from Hugo Strange! For a rookie, he's a smart man!"
Hugo charges in with a Running Foot Wash, but Kandi escapes and Hugo's leg gets caught up on the top rope and he gets hung up. Kandi then kicks the rope and it launches up into the groin of Hugo!!
Kris Red: "Oh ouch! No cup that time!"
Washington then pulls Strange off the ropes and into a schoolboy pin..
Strange kicks out, and both get up and Kandi goes after Hugo with a clothesline but Hugo ducks and she takes out the referee!!
Tony D: "Oh no! Ref down!"
Hugo then lifts her onto his shoulders in an inverted Firemans Carry, and drops her on her head with the Moose Killer! He covers... and the fans count along .... 1.... 2..... 3.... 4....
Tony D: "We need another referee!"
As if on cue, another referee comes running down the aisle. He slides into the ring and Hugo stays on Kandi and the ref counts..
Kris Red: "So close!"
The new referee checks on the original referee. Hugo Strange tells the new ref that he had that won!! Hugo threatens to punch the referee and the referee cowers down out of the ring. Hugo grabs the original ref by the collar and drags him over to Kandi. Hugo covers and grabs the referee's hand and counts for him..
Tony D: "Hey wait, you can't do that!"
Kandi kicks out!
The new ref tells Hugo to knock that off and not to put his hands on an official! Hugo gets up in his face, and Kandi slowly starts getting up to her feet. Hugo turns around and Kandi goes for a clothesline and Hugo ducks. Kandi nearly decapitates the new ref, but Hugo grabs her and brings her down into a backslide..
Tony D: "So many near-falls!"
Both get to their feet and Kandi goes for a chop to the chest, but Hugo ducks it. He lifts her onto his shoulders but she escapes. She goes for a belly to back suplex but Hugo elbows out. Hugo runs to the ropes on one end, and Kandi hits the ropes on the other, and she leaps up and takes Hugo down with a Crossbody Block! She covers..
The new ref holds up TWO fingers! The crowd chants out "Let's Go Hugo!"! The original ref starts to come to.
Tony D: "These fans seem to be backing Hugo now. Nobody's a fan of Kandi, that's for sure."
Kris Red: "Hey, speak for yourself! She provides strippers. That's a good egg if you ask me."
Kandi slaps the mat out of frustration. She brings Hugo up and hits a Hair-mare, and kicks him in the chest, laying him out on the mat. She then sways her hips back and forth as she goes to his feet. She grabs both legs..
Tony D: "What's she got in mind here?"
Hugo then reaches up and pulls her forward, into a small package.. Both referees drop down into the pin..
Kris Red: "It's OVA!"
The referees call for the bell and it sounds.
Randy Long: "Here is your winner and newwwwwwwww Evolution Champion - Hugo Straaaaaaaange!"
The fans cheer!!
Tony D: "Hugo Strange has done it! New Evolution Champion!"
The original referee waves his arms around, running to the ropes to speak to Randy Long. They speak, and Randy brings the microphone up.
Randy Long: "I've just been instructed that the last announcement was false. Your winner and NEW EVOLUTION CHAMPION - KANDI WASHINGTON!"
The fans erupt in boos!
Kris Red: "What is going on?!"
The new referee waves his arms and talks to the original referee, before going to Randy Long.
Randy Long: "Ladie.. uh.. "
The original referee and the new referee now argue. Both Kandi and Hugo get to their feet. The original referee grabs the Evolution Title and hands it to Kandi Washington and raises her arm. The new referee takes the Evolution Title and hands it to Hugo Strange and raises his arm!
Kris Red: "I'm confused! Send strippers!"
A third referee runs down to the ring and talks to both of them.
Tony D: "Well, there's the senior official.. maybe he can iron this out?"
Hugo and Kandi start a tug of war for the title. The senior official heads over to Randy Long and gives him the final word.
Randy Long: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm told that there has been a decision between the officials - Due to both competitor's shoulders being on the mat during the pinfall, your winner, and CO-Evolution Champions - Kandi Washington and Hugo Strange!"
The fans are shocked!
Tony D: "What!"
A "Bulllllllshit! Bullllllshit!" chant breaks out.
Kris Red: "I agree with the fans! What is going on!"
With each person holding onto the Evolution Title at one end, Hugo Strange and Kandi Washington continue to bicker and argue with the referees. They throw their arms up and all leave the ring. Hugo yanks the title his way, and Kandi yanks it her way. Hugo yanks it back his way even harder and jerks Kandi forward, but she grabs onto it with both hands and pulls, but he stands his ground, and suddenly boots her in the gut and pulls her in between his legs and hits the Package Piledriver on her!
Tony D: "STD! STD~!"
Hugo picks the Evolution Championship up and yells for a microphone. Randy Long hands him one through the ropes from the ringside area and he walks to the middle of the ring. With sweat running down his face and out of breath Hugo speaks.
Hugo: "You people can cheer or boo all you want because I don't give a damn what you all think. I told you times were going to change and they have just started. What I have here is the Evolution Title and well it has never really changed in reality it has always been a second place door prize. Well after tonight i am going to make it evolve from this point on the Evolution title will be contested under F'n'X rules! you want a shot you better have the balls to step up to me and my style. You better be able to evolve or die; see to many people have said how the are going to evolve this title and they never. Well tonight I am changing it! You want this title be ready to bleed for it, you want a shot there will be pain in it for you. I have busted my ass to get here I have endured so much pain and if you want my title you have to suffer what I have suffered to get it. And I will SURE AS HELL not be sharing it with HER! Remember the golden rule he who has the gold makes the rules and I have the mother fucking gold and I just made the rule.
Hugo drops the mic and rolls out of the ring.
Suddenly, “Afraid of Me” by Twiztid hits the arena and Crowbar steps out onto the entrance. The crowd boo him as he walks around, microphone in hand. He signals for the music to stop before turning his attention to Hugo and raising the microphone to his mouth.
Crowbar: “Hugo, firstly, congratulations on your win, and I genuinely mean that.”
The crowd start to quiet down a bit.
Crowbar: “Under normal circumstances, I’d be out here with 3 other guys for what you did to Kandi, however, I’m not, I’m here not as an AbominationZ member, but as General Manager and Competitor.”
Crowbar pauses for a moment and looks at Hugo, a slight smile on his face.
Crowbar: “Hugo, when we had our Tic Tac Torture match, you showed me you were indeed FnX material through and through, so, yes. While you are Co-holder of the Evolution Title it WILL be contested under FnX rules!”
The crowd start cheering..the first for Crowbar in a while.
Crowbar: “Which brings me to the other reason I’m out here. You ARE Co-holder of that belt, you and Kandi Washington, are infact, BOTH Evolution Champion and so you WILL defend the title as just that. No arguments, no nothing, that is how it stands, thats how the cards were laid out, so while I wholeheartedly approve of FnX Evolution Championship matches, I’m also telling you from a management standpoint that you WILL share that title, and that, as they say, is that. Congratulations again!”
Crowbar drops his hand to his side, turning around and walking back through the entrance. Hugo Strange shakes his head as he puts the Evolution Title over his shoulder. He looks back at Kandi Washington, who is still laid out in the ring. Hugo heads up the aisle as the camera fades back to Kris and Tony.
Tony D: "Can you believe it? That's history making here in WARPED! For the first time ever, we have co-Evolution Champions!"
Kris Red: "Kandi is going to wake up from that STD and realize that she has to share the title with HUGO! That's not going to be great."
Tony D: "No kidding. Fans, it's about that time! The World Championship is on the line next. Let's take you to a couple clips from promos this past week from Alexander StarrZoe, and World Champion William Wallace."
Kris Red: "That's Macgregor, Tony D. William Macgregor. Watch."
Starr Promo Clip: Starr sighs and stands, lighting a second cigarette and throwing the lighter on the bed; “The rumor mills are turning, people are talking, grainy footage has already hit YouTube, and people are starting to become more and more aware of the situation. I’m hearing from all angles now that you may have found out the truth William, so before you get to blow the whistle on this one, I’m going to do it for you. I’m the one that gutted you with the light tube in Vegas. There’s no better way to send a message than to beat someone til they stop breathing. But I’m not a murder, it wasn’t my intention to have you die on the streets, but like the bitch you are, you wouldn’t trying to get away, you wouldn’t just take the beating you had coming to you, and you caused me to slip, the thing ended up between your rib cage. But honestly, I wouldn’t take it back even if I could. It taught you a valuable lesson; I’m not fucking around. That’s how serious I am about this Will; WARPED may be a majority actors and script, but I’m still here, truly fighting and bleeding and I’ll be damned if one more motherfucker tries to make a name off of me without risking his life for that privilege.”
William Wallace/Macgregor Promo Clip:
Wallace picks up the title belt from the sofa and hold it up to the camera.
Wallace: You want it that bad it’s yours, this thing isn’t worth ma life, this job isn’t worth ma life.
Wallace throws the title towards the camera
Wallace: A have spent ma life tryin to make it in this business, to become the World Champion, a have done that. A am good at what a do, a have proved that over the last year. A have been used as the comedy character, a have been the joke, but no more. No more bullshit about shagging sheep, no more fuckin around. No more “Am your worst nightmare”
Wallace grabs his t-shirt around the collar and rips it right down the middle removing it from his body and exposing the large scar on his stomach. Wallace rolls the remains of the t-shirt up and throws it at the camera. Wallace then reaches inside is sporran and brings out a pair of scissors.
Wallace: No more long ginger hair
Wallace grabs his hair just above where he tied it up earlier and cuts. He holds the fuzzy mess of orange hair up and throws that at the camera
Wallace: No more over grown beard
Wallace grabs a chunk of his beard just under his chin and again cuts throwing it at the camera.
Wallace: No more kilt and sporran
Wallace unbuckles the belt as the kilt and sporran hit the ground. Wallace is now standing in front of the camera with his hair half cut out, a hand full out of his beard and wearing nothing more than a pair of black wrestling trunks and his black wrestling boots.
Wallace: There will be no more Flower of Scotland as a walk out into that arena, because there is no more gimmicks. You want to blur the lines of wrestling and reality, well here it is. William Wallace the wrestler will not be in New York, William Macgregor the person will. You want to fuck with my life, with my wellbeing bring it on. You low life scum think its ok to stab a man, a think it is ok to take the law into ma own hands. A will come and get every single one of you, and a will make you pay. You are all goin to be prayin to be arrested because a grantee the thought of being sodomized will be a lot more pleasant than what a am goin to put you throw.
Wallace turns and walks towards the door, grabbing his jacket off a coat hook next to the door and putting it on and picking up his equipment back from the ground as he walks. As the door closes behind him the camera looks around the room showing the cut off hair, and clothing lying around before zooming in on the WARPED World Championship as the scene fades out.
The camera fades back to ringside with Tony D and Kris Red.
Tony D: "Well it'd appear Wallace, or Macgregor, is ready to fight! Starr had plenty to say in his promo in addition to what you all saw, and I must say - I am disgusted and offended at many of the things he said and suggested."
Kris Red: "So much for being impartial, eh Tony D?"
The scene fades..
The camera fades back to ringside.
Tony D: "I imagine we've got ourselves quite the fight about to happen tonight."
Randy Long is in the ring ready to announce the final match-up! The senior official has the World Title in his hands.
Randy Long: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the WARPED Wrestling WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!"
Big pop from the fans at Hammerstein Ballroom!"
Randy Long: "Introducing first - the challenger.."
The houselights in the small venue dim as spotlights twirl around the venue, focusing on the ring and the small entrance ramp. Multicolored orbs dance around the canvas as "Who Shot Ya?" by the Notorious B.I.G. begins to blast through the public announce system while the top of the metal ramp fills with smoke.
Randy Long: "From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 237 pounds - Alexander STARRZooooooe!"
Alexander StarrZoë emerges from the smoke to the boos and jeers of the fans. Alex struts down the ramp, ignoring people booing and shouting at him, rolls into the ring and climbs the top turnbuckle, staring into the people, and screams at them; "shut the hell up you worthless nobodies!" Hopping into the ring, Starr climbs up on the second rope, facing the fans, and spits toward the crowd as they boo him loudly.
Randy Long: "And his opponent.."
No music hits, but the crowd erupt with cheers as William Wallace appears through the curtain, but he isn't wearing a "Your Worst Nightmare" t-shirt, nor is he wearing his kilt, and he doesn't even have the WARPED World Title around his waist.
Randy Long: "From Glasgow, Scotland, weighing in at 254 pounds, he is the reigning and defending WARPED Wrestling WORLD CHAMPION - William ... Wallace!"
He is lit up by one single spot light as he confidently makes his way to the ring absorbing the cheers from the WARPED fans before rolling under the bottom rope. As Wallace gets back to his feet, he looks to be all business.
Tony D: "No Flower of Scotland, no kilt, no showboating. This is a World Champion that means business."
Kris Red: "These fans blew the roof off of the Hammerstein Ballroom when he came out, Tony D!"
Tony D: "That they did. This is the third meeting from both men. Starr's year-long winning streak was ended by Wallace at WARPED 50 - Wallace then defeated Starr again at Live From Death's Door in a Buried Alive Match - and now, at the Third Anniversary Show, it's the Third time these two every faced off."
Kris Red: "It's the Thirdtacular, Tony D! Starr represents The AbominationZ, and William Wallace Macgregor whatever represents WARPED! That's a lot of W's, Tony D.."
The referee holds the World Title in his hands. He shows it to both men. He then raises the title high as the New York audience applauds out of respect for the championship.
Tony D: "Personally, I'm not even sure what we call William Wallace in this match. PKA called him Willie. Willie called himself William Macgregor. Randy Long said Wallace and didn't get slapped."
Kris Red: "I'd say we call him Wet Willie, but now isn't the time for childish jokes. Nope..."
Tony D: "Willie it is. Looks like the main event of WARPED34 is about to kick off. Fans, we are live on i-Pay Per View! Or, if you're watching later on DVD, we thank you all for taking the time to catch WARPED Wrestling!"
The bell sounds and the two immediately go at it, trading fierce right hands! William Wallace/Macgregor .. Willie, delivers a heavy headbutt that sends Starr crashing to the outside and onto the announce table.
Tony D: "Whoa, that headbutt knocked .. OH! Tony D, move.."
Both men get up and move as Starr is trying to find his way off the table.
Kris Red: "Yeah, right onto that table."
William comes out of the ring and sends Starr into the barricade! The fans cheer "Let's Go Wallace!" as he grabs a chair and puts it in the corner of the barricade. He puts Starr onto the chair and backs up, clapping his hands and the fans clap along. He then charges in and delivers a huge kick to the face! Starr drops off the chair and William pumps his fists as they go insane for him!
Kris Red: "He nearly took Starr's head off!"
The referee shouts out for them to bring it into the ring!
Tony D: "The senior official is going to have his hands full on this one, I can already tell."
William whips Starr into the barricade again and his back hits hard! The World Champion turns his back and walks away, slapping hands of fans as he gets a distance away from Starr. Macgregor now turns and charges at Starr, but Starr flapjacks him down onto the barricade chest-first! Starr then grabs Wallace by the tights and pulls him backward, right into the barricade!
Kris Red: "Oooh!! Right into that barricade!"
Willie grabs at his back. Starr takes him around the ring and throws him into the barricade and his back crashes into it! He staggers forward, and Starr slams him down to the floor. Starr rips off the portion of the sheet metal barricade covers with the WARPED logo on them. He lays them across the champ before heading up to the apron and leaping off with a bodysplash! He stands up, clutching his midsection, and the referee pleads for Starr to take it in the ring. Starr ignores him as he takes the piece off of William and throws it away.
Tony D: "Quite honestly the referee is going to have to let this one slide. This is a blood feud and it cannot end in a disqualification or count out."
Kris Red: "Blood feud is right. Starr nearly killed Wall .. Macgregor! Albeit on accident, but it almost happened."
He sends William back into the ring and he immediately runs to the ropes, bounces, rolls and flips, but Wallace gets his knees up and ruins the P3!
Tony D: "Philly's Finest Flyer just took a crash landing."
Starr grabs at his back as Willie gets to his feet.. Macgregor grabs him from behind for a German and executes it, but Starr lands on his feet. He grabs Wallace by the head and drops him with an Inverted DDT.
Kris Red: "The Scottish Suplex just got out-scots..ted.. or something. Damnit."
Tony D: "Nice try."
William rolls to the outside and Starr follows. The referee throws up his arms.
Kris Red: "The poor referee is having a difficult night."
Starr chases after William, and grabs him at the shoulder. Willie spins around and drives Starr into the barricade! He then pulls him away from the barricade and lifts him onto his shoulder. He takes a few steps back and charges forward, hitting a running powerslam right onto that barricade cover from earlier! Starr's grabs at his lower back.
Tony D: "Starr's face shows the pain he's dealing with right now!"
Kris Red: "A lot of the offense from Willie tonight has been to the back of StarrZoe. If he keeps that up, Starr's going to be paralyzed!"
Wallace picks Starr up and brings him around toward Tony D and Kris Red.
Tony D: "Oh boy, here they come."
He slams Starr's head off of the announce table, and then asks if he wants more? He slams his head off of the apron! Willie climbs up on the apron and pulls Alexander StarrZoe up with him. Starr delivers a right hand, and William responds with one of his own. Starr fights back with another, and Wallace does the same. Starr pokes Willie in the eye and wraps his arms around him..
Tony D: "Could we see the Moonsault Belly-to-Belly Suplex?!"
No! Wallace fights out with a heavy headbutt and William hits a SPINE BUSTER on the apron!
Tony D: "Spinebuster!!"
Kris Red: "That back of Starr has to be killing him! That apron is NOT a spot you want to land on like that."
Wallace brings the challenger up to his feet, wasting no time, and lays Starr across the announce table.
Tony D: "William is putting Starr on our table!"
Kris Red: "We'd better get up and move again."
Tony D and Kris Red evacuate. Wallace then climbs up on the ring apron. The referee yells at Wallace to NOT use the table! Wallace ignores him and leaps off with a leg drop, putting Starr through the table!
Tony D: "Leg drop off the apron THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!"
Kris Red: "Oh come on, ref! Last I checked, this isn't a No DQ match."
The referee pleads for Wallace to bring it back into the ring and tells him he doesn't want to have to end it on a DQ. Wallace shouts 'WELL THEN DON'T!" and brings Starr to his feet and rolls him into the ring. William follows in and makes a cover.. The referee slides into the ring..
Kick out. Willie shoots the referee a look for his delay in counting. William heads to the outside, grabbing a steel chair. Wallace slides the chair into the ring, then grabs another, sliding that one in too. Wallace brings four chairs into the ring. The referee tells William to stop!!!
Tony D: "What has gotten into our World Champion?!"
Willie gets into the ring and, chair in hand, prepares for a chairshot on Starr, but the referee pulls the chair out of his hands!
Tony D: "The referee taking charge now.. OH!"
Starr then lifts Wallace into a firemans carry and drops him with a TKO!
Kris Red: "TKO drops Willie to the mat!"
Starr makes the cover, as the ref tosses the chair over the ropes. He slides into the count..
Tony D: "William Wallace with a fast kick out there!"
The referee kicks the other chairs out of the way, while Starr climbs to the top. Willie gets to his feet and Starr leaps off with a Top Rope Clothesline! He rolls Wallace over and covers..
Tony D: "Another one count for StarrZoe, who is looking to regain the title that he lost one year ago today!"
Starr grabs one of the chairs and puts it on top of Wallace. The referee tells him to knock it off, but Starr ignores him and grabs the other two chairs and puts them on top. He shrugs and tells the ref 'Make me stop" as he climbs to the top again.
Tony D: "These two are really testing the referee tonight."
Kris Red: "I say let them fight."
Tony D: "Just a few minutes ago you were yelling at the referee for allowing chairs and now you're all for it?"
Kris Red: "I have no idea what you're talking about."
The referee gets in Starr's path, waving his arms and telling him to get down! Starr shouts "MOVE!" and the referee shakes his head. He starts pulling the chairs off of Wallace and tossing them out of the ring. Starr is pissed. William then gets up, and bumps the ropes, causing Starr to get crotched on the top! William climbs up, hooking the arm for a superplex. He lifts him up but then drops him on his shoulder and leaps off with a powerslam from the top!
Tony D: "The Sinister Urge from the top rope!"
Kris Red: "Not good!"
Wallace hooks the leg..
Tony D: "There's still life in Starr after that? I would say I'm shocked, but I've seen him fight through a ton of beatings in the past."
William stomps away at Starr as Starr tries to roll out of the way. He reaches the ropes and Wallace continues to stomp, but the referee gets inbetween him and his downed opponent.
Kris Red: "Come on ref! He's in the ropes!"
William brings StarrZoe to his feet and lifts him onto the top buckle. William heads up after Starr, but Starr bites at William’s face!
Kris Red: "What a clever move!"
Tony D: "Clever?! That's cheating!"
Starr grabs Wallace around the head and flips forward, dropping him on his head on the mat!
Tony D: ""Assault Jawn!"
Kris Red: "Taking a page out of PKA's book it'd seem!"
Tony D: "This has to be it if he can just make the cover.."
Following the Flipping DDT from the top buckle, Starr covers William..
The fans erupt in cheers! They can't believe he kicked out! Starr can't either!
"TWO!" shouts the referee.
Tony D: "Amazing. Just amazing!"
Starr pulls Wallace up, but the resistance from the dead weight is making it difficult. Starr lifts Wallace up on his shoulders, but Wallace slips out from behind and connects with a German(Scottish) Suplex!
Tony D: "Where did he get the strength to do that?!"
Kris Red: "He's the World Champ! He's capable of a ton of things, but I wouldn't trust him as my barber. Just look at him!"
Willie crawls toward Starr and lays on top of him..
Foot on the rope!
Starr gets his foot on the bottom rope just in time, and Wallace rolls onto his back, looking up at the lights. He rolls over onto all fours and pushes himself up. He brings Starr up, and Starr spits in William's face!
Tony D: "What a sign of pure disrespect."
Wallace now traps Starr by the arms and repeatedly headbutts him over and over and over and over and over again!!!
Tony D: "There's a little payback!!"
Kris Red: "Trapping headbutts! He's trapped! Help him!!"
The crowd counts along every headbutt.. 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10!! and Starr collapses to the mat. Wallace staggers back into the corner and grabs onto the top ropes to keep himself up. The camera zooms in on Starr's face and he is busted wide open!
Kris Red: "Starr is seeing red!"
Tony D: "William even has some of Starr's blood on HIS forehead!"
Wallace falls forward and onto his knees, and covers Starr..
Tony D: "There's still life in Starr!"
Kris Red: "William practically collapsed on him. How much life is left in him?!"
William sits up on his knees, looking down at Starr. He pulls back with his fist and hammers away with a right hand to the face. He pulls Starr's head up and delivers another right hand. He smiles and looks out at the fans as they cheer him on. He gets up to his feet and puts Starr between his legs, setting up for the Sitout Powerbomb aka Freedom Drop. Starr suddenly backdrops Wallace to the mat, and drops to one knee. He looks back, his jaw dropped.
Tony D: "He countered it!"
Kris Red: "Time to capitalize!"
Starr gets up, runs to the ropes, bounces off, rolls and flips, hitting the senton!
Tony D: "Philly's Finest Flyer!"
The fans cheer!
Tony D: "A two count! These two continue to go back and forth counting every move!"
Kris Red: "Tony D! Look!..."
A women of caramel complexion is now standing on the ring apron. She runs her fingers through her long brunette hair as the audience being to slowly buzz. The referee catches A glimpse and then gestures in a confused manner. He asked "What are you doing?" as she just smiles in a suggestive manner with her teeth gripping her index finger.
Kris Red: " TONY!...THAT'S DION!! DION FROM HSW!! WE HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN YEARS!! JESUS WHY DOES SHE HAVE CLOTHES ON!?"
Tony D: "Kris why is Dion here..........Oh no..."
A crack is heard throughout the arena. The camera cuts to a wider view where we can now see Starrzoe has been laid out in the middle of the ring. A man of 5'8 stature stands in the ring with a steel chair in hand. The referee hears the "THUD" and attempts to turn around but before he can Dion plants a serve lip lock on him. The crowd goes into a frenzy over the wildly passionate kiss.
Kris Red: "TONY!! DO YOU SEE HIM! THAT'S RASHAWN TITAN ALSO OF HEADSTRONG! THEY ARE AT THE WRONG ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL!! DION WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? REFEREE'S ARE FILTHY YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE HE'S BEEN!!"
William Wallace gets to his feet and looks around at what just transpired and then focuses in on RaShawn TiTan. In the blink of an eye RaShawn cracks the steel chair across the back of the referee also. He drops instantly as Dion wipes her mouth while smirking as she surveys the damage already caused. RaShawn turns around and ends up face to face with William Wallace as the crowd explode.
Kris Red: "William, meet RaShawn. Never thought I'd say that."
Tony D: " The Referee has been taken out! The Challenger has been taken out! If you don't know folks this type of thing is what Dion & RaShawn TiTan are famous for! Interrupting and RUINING CLASSIC MATCHES!!.. but WHY are they here!?"
RaShawn throws his hands up as if to say he doesn't want any problems. He slowly backs into the ropes before suddenly attempting to throw a punch in William's direction. Wallace catches his fist and RaShawn quickly tries to escape in the other direction.......LOCH NESS!!!!
Kris Red: "LOCH NESS LOCKED IN!! Somebody has to help RaShawn TiTan he hasn't been active in the ring in at least 8 years!"
Tony D: "He brought it on himself! Why is he even here!?
RaShawn is helpless as William Wallace continues the choke out. He beings fading as Dion hops down from the ring apron. Out of nowhere the lights in the arena go blazing red. Anticipating something, William drops RaShawn to the mat and faces the entrance way. A red glowing fist logo with a slanted crown spinning above it appears on WARPEDVison as the crowd once again beings to buzz.
Tony D: ".....NO! ANYTHING BUT THIS!...ANYTHING!"
Kris Red: "TONY!"
The WARPEDVision screen scrambles and blacks out. The lights in the arena shut off completely as low ominous strings of unknown music can be heard. A sample of a man seemly giving a speech to thousands begins.
”...And the prophecy read! That one day, like the phoenix arose from the ashes…That a boy would be born onto a family in the slums…this boy would go own to use the knowledge he gained…while fighting for survival in the streets…to become a great leader…and in time that boy would grow to become………KING! "
The lights power on as "Rumble, Young Man Rumble" By Juelz Santana begins to play triumphantly throughout the arena. Without wasting a moment Taurus Capone emerges from backstage as the crowd outburst into an extremely loud mixed reaction. Taurus removes his shades from his eyes as William Wallace motions for him to come into the ring and signals that he's ready.
Tony D: "Taurus Capone! We haven't seen him in three months since he last lost the World Title to William Wallace in record time at the Not So Silent Night!"
Kris Red: "Stop ruining the moment with your FACTS"!
A weak chair shot is then planted across Wallace's back which prompts him to turn around. Dion this time is the one wielding the steel chair. She quickly drops it as William turns to face her....Out of nowhere she throws white powder directly into his eyes! Wallace spins around holding his face and turns directly into a K.O. punch from Taurus Capone! Wallace drops as Taurus stands in the middle of the ring surveying the damage. A smirk comes over his face as he holds his fist up and removes some brass knuckles. The crowd break into a heavy chorus of boos."
Tony D: "This is all one giant set up by this man! Get him out of here! He just hit the World Champion across the face with those brass knuckles!! TAURUS CAPONE ABOSULETLY MAKES ME SICK!!"
Kris Red: "KING is back Tony D! He just picked up where he left off."
RaShawn stands to his feet holding his neck as Dion laughs at the carnage while still running her fingers through her hair. Taurus holds his right fist high as he begins to back pedal out of the ring.
Taurus Capone: "......WITH A MOTHERFUCKIN IRON FIST!..."
Taurus rolls out of the ring followed by Dion and RaShawn and the trio make their way towards the backstage area as the audience boos them out of the arena. Starrzoe, Wallace and the Ref lay motionless in the ring.
Kris Red: " Taurus Capone is BACK! I didn't expect to see this happen tonight! If we know anything from the past that trio is deadly together. We've got to get more on this developing story but for now we've got this main event to continue."
Tony D: "This is.. oh wait, fans.. we're getting word that something is going on backstage! Do we have cameras in place?"
The cameras fade backstage where a camera man runs up to the spot where paramedics are checking on a bloodied PKA and Dylan Daniels both laid out.
Tony D: "That's PKA and Dylan Daniels! What happened?!"
Kris Red: "I don't know! You're supposed to be the guy with all the facts!"
The camera fades back to the ring..
Tony D: "We're not sure what happened, but if I had to guess."
Kris Red: "Oh, stop the guessing! They could've tripped on something."
Tony D: "I seriously doubt it."
Kris Red: "Me too. Somebody get them some help.."
Another referee runs down to the ring as William Wallace and Alexander StarrZoe start to rise to their feet. Wallace is bleeding now. Both men's faces are a crimson mask and the new referee checks on both to see if they can continue.
Tony D: "Thank goodness, a new referee."
Kris Red: "Not this again."
Tony D: "Somebody make sure that other one doesn't wake up until the match is over."
Starr sets William up for a German Suplex, but William fights it off with back elbow strikes. Starr staggers back, and William pulls him back in and hits a Half Nelson Driver! He makes the cover..
Wallace pulls Starr up and sets him up for the Freedom Drop. He lifts Starr up and drops him with a Sitout powerbomb!
Tony D: "The Freedom Drop!!"
Wallace crawls on top of Starr..
Tony D: "Starr kicked out!!!"
Kris Red: "Oh no!"
William Wallace cannot believe it! The fans break out in a "THAT WAS 3!" chant and he points out to the fans while the referee shakes his head! Wallace pulls Starr up ever so slowly and leads him to the corner. He pats the top buckle and the fans cheer. He climbs up and pulls Starr up with him.
Tony D: "William Wallace looks to up the ante a bit here I think.."
Wallace pulls Starr in for the Freedom Drop from the top, and lifts him up, but Starr counters into a Hurricanrana!
Kris Red: "Rana!"
Wallace crashes on the mat, and Starr looks back. He hops up onto the turnbuckle and gains his balance, and leaps off with the 450 splash!
Tony D: "The Rising Starr!!"
NOOO!!!! KICK OUT!!! KICK OUT!!
Tony D: "TWO COUNT! TWO COUNT!!"
"This is AWESOME!" Clap, Clap, Clap-Clap-Clap* "This is AWESOME!" Clap, Clap, Clap-Clap-Clap* "This is AWESOME!" Clap, Clap, Clap-Clap-Clap*
Kris Red: "Yes it is!!"
Starr can't believe it! He holds up three fingers in the face of the referee and the referee waves his arms and puts up two fingers!
Starr looks around and spots a steel chair. He picks it up.
Tony D: "That's the chair that Dion used earlier!"
The referee grabs the chair but Starr pulls it back out of the ref's grip. The referee tells Starr he cannot use that!
Starr levels the referee with the steel chair!
Kris Red: "OH NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"
The backup referee drops to the mat and Starr kicks him out of the ring. Wallace starts to get to his feet. Starr violently slams the mat with the chair. Wallace turns around and Starr drills him with a hard shot to the head with the chair!
Tony D: "Oh my GOD!"
Kris Red: "He's still standing!!"
Starr then swings and cracks him over the head once more, and he still stands! Starr looks at the dented up chair and then up at Wallace and shouts "FUCKING DIE ALREADY!" and he hurls the chair at him and the chair wraps around his neck. Wallace drops to his knees and down to the mat. The fans chant "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"
Tony D: "MY GOD!!"
The original referee starts to come to as Starr removes the chair from Wallace's skull. His head drops to the mat. Starr hops onto the top buckle and motions to the crowd to keep the hatred coming his way, and the entire crowd erupts in boos. He then comes off the top with the 450 Splash! The referee crawls toward them and slowly counts.
Tony D: "No, not like this."
Kris Red: "Is he even concious..?"
Tony D: "New champ."
The referee rolls on his back and signals for the bell, and it sounds. StarrZoe, clutching his ribs, and a crimson mask on his face, stands up with a smile on his face.
Randy Long: "Here is your winner and the NEWWWWWWWWWWW WARPED Wrestling World Champion - Alexander StarrrrrrrZooooooe!"
Starr rolls out of the ring and yanks the World Title from Randy Long, and rolls back in the ring. He is joined by Crowbar, Mr. Rottentreats, Douglas Fresh, Kandi Washington and her bodyguards Ice and Drake Knight. They all individually high five Starr as he comes back into the ring.
Tony D: "We've got a new World Champion, Kris. Alexander StarrZoe is a two time champion, and that means that The AbominationZ stable now has two of three titles in this company.." Crowbar has a mic in hand.
Crowbar: "Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for your NEW WAR-....sorry, ABOMINATIONZ CHAMPION!"
Starr says something to the group, and that leads to Drake Knight leaving the ring and grabbing the sheet metal with the WARPED logo on it from earlier. He slides it into the ring and gets back in. Starr asks Crowbar if he'll hold his title for a second. Starr slips out of the ring, reaches under the apron, and pulls out....... a fluorescent light tube. He grins and rolls into the ring.
Crowbar: "Hahaha. Now now, settle down folks, nobody is going to come out here and do anything....why you ask? Well, some of them are simply...unable to make it. And the others won't either. Why? Because if they do, they will be IMMEDIATELY FIRED."
Crowbar looks into a camera.
Crowbar: "Hey Joey, you're not the only one that can do that"
Kandi shouts at Drake and Ice, and they pick William Wallace up. His face drips with blood and he is motionless.
Tony D: "This is ridiculous. The man can't even move. He is defenseless. Somebody get out here and stop this, please."
Kris Red: "I'm not even sure I can watch this."
Starr breaks the tube over his knee and tosses one half of it away, while he walks up to William with the other half. Starr takes his title back from Crowbar and puts it on his shoulder. Drake and Ice hold Wallace's head up and Starr brings the shards of glass at the end of the light tube toward the scar on the stomach of Wallace. He turns it around and pretends to stab himself. He drops to his knees and reaches out with one hand, pleading for Crowbar to help him. The fans erupt in boos and start throwing cups and trash into the ring.
Tony D: "This is sickening.."
The stable laughs and Starr gets back to his feet. Starr motions for them to get rid of him, and they toss William Wallace over the top rope and down to the ringside. Crowbar smirks as he raises the microphone up to speak.
Crowbar: "So lets see...the only thing WARPED really has left is the Tag Team Championships...but we'll have those soon enough. We have the World Title, The Evolution Title...I think you could say WE ARE IN CONTROL. WE ARE WARPED. We hold all the titles, we hold all the power!"
Drake and Ice hold up one side of the WARPED banner, while Kandi and Douglas Fresh hold up the other side. Crowbar looks behind him and smirks at the giant black banner with red text reading "WARPED"... Crowbar gives the 'cut it' sign with his hand across his throat, and out of Mr. Rottentreats' back pocket comes a hatchet. He hands it over to Starr.
Kris Red: "A hatchet!"
Tony D: "What are they going to do with that?"
Starr examines the hatchet for a moment, before driving it into the middle of the banner. A giant gash is busted through the WARPED logo, and he continues to swing away, chopping at it repeatedly, putting numerous holes in it. The fans continue to boo, and more trash fills the ring.
Crowbar: "You hear the word 'era' thrown around a fair bit here, the era of this, the era of that...this isn't the era of the AbominationZ....oh no....It's the beginning of the end for WARPED."
From each side, with the help of the gashes and slices in the sheet metal, they all start to pull the giant logo apart.
Crowbar: "Soon, WARPED won't exist! It will just be us! If you're with us, like our pal Kris Red is, you'll be fine; if you're against us like...well, all of you and the rest of the locker room, things are going to get veeeery uncomfortable! Hope you enjoyed the show, goodnight and fuck off!"
Crowbar throws down the mic and starts laughing.
Tony D: "Kris, what does he mean?"
Kris Red: "..."
Tony D: "Kris?"
Kris Red: "YOLO.."
Tony D: "Folks, I don't know what to say about what we've just seen. The AbominationZ have taken control of WARPED. I'm not certain what my future is here at this point. For now, we've got to go. Thanks for .. ugh. Thanks for three great years. Goodnight."
The fans continue to litter the ring with trash. AbominationZ pose in the ring as the show fades out to an AbominationZ logo...
Thank you to everyone for all of your hard work on this show, as well as past shows. Thanks to everyone for contributing segments, roleplays, ideas, and having great conversations throughout the years. We've hit a milestone that isn't often hit in this game - three years. See you in 2014 for the 4th Anniversary. Thank you.
11 Nov 2015
6 Nov 2015