CONTENT

FWO: WEDNESDAY WARFARE - 01/13/1999

Posted by WrestleUTA on 4 Oct 2015

 

Introduction

Wedensday Warfare opened to the usual fireworks and fanfare. Quickly however, the music and excitement died down as James Armstrong walked to the ring. James Armstrong explained to the crowd that things were in chaos backstage, with the fWo officals falling all over themselves trying to maintain control with wrestlers challenging each other to retirement matches and other wrestlers attacking each other backstage. Worse still, the fWo had neglected to book an entire card and thus the night was up in the air. Armstrong explained that he had a plan however... a contingency plan. Armstrong pulled out a paper from his pocket, and read aloud to the fans in attendance the emergency plan in case a full card is not prepared for the fWo. In the event of such an occurance, the announcing team present were to book the remainder of the card on the fly. James Armstrong then looked over at the announcing desk, which was empty. Armstrong scratched his chin and wondered aloud where Chris Finn was, hoping aloud that he had not lost his car keys and been unable to drive to the arena. James Armstrong seemed to resign himself to the task alone, and then brightened. James Armstrong claimed that in the event of an announcer not showing up, he had the authority to select replacements. James Armstrong then called Scott Slugger and the Flying Frenchie to the ring, handed them microphones, and the three began to confer about who would wrestle first...

Backstage Interview with Primetime

Backstage Interview with Primetime

Backstage, Matt Loco caught up with Primetime and asked him about the challenge set forth by Ultra Violet for a match. Primetime laughed, and then picked up Matt Loco and tossed him through an arena window. Primetime then talked to the camera, first saying hello to the Flying Frenchie and wishing him well with booking the show tonight. Primetime then held up the Tag Team Title and informed the Dreamers that this Friday at Holiday Hell III the titles would walk in with the French, and walk out with the French. Primetime informed them that they were dreaming if they thought they would ever get their hands on any set of titles, more or less these titles. Primetime then picked up an Ultra Violet toy, and looked at it. In Primetime's other hand he held a new Primetime toy. Primetime pointed out that the Primtime toy was wearing a title. He then pointed at Ultra Violet, who was accessorized with only a can of purple paint and a rock. Primetime informed Ultra Violet that he was not quite at Primetime's level to demand a match. Primetime claimed he was a giving man however, and told Ultra Violet that if he could defeat someone at his own level, he would be willing to kick Ultra Violet's ass next week. Primetime then looked around at the fWo toys, passing up Austin Davis, Stevie Roberts, Wolf Fang, and Sid Snow. He then picked up the Showstopper, and told Ultra Violet that if he could beat him, at Holiday Hell III, then he would give in, show up at the arena, and beat the living daylights out of him next week. Primetime then told Flying Frenchie to have fun, and pushed the cameraman to the ground.

New Ninja (c) vs. VL Tha Murdera

 

VL came to the ring carrying a large stuffed rabbit. The rabbit was large and it had to be held with two hands, and VL hauled her into the ring with some effort. VL then ripped the rabbit's head off, allowing a chainsaw that was hidden inside to be exposed. With the chainsaw running, VL urged the Ninja to come to the ring. Acting quickly, Scott Slugger and the Frenchie declaired the match a "chainsaw match", and loudly invited both members of the match to injur themselves. The Frenchie then added that if neither individual was able to compete after the match was done he would accept the title for himself rather than leave it vacant. This seemed to annoy Scott Slugger somewhat, but the Ninja then came to the ring, without a chainsaw, and quickly grabbed the hair of VL and rammed her face-first into the mat. VL got back on her feet and delivered a quick standing kick to the champion, taking the air out of him and sending him to the mat. VL pounced on the Ninja and applied a figure four while straining to the side of the ring where the chainsaw lay. The Ninja broke the hold and slid outside of the ring, walking over to where the Slugger and Frenchie were sitting. As the Ninja yelled at them, the Frenchie picked up a frying pan laying on the announcing table and broke it over the Ninja's head. The ref called for the bell, and VL looked annoyed. Scott Slugger and the Frenchie confered and announced that this sort of match ending was a rip-off to the fans. They announced that from this moment forward, all matches would be under "announcers can interfere at will without DQs" rules. Angry at this, VL marched off, but looked up at the Warfare Screen to see her Camaro being destroyed by Cactus Jack, weilding a sledgehammer. Acting quickly, Scott Slugger and the Frenchie declaired that tonight was "demolish VL's car" night.

Result: New Ninja by DQ

Boston Strangler Interview

Backstage, the Boston Strangler was asked about his upcoming match against Darkness. The Boston Strangler said that all of them were looking forward to ridding the fWo of Darkness. The Boston Strangler said that they had been all plagued by this Darkness for some time and that they were tired of them. This Friday, one man would leave the fWo forever, and that it would not be them. Watching this on the monitors, the Flying Frenchie mentioned that perhaps the Boston Strangler needed some practice. This struck a cord in Scott Slugger, who remembered that Ice had a match this Friday and could use some practice as well. James Armstrong pointed out that both men liked weapons, and that the Strangler liked ropes. Acting as if struck by inspiration, Scott Slugger announced that the two should have a strap match later this evening. Both men tied together, and with the earlier "announcer interference" rule in full effect...

Flying Frenchie (c) vs. Black Panther

Flying Frenchie (c)Black Panther

Donning the head-set microphone the Flying Frenchie stepped into the ring, announcing that he was such a man that he would announce through his match to make the experiance more exciting. The Black Panther came to the ring looking angry and nervous. The Black Panther pointed at Armstrong and Slugger and told them that they had better not try any of that "announcer interfere" crap. The Black Panther then climbed into the ring and told the Frenchie to take that silly headset off. In response, the Frenchie slapped the Panther and began calling his shots over the microphone. The Frenchie told the crowd that he was going to attack the leg of the Panther, and the Panther at once drew back his leg. Laughing at the Panther, the Frenchie delivered an uppercut, which the Panther caught, and flipped the Frenchie over. The Panther then went to the top rope, and landed a flying knee. This sent the headset flying off the Frenchie's head, and the Frenchie asked the ref to stop the match until it got back on his head. The Panther looked annoyed, and the Frenchie began to hold his arm, claiming he couldn't pick up the headset. The Frenchie then demanded that the Panther put the headset on his head for him. The Panther kicked the Frenchie instead, and quickly rolled him up for a pin. As the Panther celebrated with the title, the Frenchie and Slugger confered with the ref, who announced that the bookers of the evening had made the match a non-title match, and that the Panther's title shot was actually the next week. Disgusted, the Panther threw the title at the Frenchie and spit at Scott Slugger Angry at this turn of events, the Slugger announced that it was also "demolish the Panther's car" night. This alarmed the Frenchie, who in a panic reminded Scott Slugger that his car was parked next to the Panther's...

Result: Black Panther by Pinfall

Chris Finn's Troubles

Chris Finn's Troubles

The camera picks up Chris Finn at a rental car agency. Chris Finn looks annoyed, and is yelling at the car rental people, who continue to inform him that it is their poilicy not to rent cars to people wanted by foreign governments. Chris Finn yelled that he was not wanted by any governments, and began to loudly curse the staff at Alamo. At that moment the police arrived, along with Mitch Wilson. Mitch pointed at Finn and informed the police that he was the individual the French Embassy was looking for. The police then handcuffed Chris Finn, and informed Mitch Wilson that they would take care of the deportation arrangements. Mitch Wilson thanked the men, and walked away as Chris Finn continued to kick and scream...

Joy Arrives To Spread Cheer

Joy Arrives To Spread Cheer

As the crowd begins to chant "bullsh*t" loudly, Joy makes his way to the ring, along with his Barney dolls, and announces that a series of happy songs will put the crowd in a happy mood, and bring a little sunshine and butterflies to the hearts of tonight's booking team. Joy began to sing "Happiness Pie" to the crowd, and Scott Slugger cut him off. Scott Slugger told Joy that he was not being heard clear enough, and invited him to step into the ring to get his message across clearer. Joy seemed estatic, and told the crowd that his happy policy was getting through, and that tonight would truly be a night of glee. As Joy stepped into the ring, Scott Slugger announced that it was offically "beat the crap out of Joy" night. At once Darkness, Fallen, Ground Zero, Primetime, The Dreamers, Cactus Jon, and VL came to the ring weilding various weapons. VL was carrying what appeared to be the bumper of her own car, and proceeded to beat Joy unconcious with it. From ringside, Scott Slugger and the Flying Frenchie determined that it was time for a female match...

Briana (c) vs. Stone

Slugger and the Frenchie declaired that there would be a women's title match, and announced that Stone of the bWo would defend. James Armstrong began to argue with Scott Slugger and the Frenchie about this decision, and the two sent him for coffee backstage. As James went, it became clear what the motivations were, as Slugger and the Frenchie began to discuss if Briana had breast implants or not. Stone came to the ring with the rest of the bWo, who stood as far from Slugger and the Frenchie as possible. Slugger and the Frenchie began to rate the attractiveness of the competitors, and sent security to fetch Apocolyptica, VL, Violet, and Sid. Briana came to the ring limping as a result of her match with VL. Briana went on the offensive right away and took Stone down to the mat with a series of chops. Outside the ring only Sid Snow came down at the request of Slugger and the Frenchie, and the two told security to send him back outside and lock him in the trash pick-up. Briana continued to attack Stone and keep her off her feet when Scott Slugger yelled to Briana. As Briana turned around, Scott Slugger took a flash Polaroid which dazed Briana. As Slugger compaied the photo to an old fWo program picture of her, Stone rolled Briana up backwards for the pin. Stone quickly escaped with the title as Briana went out to confront Scott Slugger. Briana picked up a glass of water and tossed it at the Slugger, who ducked under as the water drenched the Frenchie. Briana stalked off as the Frenchie glowered at Slugger, who handed the Flying Frenchie a towel.

Result: Stone by Pinfall

Lone Gunmen Annoyed

Lone Gunmen Annoyed

Suddenly, the Lone Gunmen stormed the ring, angry at Scott Slugger and the Flying Frenchie for sending the "first lady hopeful" to the garbage. Machina was flanked by Rudo, Billy James and Cactus Jack, and began to read Slugger and Frenchie the riot act. Neither of the announcers seemed intimidated by the two, and Scott Slugger invited "Bevis and Butthead" to step out back of the arena to settle this little debate. Machina backed down, explaining that a presidential candidate was not supposed to fight leading into an election. The Frenchie began to ask Machina where the "presidential testicals" were at these days, and asked if Sid perhaps had them in his purse out back by the garbage. Machina grew angry, his face red beneath the mask. The Frenchie continued to taunt Machina, informing the crowd that he was the perfect American president... a coward. Machina began to walk away, much to the distress of the Lone Gunmen, who were urging Machina on. The Frenchie then exclaimed that he was offically making tonight "toss beer cans and used chewing tobacco at the Lone Loser" night. Machina turned around slowly as items from the crowd began to pelt him, and told the Frenchie to turn around. The Frenchie did so, and there stood the Shocker in a three-piece suit with a small earpiece and sunglasses. Machina introduced the crowd to his new Secret Service agent bodyguard, the Shocker. Machina then told the Shocker to teach the frog a lesson, and the Shocker swung a chair. The Frenchie ducked, and the chair connected with Scott Slugger. The Lone Gunmen then left up the entrance ramp, as the Frenchie helped up Scott Slugger, who grumbled loudly about the Frenchie's "reflexes".

Ice (c) vs. Boston Strangler

Ice (c)Boston Strangler

In the main event the Boston Strangler came to the ring and eyed the two announcers wearily, both of whom were sitting farther away from each other than they did before. The Strangler walked into the ring and methodically attached the strap to his wrist, never allowing his eyes to stray from the Slugger, and the Frenchie in particular. Ice came to the ring and began shouting at Scott Slugger, who reminded Ice that it was "lose your title if you touch the announcers" night. Ice spat in disgust and walked into the ring, attaching the strap to his own wrist and then battering the Strangler in the side of the head with a closed fist. The Strangler went down on one knee, and Ice quickly touched two turnbuckles. The Boston Strangler stopped him before he could reach the third, and yanked him back, wrapping the strap around the neck of Ice and choking him in the center of the ring. Ice began to fade, and finally faded into unconciousness. The Strangler touched a turnbuckle, and then something high in the arena caught his attention, up near a large sign that was being hung. As the Strangler looked on he noticed what appeared to be a wolf walking around in the upper part of the arena. Shaking this image off, the Strangler went to the second and then the third turnbuckle, dragging Ice behind him. Ice started to show signs of conciousness as the Strangler neared the last turnbuckle, but before he reached it the turnbuckle dislodged from the ring and fell to the floor. The Strangler looked in confusion as Darkness exited under the ring holding a large wrench. The Strangler at once lept at Darkness, who ducked, and the Strangler colided with the Frenchie. Turning around to go after Darkness the rope attached to the wrist of the Strangler wrapped around the Frenchie's neck, and he was drug off his feet. Scott Slugger laughed at his prediciment, and the Frenchie angrily freed himself and shoved the Slugger. The Slugger shoved back, as the Strangler freed himself from the strap and lept on Darkness to the wildly cheering crowd. Ice grabbed his title and slowly made his way up the ramp, only to be confronted by Scotty Cool, who landed a hard lariat. Chaos continued to break out in the arena as the cameras went off the air...

Result: No Contest

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