|WARPED79 - 5/30/13 - Bethnal Green, E.London, England - York Hall|
WARPED has new Tag Team Champions - Anton Chase and Cameron MacNichol. They're a team that were forced together after feuding over the Evolution Championship for months. Despite their differences and the push-back from both men regarding their tag team, they've now found themselves as champions together. But the way they won the titles is not quite clean-cut, and it's not their fault. In fact, they had no idea of what happened when Anton Chase covered Evangelista for the 3 count.
PKA announced that his final match would be at Thursday's show in a match against William Wallace, the new World Champion and newest AbominationZ member. Later that night in the main event Tag Title match, he'd return with chair in hand, swinging like a madman, in defense of the competitors in the match against an attack from Wallace, Starr, and Crowbar. What nobody expected to happen was what happened next - a chairshot to both UK Dragons and a P-Krusher onto the chair for Evangelista. That led to Chase coming to and making the successful pin. Why did PKA do that? Is he associated with The AbominationZ? How will Chase and MacNichol respond to the way they won the titles? And what will the UK Dragons' next move be in their fight to save WARPED? Will Hugo Strange play a roll in any of this? We may find out at York Hall as the Global Domination Tour 2013 comes to an end.
Main Event: Tag Team Match
Evolution Championship Triple Threat Match
Tag Team Match
Opener: Singles Match
|WARPED79 - 5/30/13 - Bethnal Green, E.London, England - York Hall|
You open the DVD of WARPED 79 and enter it into your favorite DVD player. The sounds of "Pogo" by Digitalism play as the WARPED Wrestling logo floats down from the top to the middle of the screen. Underneath that fades in to words "Play DVD". You click... and the show begins...
SETH MOORE vs JUVIAN RAMOREZ
Randy Long: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall.Introducing first, from Santa Fe, New Mexico and weighing in at 229 pounds…JUVIAN RAMOREZ!
The Arena cuts to darkness leaving a purple spotlight on the entrance ramp. "Remedy" by Seether hits the PA System as Juvian Ramorez steps out from behind the curtains. He raises his right arm, then his left, before striking a crucifix pose. He begins walking down the ramp, arms raises, and turns, walking backwards looking out to the crowd, before turning back towards the ring and finishing his walk down the ramp. He slides under the bottom rope and sits in the corner waiting his opponent.
Tony D: And this newcomer has a lot to prove tonight as he takes on Seth Moore.
Kris Red: From the way he's been talking over the last two weeks, it seems like all he's worried about is High Octane Wrestling.
Tony D: Well he must concentrate on WARPED, that's for sure.
Kris Red: Both guys have a lot to prove, Tony D. They made it to Warped Wrestling, and now it’s time to see if they can tangle with the big boys of our industry.
Randy Long: Ladies and gentleman, please rise for the national anthem.
Kris Red: "What the hell?"
The crowd in attendance stands to attention as a swell of brass bursts into life. A few confused faces glance around York Hall as what they are hearing is not God Save the Queen.
"Australians all let us rejoice, for we are young and free."
As this gradually hits the ears of all in attendance a chorus of boos and jeers accompanies the beautiful melody.
"With gold and soil and wealth for toil, our home is girt by sea.
The music is almost drowned out now by the clearly unhappy British crowd. Clearly there are no colonists in attendance.
"In joyful strains and let us sing; advance Australia fair."
As the song comes to a conclusion the crowd continue to boo. The lights in the Hall drop and this somewhat quells their rage, but the damage appears to be done. Rhythmic drumming fills the speakers and is soon joined by piano as it slowly builds into song.
"We have the chance to turn the pages over.
We're all someone's daughter.
As the chorus of John Farnham's "You're the Voice" takes a hold of York Hall a battle ready Seth Moore slaps the curtain aside and makes his way towards the ring. The purely negative reaction his national anthem received seems to have been lost as many members of the crowd are singing along, as is Seth himself. He belts out the lyrics as he climbs into the ring and leads the crowd into the bagpipe solo. As the 1987 ARIA single of the year slowly fades Seth stands waiting in the ring with a microphone held to his lips.
Seth Moore:: G'day blokes and Sheilas! How the bloody hell are ya?
The crowd give Seth a somewhat mixed reaction, still not sure what to make of him and his ridiculously exaggerated Australian accent.
Seth Moore:: I just wanted to come out here and tell you all how fair dinkum I am about being a dinky di Aussie! You see I heard Juvian Ramorez talking some absolute codswallop about me denouncing my country of birth and the first thing I thought was; STRUTH! You see Juvi, you flaming mongrel, your outlandish claims are drier than a dead dingos donger! There is nothing I love more in this world than throwing another shrimp on the barbie and...
Seth pauses for a moment to gather himself. He scratches his head, before giving the nod of disapproval and dropping the playful act.
Seth Moore:: Actually, now that I think about it, I don't think I have ever thrown a shrimp on the barbie. I don't think any Australian anywhere has ever done that. I don't even know what the fuck that means. All Jokes aside Juvi; I have never been more insulted than when you made a flat out assumption about me and my heritage. And while I may not have put a shrimp on the barbie, one thing I have grilled plenty of in my time is chicken wings. I love them, I can't get enough of them, in fact if they were a woman I would probably shove them in my... Never mind. The point I am trying to make is that barbecues aren't the only place I enjoy them, oh no. In fact my favorite place to enjoy a chicken wing is right here."
Seth motions to the mat under his feet. He pulls off his T-shirt and tosses it out of the ring.
Seth Moore:: So what do you say? Why don't you drag your greasy ass out here right now and let me give you a taste of the 143rd best chicken wing in the whole fucking world."
Seth drops the microphone as the fans boo him and Juvian imediately goes after him, to the crowd's delight. The bell sounds. Juvian with a side headlock into a takedown. Moore gets up. Juvian with another side headlock. Moore shoves him into the ropes and Juvian with a shoulder bump. Moore gets back up again. They grapple. Moore with a side headlock. Juvian shoves him and Moore with a bump. Off the ropes and Juvian with a leap frog followed by a high elbow to Moore's head. Another grapple. Moore with an arm lock. He puts Juvian at the turnbuckle and lands a cheap shot. Juvian gets out of the corner, lands a right hand and throws Moore over the top. Moore skins the cat back into the ring and Juvian waits with a dropkick. Juvian picks Moore up and hits a second dropkick. He covers and gets a one count. Juvian with an uppercut to Moore. Juvian climbs the turnbuckle and lands a ten count of punches followed by another uppercut that knocks Moore back down.
Tony D: Both combatants are giving it their all here tonight.
Kris Red: But I think Juvian is starting to gain some momentum.
Tony D: Can Seth recover?
Juvian with some Garvin stomps all around Moore. He picks Moore up and Moore quickly knocks him back into the corner. Moore with a running kick that keeps Juvian down. Moore grabs Juvian and lands a couple right hands before making the pin.
Kick out! Moore grabs Juvian and goes for a suplex, but Juvian counters with a suplex of his own. Cover.
Kick out. Juvian with a diving knee to the face and yet another cover.
Tony D: Seth Moore will not go down!
Kris Red: I love this kid’s tenacity!
Juvian with a wrist lock. Moore gets up and drives a knee to the gut followed a surprise dropkick. Moore covers.
Kick out. Moore picks up Juvian and whips him into the corner. Juvian leaps off with a clothesline, but Moore ducks it and catches him with a neckbreaker. Juvian rolls out of the ring to escape, but Moore runs the ropes and baseball slides Juvian off his feet. He picks up Juvian and goes to smack his head on the apron, but Juvian with a knee to the gut. Juvian puts Moore on the apron, gets on the apron and goes for the DDT, but Moore snaps Juvian's head against the ropes. He heads into the ring while Juvian rolls back into the ring. Moore waits for Juvian to get up and gets behind him. Juvian goes for Sinner’s Lust, but Moore shoves him back and scurries over to the turnbuckle.
Tony D: Nice escape from Moore.
Kris Red: He needs to think of a counterattack.
Moore springboards off the apron and connects with a springboard DDT to Juvian! Juvian looks out cold. Moore grabs Juvian and covers.
Kick out! Moore stomps on Juvian and lands a few right hands. He drives his knee into Juvian's neck. Moore makes another cover.
Kick out. Moore looks annoyed as he applies a headlock. Juvian gets to his feet and goes for a back suplex, but Moore counters, lands on his feet and hits a split uppercut. Moore grabs Juvian and hits a chokeslam onto his knee!
Kris Red: Yeeeouch!
Kick out. Moore puts Juvian in the turnbuckle and chokes him with his boot. Juvian fights out of the corner. He runs at Moore and Moore with a boot to the face followed by an elbow off the top to the back of the neck. Cover.
Kick out. Moore claims it's over. He climbs the turnbuckle. Juvian gets up. Moore tries to set himself up for a top turnbuckle move, and Juvian hits the ropes causing Moore to crash land on the pad. Juvian climbs the turnbuckle, grabs Moore and hits a superplex!
Tony D: A superplex that shakes the ring!
Kris Red: I like Juvian’s chances!
Juvian drapes an arm over Moore’s chest.
KICK OUT! Nearly a three count, and Juvian is shocked. Both men get up at the same time. Moore gets up and Juvian goes for a crescent kick, but Moore ducks it and shoves Juvian into the turnbuckle. Juvian bounces off the turnbuckle; Moore grabs him from behind and rolls him up.
Moore pulls the tights further and puts his feet on the middle rope for leverage.
As soon as the bell sounds Moore drops his feet and rolls out of the ring.
Randy Long: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner…SETH MOORE!
Tony D: Did you see that? Moore cheated! He just put his feet on the ropes!
Kris Red: It’s not cheating if you don’t get caught, Tony D. A win is a win, and Seth Moore became a winner here at Warped.
Tony D: Let’s see if he can keep it up in the weeks to come.
As Juvian argues with the ref over the controversial win, Moore walks up the ramp and celebrates his win.
The scene opens up backstage in a locker room, where we see Cameron MacNichol sitting on a metal folding chair, getting ready for his match. He looks up as he hears the sound of a door opening, and Anton Chase enters the room.
Anton Chase: What do you want?
Cameron MacNichol: Oh, good. You got my message. Now we can get started.
Anton Chase: Start on what?
Cameron MacNichol: Another exercise. Don't worry, we can do this one in here. It's all about trust.
Anton Chase: Wait one god damn second. Last week I pinned UK Dragons for us and I got us the tag team titles and you still can't trust me. Well, this isn't happening, I either see you out in the ring for our match tonight or I don't. And to be honest, I can beat Taurus Capone and Rashawn Titan singlehanded anyway.
As Anton turns to walk away, Cameron stops him.
Cameron MacNichol: Wait a second. I do trust you, sort of. But there's still a trust thing with me, and I believe we can be a dominant team if I have 100% trust in you. Right now, I'm wavering at about 65%. We have a some time to kill, so humor me and try this exercise.
Anton shakes his head in disgust and lets out a heavy sigh.
Cameron MacNichol: Turn around, with your back facing me. Fall backwards and I'll catch you, and then I'll do the same and see if you catch me.
With the angriest face on, Anton reluctantly turns around and falls backwards with Cameron catching him.
Cameron MacNichol: See, that wasn't so painful, was it?
Anton stands in a normal stance waiting for Cameron to do the same.
Cameron MacNichol: Just do what I did. It's as painless as falling asleep.
Cameron turns his back to Anton, and falls backwards as Anton catches him.
Cameron MacNichol: All right, that was fun. Let's try again.
Anton Chase: No way.
Cameron MacNichol: Come on, just one more time.
Reluctantly, Anton turns around again and falls backwards, with Cameron catching him.
Cameron MacNichol: See, we're starting to build some trust in each other.
Cameron turns around and gets ready to fall back. As he falls, Anton's cell phone buzzes; ignoring Cameron, he checks his phone as Cameron hits the floor with a loud thud.
Cameron MacNichol: OWW! What the fuck, dude?
Anton gives Cameron a look of complete insincerity.
Anton Chase: Sorry about that. I've got to get this. See you out there.
Anton walks off, leaving Cameron on the floor in shock, and the scene fades out.
A GIFT FOR WILLIAM WALLACE
The AbominationZ sit in Crowbar’s office, discussing strategies for their takeover of WARPED and the wrestling world. Crowbar sits behind his desk, StarrZoë sits opposite him, his feet up, and Wallace, the AbominationZ World Championship over his shoulder, is lounged on the leather couch in the corner of the room. All three men are deep in thought and silence.
Starr: “Why can’t we just start interfering in random matches and promotions and beat the shit out of everyone until we’ve shelved the rosters?”
Wallace: “Then there’s no one left to beat on...”
Crowbar: “Bad enough we almost got arrested for what we did in Vegas, I don’t think we need charges brought up for assaulting random wrestlers.”
Starr(pointing toward Wallace): “ixnay on Vegasay”
Wallace: “Fuck ya both! I still got scars.”
Crowbar (shrugging): “Hey man, business is business, you know? Look on the bright side though, now that you’ve come aboard the winning team, you’re a lot richer and you’re World Champion again!”
There’s a sudden knock at the door, drawing the 3 men’s attention out of their conversation. After a couple of knocks a squeaky voice struggles to speak through the door.
???: "I uh.. Yeah.. I've got, uh.. I've got a celebration basket for a.. Uh.. William Wallace?"
Wallace: Well bring it in idiot.
A bucktooth ginger enters the room with a giant plastic banana and a card in the shape of an apes face. He hands the banana basket off to a confused William Wallace. Wallace reads the speech bubble by the apes mouth aloud as he sits the banana on Crowbar’s desk.
Crowbar: “Looks like someone's a fan...What’s it say?”
Wallace: “I know what you did last summer..”
Wallace hesitates to open the ape card to read the rest as the StarrZoe and Crowbar look on just as confused.
Wallace: “And that shit was B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Sincerely, Ape Boy.” What the fuck is an Ape Boy!
Starr: “I miss No Doubt...that’s when Ska was good.”
Crowbar: “What the fuck are you on about?”
Starr: “Seriously though, what the hell is a “holla back girl?”
Crowbar: “It sounds like you just went into a stroke mid-sentence. What does any of the shit you just said mean?”
Starr: “Dunno, that’s what I’m wondering. Maybe I’ll ask Gwen Stefani if I ever get a chance. Now then, more importantly; who the fuck is Ape Boy and what did you do last summer?”
Crowbar: “Gwen Stef-..fuck, I give up trying to figure you out.”
ANTON CHASE & CAMERON MACNICHOL vs TAURUS CAPONE & RASHAWN TITAN
Winners: Annton Chase & Cameron MacNichol in under 5 minutes. MacNichol was able to make TiTan tap out.
OOC: Sorry for the lack of match. The computer issues really put a damper on things, and TC/RT no-showed, so it was an obvious win.
Randy Long: "WARPED fans, please direct your attention to WARPEDVision for a special video that was filmed last week."
WARPEDVision.. PKA & Hugo Strange Meet
Location: Premier Inn Hotel Lobby in Glasgow, Scotland
Hugo has a camera pointing at PKA as he walks up to him sitting at a table in the lobby of the Premier Inn Hotel.
Hugo Strange: Hey you better have a good reason for doing what you did.
PKA: “Really? Not even a ‘hey man!’ or a ‘fuck, it’s early. I’m tired.’ or a ‘Sorry I’m late!’ .. nothin’ like that huh? Just right into it.”
Hugo Strange: sigh.......Hey its fucking early sorry I am late. Now why.
PKA takes a sip of his generic, plastic coffee cup, whatever that was supplied by the Premier Inn hotel.
PKA: “Why what? Why did I leave WARPED? Why did I use a chair on UK Dragons? Why did I order chicken last night that was clearly undercooked? Why what? Why???”
PKA has another drink of his coffee and stares at Hugo.
Hugo Strange: Why cost UK Dragons the titles?
PKA: “It wasn’t uh, ohhh.. it wasn’t so much that I was costing them the titles. See... it was mostly a wake-up call. That’s it.”
PKA: “You know?”
Hugo Strange: A fucking wake up call! A wake up call for what?
PKA looks around nervously and back to Hugo.
PKA: “Dude, keep it down. This lobby echos like a muuhhhg.. that receptionist is givin’ me the stink eye. Or the sexy eye. I don’t get it.”
He takes a sip of his coffee.
PKA: “But seriously, don’t be so dumb. A wake-up call for what the AbominationZ are all about. A wake up call for what the AbominationZ can and will do. You had your own little way of delivering a wake up call to everyone after your match. Well, I just took a different approach. What I did to the Dragons was a preliminary attack for what you damn well know AbominationZ will do if they keep lolly gaggin’ around and talking about how they’re going to help WARPED and support WARPED and keep WARPED alive and free of AbominationZ.”
PKA leans forward and whispers to Hugo.
He leans back and resumes speaking in a normal voice.
PKA: “If what I did lit a fire under the dragons asses then so be it. That’s what the point was. Get it now?”
Hugo leans to whisper to PKA
Hugo Strange: Ok ok you did to lite a fire weird way going about it, but why run out on WARPED. WARPED needs you it needs a leader. WARPED is your baby.
PKA rubs the temple of his face and peers through the spaces between his fingers.
PKA: “Seriously? This again? Did you not even bother listening to anything I had to say last week? Ugh.. Listen. I’ve done all I could do. I realized recently that all of this stuff is my fault in one way or another. Trust me on this.”
He drinks from his coffee.
PKA: “And wait. My baby? This isn’t only MY company. This is your company. This is Leon’s company. This is Anton’s company. This is Switchblade’s company.. Wallace’s.. Starr’s.. no matter good or bad, this is the guys and girls company, the ones who have busted their ass. So forget that shit about it being my baby. Just because I have money invested, or own a small percentage, forget all of that. You don’t need ME anymore. But you do need a leader. What about yourself?”
Hugo Strange: I can't.....no nobody will follow me I am just the loud mouth rookie nobody takes me serious.
Hugo looks down at his hands and back at PKA.
Hugo Strange: Do you think I can do it.
PKA: “Look, I don’t know. I know you don’t know either. Thing is, does anyone really know if they can do anything until they actually......do it? You might be a rookie who lets his temper get the best of him but damnit, you’ve done quite a bit in your very short time as a wrestler. I guess you have to look inside of yourself and decide if you think you can do it. But, don’t just be satisfied with yourself. That’s where you’ll lose. Recruit others. Rally the troops. Don’t let UK Dragons go at this alone. Keep that fire burning.. put that temper to good use..”
Hugo Strange: Troops that is funny Leon is out for himself, Switchblade doesn't care or at least thats how it seems. Anton is another guy out for himself. Cameron well he would fight for WARPED. I guess I am going to have to work with what I got uh.that
Hugo looks around the lobby and back at PKA.
Hugo Strange: This isn't your fault. You didn't know what was going to happen you are not psychic. Patrick don't beat yourself up over this.
PKA: “We’ll see about that.”
Hugo offers his hand to PKA.
Hugo Strange: You did your best you are a good man. You took a chance on me and I am grateful for that. I will will always have your back. You, me and Daniels would make a killer trio. I got to head back man be safe and I am sorry man.
PKA shakes Hugo’s hand.
PKA: “Go, and make sure everyone back home sees this footage.”
PKA stands up and takes another final drink from his coffee cup. He tosses it in the trash bin and glances over at the lady behind the check-in counter. PKA leans in and whispers to Hugo.
PKA: “I think she might actually be a man, by the way.”
Hugo winks at her and blows a kiss.
Hugo Strange: I think she/he is giving you the sexy eye.
PKA: “Christ. Goodbye.”
PKA turns his back and heads toward the elevator. Hugo turns the camera on himself.
Hugo Strange: There goes the last of his kind a beautiful mutant. WARPED things about to get STRANGE!
BACKSTAGE SEGMENT WITH DYLAN DANIELS
Dylan Daniels enters York Hall with a gym bag draped over his left shoulder. The door of the wrestler's entrance slams behind him as he's approached by Sean Armstrong.
Sean Armstrong: "Dylan, may I have a few words?"
Dylan looks at the microphone in his face before shooting a smug look in Sean's direction.
Sean Armstrong: "No one has seen or heard from you in quite some time. The Controvert seems to think everyone should get their money back tonight."
Dylan stops dead in his tracks as he approaches the locker room.
Dylan Daniels: "Why? Because Daddy Daniels decided not to waste his breathe and a hi8 tape? I guess we know what Controvert is all about, now. Attention. I bet it would stick right in his craw; if I didn't bother changing. Better yet, what if I don't even walk down to the ring tonight? Hell I've already been paid."
Sean Armstrong: "Yes, paid to wres.."
Dylan Daniels: "My point exactly. I get paid to wrestle, not act a fool on youtube like a twelve year old. What I am paid isn't worth skipping a family vacation for either. By the way, don't ever visit The Controvert's mind. Lot's of empty space up there."
Sean Armstrong: "..."
Dylan Daniels: "At least it was free, right?"
Dylan observes Sean attempting to pick up on his sense of humor.
Dylan Daniels: "Nothing? Fine. Listen up Connie! You wanna get Vicious? We can get more Vicious than Sid. How about it, Nancy?"
Dylan steps away from Sean Armstrong rather calmly.
Sean Armstrong: "Back to you Kris and Tony!"
Y w/The Controvert vs JASON RICHARDS
Jason Richards and Y lock up in the middle of the ring as the fans chant "Richards, Richards". Richards gets the upper-hand over Y. He powers him into the ropes, and the referee gets between them, telling them to get off the ropes, so Jason breaks. They circle around and once again they tie up, and Richards takes him down with a headlock takeover. Richards confidently gets to his feet while Y looks out to his partner and Switchblade with surprise. Switchblade watches on while The Controvert encourages him on.
They lock up once more. Y knees Richards in the gut and sends him into the ropes. Richards comes back with a clothesline attempt but Y rolls under it and hits the ropes. He returns with a running leg lariat, but Richards drops down and avoids it. Both men get to their feet and lock up in the middle of the ring. Richards powers him into the corner and slowly backs off as the referee warns them of being on the ropes. He hits Y with a few repeated chops, but Y counters with a few of his own. Y grabs Richards by the head and hops onto the turnbuckle. He pushes off for a Tornado DDT but Richards shoves him away and then follows up with a Superkick! Y drops to the mat and Richards makes the cover..
Tony D: "Great quickness from Jason Richards there and the first pinfall of the match!"
Richards brings Y to his feet and delivers more knife edge chops to the chest, backing him into the ropes. Richards pulls him out of the ropes and scoops his legs out from under him and looks to lock in a Sharp Shooter. The Controvert gets up on the apron to try and put a stop to it but Richards charges in and delivers a right hand, knocking him off the apron! Y then grabs Richards by the head and drops him with a Reverse DDT.
Kris Red: "This would be a time where most would go for a cover, but I don't think Y cares much about pinning Richards."
Y stays on the attack as he gets to his feet and puts the boots to Richards, keeping him down. Y hits the ropes and returns with a knee drop to the face!
Tony D: "Ooh, and Richards is dropped to the mat!"
Kris Red: "And yet again, no pinfall."
Y brings Richards to his feet and whips him into the corner. He charges in but Richards gets the boots up. Richards then brings Y on his shoulders in a firemans carry but Y slips out and hits the ropes behind Richards, bounces and hits a bulldog! Y is cheered on by his partner at ringside as he quickly scales the turnbuckle and leaps off with a diving headbutt, and connectS! He rolls Richards over and stands over him, again not going for the cover.
Tony D: "A bigtime impact move like that and you don't go for the cover? He clearly just wants to inflict more damage."
Y backs up as Richards slowly gets to his feet. Y slaps his knee and measures Richards off as he rises. Y then charges in for the running knee to the skull and Richards moves out of the way and gets to his feet, hits the ropes, and returns with a Roaring Elbow! Y is sent twisting into the ropes and bounces back, right into Emerald City Flash, as Richards drops Y on his head! Richards goes for the cover but suddenly The Controvert comes into the ring and pulls him off! The referee tells him to stop but The Controvert does not listen as he lifts Richards up and hits a Spinebuster to the turnbuckle post!!
Tony D: "Oh come on!!"
Kris Red: "This is what they do! They destroy!"
The referee calls for the bell and The Controvert stands over Richards' dead body. SwitchBlade watches on from ringside as The Controvert then helps up his partner, who is still very dazed from being dropped on his skull.
Randy Long: "The winner of the match as a result of a disqualification - Jason Richards!"
Y and The Contovert aren't happy with that decision as they then start stomping away at Richards! The fans erupt in boos as the duo continue their assault. The Controvert starts untying the turnbuckle pad on the top post.
Tony D: "This is a two on one assault here!"
Suddenly the fans pop as Dylan Daniels runs down to the ring and slides in! He takes down Y with a hard right hand and then The Controvert with a kick to the gut, followed by a Hammerlock DDT!
Tony D: "Dylan Daniels to the rescue!"
Y then clubs Daniels from behind and starts squeezing the sides of his skull but Jason Richards comes to and boots him in the gut! Y is sent staggering to the ropes, Richards and Daniels both clothesline him out of the ring!
The Controvert then hits a double clothesline from behind, and kicks Richards out of the ring. He yells at the referee to call for the bell and he does so!
THE CONTROVERT vs DYLAN DANIELS
Tony D: "I guess this is our next match up! The Controvert facing Dylan Daniels."
The Controvert takes advantage of a downed Daniels and lifts him up and hits a Spinebuster on the exposed turnbuckle post!!
Kris Red: "Oouchhh!"
The referee has no idea and The Controvert looks down at Daniels who is not moving at all.
Tony D: "Daniels had his head smacked against that exposed turnbuckle. This is not good!"
A disinterested Controvert puts a boot on Daniels' chest, and the referee (confused) counts.. 1.. 2.. 3.
Kris Red: "That was fast.."
The bell sounds.
Randy Long: Here is your winner - The Controvert!"
The fans boo! The Controvert doesn't allow the refere to raise his arm in any celebration. He exits through the ropes and joins Y and SwitchBlade at ringside as the trio heads to the back. Jason Richards slips into the ring to check on Dylan Daniels who is still knocked out. The referee signals for paramedics as the scene fades.
HUGO STRANGE IS FIRED UP!!
Hugo marches down to the ring with the evolution title over his shoulder. Hugo calls for a mic and seats himself on the top turnbuckle.
Hugo: Ok so I am out here to say and do something. Anton Chase, Cameron MacNickol the UK Dragons Switchblade and his two attack dogs; Leon Stone and Damien Baine and Jason Richards and Dylan Daniels and everybody else in the WARPED locker.
The time has come for us stand up against Crowbar , Wallace and Starrzoe. Look we have to put aside our differences, we have to bury our hatches and move pass these little things and deal with the elphant in the room. All I am saying is we this pretty shit is making us weak. All this in fighting is making it easier for Crowbar to win. UK Dragons you two are pissed right. You two want to smash somebody's head in right well tonight take it to Wallace don't worry about the tag titles now. Now just hear me out on this.
What are those tag titles going to be worth if WARPED is destroyed. Yeah you could run home to Frontier but what you said about WARPED this place means something to you and it means something to me. So please let what happened at WARPED 78 go and lets take care of business.
Now Anton, Cameron you two hold the tag titles. Now how long till Crowbar comes after you two. How long till Crowbars goon squad comes knocking on your doors. The way I see it you both owe WARPED. Yeah I said you two owe WARPED why you ask well here is why last year when you two turned your backs on WARPED and tried to destory it who took you guys back no questions asked. Who let your pass transactions go unpunished and still gave you title shots. So yeah I would say that you owe WARPED a big debt because if PKA wouldn't of took you back you woukd be out on the street.
Switchblade to be honest I need you I need you wisdom and your guidance. Look what ever you are trying to is not the right way to go. Switchblade you should be making this speech not some rookie. All that time you fought all the great evils in WARPED Grendel, Korrupt, and Wallace. I find it hard to believe that you are happy to just sit back and watch your students help speed up the process of WARPEDs death. Switchblade I am not asking you to fight but I am asking for your mind.
Leon you said that this is none of your business, and that WARPED will survive. Leon you are wrong WARPED will not survive this. See Leon if Crowbar wins do you think he has a place for you and Damien. Do you think Crowbar will give you anymore title shots. The answer to these questions are no. Crowbar wants to destroy WARPED, Crowbar wants to burn this place to the ground he has no place for you or Damien. So Leon later tonight we face Kandi and her to over grown pet chimps no bullshit if you got my back I got yours.
Now for everybody Jason Richards, Daniels and the rest of WARPED the time is now. The time is now to stand up and give Crowbar the finger and smash him in the mouth. The stealing from us and all the people that pay to us perform in this ring. We all are here because of this ring, we are here because two men had a vision and goal to put on the best damn wrestling show on this earth. Now some fucking half breed Aussie and his two retard henchmen wanna destroy this place just because they can not on my fucking..............Look I am PKA and I am not an WARPED original, but I am a WARPED wrestler and this my home, and I carry the WARPED banner into battle by myself or with an army I am taking the fight to Crowbar and I am starting tonight.
Hugo rolls out of the ring and goes over the commentary table and stares at Kris Red.
Hugo: You have been running your mouth since you joined the AbortionZ. You have made some rude comments about me and other people.Now the time has come to pay the piper and for today the piper will be played by me.
Hugo jacks Kris Red in the jaw and then drags him to the ring.
Hugo: See your little gang the AbortionZ have been pretty untouchable as of late. You guys have running rough shot over WARPED and the talent here like you guys own this place. And every time we tried to strike back you guys always knocked us down. Now I had to find a weakness I had to find where a spot where AbortionZ was weak.
Kris lays on the mat looking up at Hugo. He shouts out "There are no weak links in AbominationZ!"
Hugo: No you silly rabbit you are the weak link; you are the exposed nerve and I am going to exploit right now.
Hugo floors Kris Red to the mat with a very stiff left and then he grabs Kris Reds leg and starts to apply the Canadian deathlock. Kris Red screams out in pain.
Hugo: Crowbar come on out or I break Kris' s leg. Oh if any of your goons come out I will break Kris’s leg. So come on down here and you and I are going play make a wish tonight or I break Kris's leg. So come on out here and let’s play shall we.
"Afraid of Me" by Twiztid hits as the crowd start to jeer. Crowbar steps out, microphone in hand.
Crowbar: "Can't a man work in peace?"
Hugo:Hold a second I can't hear you over all the screaming somebody is scream like a bitch in here.
Using his heel Hugo starts to smash Kris Red in the face and yelling at him "Kris shut up the adults are trying to talk and all your screaming is making you look like a baby." Kris spits out some blood and cries for Crowbar to help him.
Hugo :where were we oh yeah you about to grant my wish.
Crowbar: "What the fuck am I? the Make a Wish foundation?"
Crowbar sighs and shakes his head
Crowbar: "Alright, what is it?"
Hugo: My wish well since Kandi Whoreington is walking out I want to be named the Squarian and the title shot with it.
Crowbar: "Title match? What? Against Wallace? I think you're hallucinating a bit there..."
Hugo laughs at Crowbar.
Hugo: Grant it or I break his leg!
Hugo cranks on Kris' s leg and Kris screams out in pain.
Crowbar: "Well it's no secret that Kandi's last night is tonight and she is the Squarian holder! Now you didn't earn the Squarian but you did just earn yourself an ass kicking based on what you're doing there. So you let Kris go now and I'll gladly inform Wallace that he's got a shot at beating your ass at WARPED80."
Hugo lets Kris Red go and smirks.
Hugo: "You're looking at the next World Champion!!"
Crowbar drops the mic on the stage with a smile and walks backstage.
EVOLUTION CHAMPIONSHIP TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
Randy Long: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the Evolution Championship! Already in the ring - he is a Co-Evolution Champion: Hugo Strange!"
Dream on by Aerosmith plays on the speakers Leon Stone walks to the ring dressed in knee length, loose wrestling trunks. They are burnt orange with black seams. Damien Baine is at his side. Stone makes his way down the aisle. He makes his way into the ring. Leon Stone is standing in the ring with a microphone in hand, he looks around to the crowd and smiles.
Leon: “ You know what? I think I am starting to see where Hugo was coming from, I have been hiding in the back while this group of ass holes takes over Warped, I preach about how much this company means to me, and I go on and on about how I am the good guy but I do nothing to back it up, well I'll tell you right now that's all about to change.”
Leon smiles as the darkness appears on his face.
Leon: “Abominationz, go ahead and add me to your list of enemies, I refuse to stand back any longer and watch you ruin everything that this company stands for, this company has done way to much for me, and all you mother fuckers are gonna throw it all away I mean really? People like you are what is ruining wrestling as a respected sport. I preach my self as a Warped Warrior, and it is about time I actually hold up my side of the bargain, I am a Warped Warrior and I will fight for this company I will stomp all over each and every person that tries to tear this company apart.”
Leon: “I don't care if that means I have to beat the shit out of, Starrzoe, Crowbar, Wallace, Kandi, or anyone else that wants to destroy this company I love. Like I said I have preached about being a Warrior of Warped and I will now stand up for what I have been saying, Hugo called me out and I'm man enough to say that I am doing something right by not standing up and fighting back. So Hugo, after tonight, you got your self an ally... “
Leon: “Well as far as this Abominationz thing goes you have an ally. So mark the date Leon Stone is finally going to stand up for the thing he has been saying and be the Warped Warrior that he has been preaching about, this may be good news for some but it's damn sure bad news for Abominationz. “
Leon: “Now lets get this fucking match on the go I have a title to win. “
Hugo Strange is shown at ringside as he nods his head in approval.
Randy Long: "And finally - also a Co-Evolution Champion - Kandi Washington."
"Get Naked" by Method of Mayhem ft. Lil Kim as Kandi makes her way out to the ring, her custom Evolution Title over her shoulder, and being accompanied by Ice and Drake Knight.
Tony D: "Well Kris are you feeling any better? It's time for an epic Evolution Title Triple Threat match!"
Kris Red: "..."
With all three stand in the ring staring at each other, the bell sounds. Kandi starts by yelling at both of them Hugo yawns and Leon rolls his eyes. Then both men slug her right in the mouth snd dropping her. Ice climbs up on the apron but Damien Biane pulls her down and drags her to the back.
Drake Knight rolls into the ring and stands over the hurt Kandi. Hugo and Leon look at each other shrug and hit him with stiff left and rights. Hugo grabs Drake and irish whips him and Leon hits the spear on him. Hugo rolls out of the ring and geabs a table and a chair and tosses them into the ring. Leon is mounted on top of Drake land lefts and rights. Kandi gets to feet her nose and mouth have been busted open. Kandi starts to have a hissy fit and grabs the chair.
As Evolution Championship match draws to a close, the crowd begins to boo loudly, drowning out the competition in the ring. Quietly, without notice and absent of his entrance music or his stable mates, Alexander StarrZoë has made his way into the ringside area. The former AbominationZ World Champion stands at the top of the entrance ramp, quietly surveying the scene before him. Starr lights a cigarette as he paces back and forth, watching the referee stir the wrestlers in the ring, getting order back into the situation and waiting for Randy Long to announce the winner of the match. The fans are still booing the appearance of the former World Champion, who has made his presence known but not his purpose for being out at ringside.
Tony D: “What is Starr doing out here? He has no business at ringside, this isn’t even an AbominationZ match.”
Kris Red: “The AbominationZ run WARPED. Any match could be their match if they so choose. Who are you to question anything they do? You wouldn’t want to piss off Starr by asking too many questions Tony, I don’t think he would have an issue coming over here and freeing up space at the announce table if you understand what I’m saying.”
Tony D: “I hope this doesn’t have anything to do with the exchange of words between Hugo Strange and Starr on Twitter earlier this week. Starr seemed to get pretty heated about the things Hugo was saying. He made some pretty serious comments regarding ending careers. Hugo better hope Starr isn’t here to make good on those promises.”
Kris Red: “I’m sure that if StarrZoë wanted to, Hugo would already be in a hospital. You always assume the worst of Alex, it’s not far Tony, it’s just not fair.”
Starr, without notice, points down the ramp at Hugo Strange.
Starr: “Soon, your time is coming soon, very soon in fact. You’ve brought this upon yourself Hugo. Accept the winds of change or be blown over by them. Remember, in this business, it’s all about money and I’m the one with the checkbook.”
StarrZoë turns and walks back up the ramp, leaving as quickly as he came, the entire arena, Hugo Strange included, confused and bewildered.
As Hugo enters the ring Kandi clubs him with the steel chair. Leon turns around and is met we ith a chair shot to the face. Drake gets up as Kandi tells him to set up the table. Kandi keeps hitting Leon and Hugo as Drake sets up the table. Leon is getting but Kandi gives him another massive chair shot to the face. Kandi tells Drake to get Hugo up on his feet. Drake. Pulls Hugo to his feet holding his arms behind him Kandi begans to slap and taunt Hugo.
Leon gets to his feet lets out a primal yell and goes running at Kandi with her back to her goes to hit the throwing stone.
Seeing the look on Drakes face Kandi rolls out of the way. Hugo elbows Drake and drops out of the way in a nick of time. Leon smash into Drake and both men topple over the top rope. Kandi leans over yelling at Drake to get up. Hugo spins Kandi around but Kandi kicks him in the balls. Hugo drops. Kandi starts running her mouth. Leon slides in the ring behind her. Leon gives a whistle Kandi turns and is met with throwing stones! He hooks the leg 1.....2......3!
The bell sounds1
Randy Long: "Here is your winner and the newwwwwwwwww Evolution Champion - Leon Stoooooone!"
Stone gets to his feet and is awarded both of the Evolution Titles. He throws Kandi's custom title to the mat and holds the real one high! Hugo Strange looks up at him from the mat as he clutches his groin. Leon Stone walks over and extends his hand and helps Hugo up and the two shake hands. Hugo raises Leon's arm in the air as the fans cheer.
MAIN EVENT- WILLIAM WALLACE & ALEXANDER STARRZOE vs DRAGONS UNLEASHED
A massive cheer goes up from the British fans for Glass Candy's "Candy Castle" and Laurel Anne Hardy and Evangelista walk out in new ring gear, wearing title belts. They're both carrying metal bottles; Laurel's is decorated with flower and butterfly stickers, just like the GFC World Tag Team Championship belt around her waist. She also has a mic in her hand. They interact with the fans much less than usual - they're just making a steady beeline for the ring.
Tony D: "We haven't heard much from The UK Dragons since WARPED 78, but they look all business tonight."
Kris Red: "Maybe the stupid assholes have learned to keep their mouths shut! They called out Starr, Wallace and Crowbar, and they got exactly what they deserved for it! And tonight Alex and William finish the job."
Evangelista has a quiet word with Randy Long as Laurel slides into the ring.
Laurel Anne Hardy: "What's up, London?"
Huge cheer. Evangelista joins her in the ring. Laurel adopts a sheepish, apologetic expression.
Laurel Anne Hardy: "So it pains me a lot to say to you all here, now, tonight... we were wrong. Me an' Leanne. We were wrong."
Laurel Anne Hardy: "We swore we wouldn't let this company die... but after the events of last couple of weeks, we've come to realise how wrong we were. This company needs to die. This company will die... and we will be the ones to pull the trigger. We've killed a wrestling company before... an' we're gonna do it again."
Okay, so, less cheering for that.
Laurel Anne Hardy: "This company... AbominationZ Wrestling... will die. An' I promise that when AbominationZ Wrestling is dead, Leanne an' myself will on the frontline of people laying down the foundations for WARPED to come back, an AbominationZ-free WARPED, better than ever."
Aaaaand back to cheering!
Laurel Anne Hardy: "Hang on, I'm parched."
She sets her own bottle down and gestures to Evangelista for hers. Leanne hands it to her, and Laurel takes a grateful drink, then hands it back and picks her own bottle up again.
Laurel Anne Hardy: "Oh, that's better. Thanks. Now, where was I... oh aye. There are still a few good people in WARPED, it seems. Hugo, Dylan, Jason, Leon - they’re all on the right side in this. But is it enough to have a bunch of individual stars, who all don’t really get on with each other, go up against a team who’ve been together for six months? To be perfectly honest we’re not sure. So we, ah... we got on the blower to some friends of ours."
A murmur ripples through the fans... and about half the crowd jump to their feet as Hell Within's "Asylum of the Human Predator" hits the speakers. A young man walks onstage, hands in his jeans pockets, baseball cap over his eyes, and a wry smile playing on his face as he scans the crowd who give him a warm pop.
Tony D: "Matt Kail! Pro Wrestling FRONTIER's Matt Kail, here in WARPED!"
Matt's joined by a serious-faced woman with brightly-dyed hair, and she's followed by two men who are physically quite small, but take up a ton of room with their confident, showy body language. Behind them all strides a seven-foot gargantua, an imposing black mask covering his features.
Tony D: "Serena Raine! Three time GEW Tag Team Champions Spades and Blakjak, The Jokers Wild! And the colossal Cerberus, a multi-time World Champion! I don't believe it - it's The Asylum! It looks like The Asylum are back together and they're in WARPED!"
Kris Red: "Yawn. Why should I even care?"
Tony D: "As Hardy alluded to, this group brought down the once-mighty Global Extreme Wrestling, and it looks like they're here to do the same to AbominationZ! But there's one missing..."
And on cue, the crowd on the stage parts. There's another surge of noise from the fans as a man walks out. He's of average height and build, but even through his mask, his anger and tension are palpable.
Tony D: "There he is! Noumenon! The enigmatic leader of The Asylum... some would say, the man who killed GEW!"
Noumenon strides straight down to the ring without pausing, and the rest of The Asylum fall in behind him. There's a mixed reaction for the group... even though they're here to oppose AbominationZ, there's still a lot of residual anger over their role in GEW's end. Noumenon slides straight into the ring and walks up to The UK Dragons, each of his arms embracing one of them around the neck, and the three of them bring their heads together in a symbol of unity. Then they break it off, and the Dragons greet the rest of their friends - they hug Matt and Serena, high five The Jokers Wild, and shake hands with the monstrous Cerberus.
Tony D: "The Asylum are back in business and they’re in WARPED!”
Their reunion is interrupted however by Psyko Dalek’s “Crank.” William Wallace emerges front and centre with the World Championship around his waist. Alexander StarrZoe is on one of his flanks, Crowbar on the other. Kandi Washington's next to Crowbar, and trailing all of them are the gargantuan forms of Drake Knight and Ice.
Kris Red: "Finally the good guys show up! Here's a quality group. All The Asylum should be doing right now is bowing and taking notes."
AbominationZ hit the ring and get up close to The Asylum. Clearly neither group is intimidated by the other and there’s some jawing and lots of aggressive body language. The referee warns them to take their corners and let the scheduled match begin. They all oblige... for now.
Randy Long: "At a combined weight of 278lbs, representing The Asylum... the GFC World Tag Team Champions, Evangelista and Laurel Anne Hardy... DRAGONS! UNLEASHED!"
Massive cheer from the British fans as Laurel and Leanne jump on opposite turnbuckles and pose.
Randy Long: "And their opponents... at a combined weight of 491lbs, representing AbominationZ... STAAARRR and the Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOORLD, WILLIAM! WALLACE!"
Boos rain down, and Starr and Wallace give exactly no fucks. While AbominationZ take one corner and the newly-rechristened Dragons Unleashed take the other, their two respective stables fill up much of the ringside area. There are some dirty looks and aggressive body language flying between them, but no actual confrontation... at least, not yet. Wallace turns to have a word with Starr, at the same moment the bell rings, and springs forward. She starts laying in a flurry of open fists on him which get progressively less open, until the ref has to admonish her for closed fist punches. She turns to the ref angrily, which is all the opening Wallace needs to knock her down with a big boot.
Kris Red: "Yeah, smart one, Laurel. That was gonna work against a beast like Willie for all of no seconds.”
Wallace hauls Hardy up by the hair and into a bearhug. He smirks as he walks around the ring squeezing the air out of her, then he casually slips her overhead into a military press. He does a few bench presses with her before throwing her into the corner. She lands on the ringpost awkwardly, and Wallace shoves her down against the turnbuckles roughly, spins her round so she’s facing front, and gives her a massive backhand chop across the collarbone followed by an open fist punch to the ribcage which doubles her over.
Tony D: "The champion showing off his incredible strength! Hardy might be smaller than most of his opponents but she’s still a grown adult and he’s tossing her around like a ragdoll.”
Kris Red: "Grown adult? Maybe physically...”
Again Wallace grabs his opponent by her long black hair and swings her out into the middle of the ring, then yanks her back in as he turns and plants her with a massive spinebuster. He covers.
Tony D: "Not enough this early on.”
Wallace tosses Hardy into AbominationZ’ corner and tags in Starr. Starr makes to punch her, but draws his hand back and asks the rest of AbominationZ if any of them have some disinfectant. Hardy starts hobbling towards her corner, but Starr whips her round and flattens her with a roundhouse to the head. Cover...
No, kickout! She pushes herself upright again but Starr ducks behind her and wraps his arms around her waist - then shakes his head and moves them up onto her breasts. From there, he flips her over in a modified German suplex. This time, she doesn’t get back to her feet. Starr kneels down, then lies out on his stomach, his head near hers. He peers at her with one eye squinting theatrically, then pulls back the side of his eye and twists his face into an offensive Chinese stereotype.
Tony D: "Oh, this is disgusting!”
Kris Red: "Listen to these idiot fans booing him! Whatever happened to freedom of speech!?”
Wallace waves at Starr to end this match now, so Starr hoists Laurel up on his shoulders, looking for the Smoker’s Special, but Hardy manages to spring off his shoulders before he can get her arms locked in. She slaps Evangelista’s outstretched hand and the smaller Dragon leaps onto the top rope, and vaults out with a huge dropkick which takes Starr down as he’s turning to see where Hardy went.
Kris Red: "NO! She’s not allowed to do that!”
Evangelista boots Starr hard in the spine as he’s sitting up, then locks in a dragon sleeper and starts pulling backwards.
Tony D: “Looks like she might be going for the Lime Street Loop already!”
Kris Red: “That pussy excuse for a submission! Let her. Alex would never tap to that.”
Indeed, she starts trying to hook his legs, but without much success, and he manages to twist sideways to get a boot against the bottom rope. The ref urges the break and she releases right on the five... or maybe a moment after. She reaches in for him again but he kicks her away, and they both get back to their feet at around the same time. They rush each other and Starr takes the lead with a massive whip into the ropes and a knee strike on Evangelista’s return. She flips head over heels... and manages to land on her feet, albeit unsteadily! Starr grabs her arms from behind but she catches him with a mule kick to the gut, switches behind him with a hammerlock and dips into a hiptoss style takedown, dropping him on his ass. She swings round for a shoot kick to the face, but he grabs her leg and uses that to roll her up for a pin.
She powers out of it. He whips her into the ropes again and she rebounds... ducks the roundhouse attempt, bounces off the other side and leaps onto Starr’s back. She tornadoes right around him and as she comes down, sweeps his leg out, sending him crashing to the canvas. She crawls over him, hooking both legs.
Tony D: “Near fall from the Pinay Legsweep, what an upset that would have been!”
Evangelista drops a knee on Starr. Hardy, on the apron, calls for a tag and Evangelista - while staying in place with her knee pressed into starr’s head - stretches back as far as she can so they can slap their fingertips together. As soon as the tag is made, Hardy climbs the corner and leaps off in a very theatrical senton bomb. The ref hustles Leanne out of the ring while Hardy drags Starr to his feet by his ponytail and the straps of his singlet.
Tony D: “StarrZoe may be in trouble here!”
Kris Red: “He’ll be fine. He’s just playing possum.”
She pushes him against the corner, wheels her arms around and slams a double palm into his chest. Half the audience cries out “HADOUKEN!” along with her. She then whips Starr into his own corner and charges in with a high running knee. Wallace grabs her but she ducks into a capoeira kick and knocks the champ off the apron! She then mounts the ropes and treats the rest of AbominationZ to a pair of middle fingers, then starts laying palms into Alex’s head. Kandi hops up and makes like she’s going to attack Hardy, but the ref gets in the way before instructing Hardy not to antagonise AbominationZ. Laurel shrugs and hops round 180 degrees while still straddling the ropes and starts shaking her ass around before butt-bumping Starr right in the face.
Kris Red: “She can’t do that! Who the hell does she think she is, doing something like that to one of the all-time greats!?”
As she leaps back down to the centre of the ring the crowd give her an ovation for the disrespectful move, and she takes a very stagey bow with a big flourish of her arms. She turns back to her opponent - and is levelled with a huge clothesline from Starr who’d literally sprung himself out of the corner using the ropes! He dives back and tags Wallace.
Tony D: “Never underestimate Starr’s explosiveness.”
The WARPED Champion walks up to Hardy slowly and casually as she stands, arms folded, and instructs her to take her best shot. She raises one unimpressed eyebrow at him and turns her back on him... then backflips into a pele kick! It’s not what Wallace was expecting, but he still manages to sidestep it and push down on Hardy’s back as she goes past him, slamming her into the mat.
Tony D: “What a counter! Credit to Hardy for trying something left-field, but Wallace is just too savvy!”
Kris Red: “Why do you sound so surprised, Tony D? He’s a two-time AbominationZ World Champion for a reason! He could have countered anything she could have done there.”
Wallace hauls Laurel up in a full nelson, swings her around for a bit, her feet dangling in the air, and then slams her back down. He follows that up with a big leg drop, staying in place for the pin.
She rolls a shoulder. Wallace stands again... then falls into another leg drop. And another. And another! Finally he remains standing and kicks at her lifeless form with his toe. Starr is back up now, and calls for the tag. Wallace obliges, then backs into the ropes and runs into a fist drop to Hardy’s head. Starr stands over her yelling racist abuse, then plants a foot on her backside.
Starr: “Proud of your flabby ass, you fat chinky bitch?”
And he stomps her in the tailbone as hard as he can. Her head jerks up, eyes closed and mouth open in pain. He kicks her in the ribs, then backs up and nails the P Cubed. He throws her into the AbominationZ corner and tags William again.
Tony D: “Looks like Laurel’s flurry of innovative offence is over...”
Kris Red: “And all she managed to do with it is piss Starr off!”
The two AbominationZ members just start going to town on the Dragon with boots and palm strikes and it’s not long before she’s reduced to a motionless heap. Wallace hits a spinebuster, then lifts her up in an electric chair. Starr climbs to the top rope and sails off in a clothesline, and as he connects, Wallace drops backwards to slam Hardy into the mat. Evangelista’s stomping hard on the apron, trying to get her partner back in this. Starr just laughs derisively in her direction as he plants one foot on Hardy’s stomach for the pin attempt.
She flops a shoulder off the mat momentarily, enough to break the pin.
Tony D: “Hardy’s not looking good right now.”
Kris Red: “What else is new?”
Tony D: “You know what I mean...”
Starr tags Wallace back in, and Wallace circles her, stomping occasionally. Evangelista yells that he’s got a bald patch, and Wallace turns and points at her, and spits on Hardy.
Tony D: “It almost seems like real battle between these two teams is of who can be the most disrespectful.”
Wallace lifts Hardy up in a stalling vertical suplex.
Kris Red: “Sinister Urge!”
And indeed, he drops her into the powerslam. Then he picks her up by the hair again, clubs her on the back once, and flips her up onto his shoulders in powerbomb position, clearly deciding it’s time for the Freedom Drop. Laurel senses this too despite her woozy expression and starts punching him in the head repeatedly. A fan yells out that she’s trying to make his bald spot bigger and Wallace turns towards the sound. Hardy takes advantage of his momentary distraction with a knuckle spike to his ear, then one to his temple. He drops her and she lands on her feet in front of him, ducks under his leg as he goes for the big boot, and leaps towards Evangelista’s outstretched hand...
Tony D: “The roar of these fans is deafening! They want to see Evangelista back in this!”
...but it’s silenced as Wallace grabs Hardy and pulls her back to the middle of the ring. He spins her round to face him and goes for another bearhug, but she drops through his arms and carthweels away. He turns and she backflips onto his shoulders, and snaps him off his feet with a headscissor takedown to complete the L.A.H.O.O.Q.! He’s back up quickly but so is she, and she spikes him with her Flower Plower Mk.I neckbreaker! Both of them roll onto their backs, their respective partners screaming for tags while the fans chant “This is awesome!” and the two stables each bang on their sides of the apron.
Tony D: “Hardy digs deep and buys some time, but now she has to find the will to capitalise... and Wallace is already stirring again.”
Laurel rolls onto her front again and crawls towards her corner. Evangelista helps her under the bottom rope and hands her one of the water bottles, the one without the stickers on it. Laurel takes a long, grateful drink, finishes it, and starts on the other bottle. In the ring, Starr begins slowly making his way to his corner, with the rest of AbominationZ calling him towards them. Meanwhile Evangelista reaches into her boot and pulls out a strip of cardboard; Hardy pulls out two long, thin wooden sticks from her own, and hands one to her partner.
Kris Red: “What are the Dragons doing? Whatever they’re doing it’s obviously illegal! REF! DQ right there!”
Starr slides in and pulls Wallace the last couple of feet and tags himself in while Crowbar and Washington tend to their ally. When the champ realises what’s going on he pushes through the pain and forces himself upright, and he and Starr both turn towards the Dragons Unleashed corner, where Hardy and Evangelista are both stood in the ring waiting for them. The young women strike the matches in their hands... and the whole arena lights up bright orange as the Dragons breathe out two massive plumes of flame!
Kris Red: "What the fuck!?"
Tony D: "Oh my god, we could feel the heat of that from here!"
Starr and Wallace aren't burned, but they're completely disoriented, and they fall back against the ropes in the corner. Hardy and Evangelista nod to each other and charge in with tandem shining wizards!
Tony D: "They weren't kidding when they warned about Dragons breathing fire!"
The referee grabs the Dragons and admonishes them for their firebreathing stunt, warning them that if they try that again they'll be disqualified. Hardy returns to their corner and rolls to ringside, finally letting her pain catch up with her. Evangelista meanwhile kicks Starr through the ropes and then boots Wallace in the head. Slowly, she drags his heavy form away from the ropes and goes for an ankle lock, but he kicks her away and jumps to his feet. She turns back towards him, but he levels her with a spear! He catches his breath as she rolls around, then grabs her by the hair, walks her across the ring and then just swings her around and throws her over the top rope, sending her crashing into the rest of The Asylum. Cerberus climbs up on the apron and dares Wallace to step closer... which is exactly what Wallace does. The two men come face-to-masked-face.
Kris Red: "The champion showing that he’s not scared of this giant freak at all!”
Wallace and Cerberus exchange words - and Hardy leaps from the top of the ringpost in a double stomp to the top of Wallace’s head! He staggers back clutching his skull, and Cerberus shoves him into the middle of the ring. But as soon as he’s done that, Starr dives across the ring in a flying kick which knocks Cerberus right off the apron! Alex then runs up the turnbuckles of the Dragons’ corner and in the same motion vaults into The Asylum crowd with an Air Philly, dominoing them all down.
Tony D: "What a move!”
Kris Red: "Pure Starr brilliance, Tony D!”
But The Asylum members recover quickly and soon have StarrZoe surrounded. AbominationZ start rounding the ring to make the save, but Laurel runs the ropes and drops into cartwheel, into a roundoff, into a moonsault over the top rope to take them down! The last remaining person in the ring, William Wallace, slides out and grabs Laurel, and slams her into the barrier. The Jokers Wild run round to her aid, and are met by Ice and Drake Knight, and the whole ringside area collapses into one giant brawl.
Tony D: "This is chaos... AbominationZ and The Asylum have both given up on any sense of restraint and now it’s just gang warfare!”
Indeed, the two factions are brutalising each other with whatever comes to hand. It’s impossible to follow everything, as everyone is pretty much just attacking everyone on the other side. The referee waves his arms and signals for the bell.
Randy Long: "Ladies and gentlemen, this match has gone to a no-contest!”
Neither the four active wrestlers nor their assorted allies pay this any attention at all. They just keep brawling. AbominationZ are outnumbered, but this is their home turf, and they’re fighting with everything they’ve got. Crowbar smacks Matt Kail’s head into the barrier while Kandi Washington pushes a fan off his chair and steals his seat, and starts bashing any Asylum member she can see. However, Noumenon pulls the chair out of her hands from behind. Realising what’s about to happen, she rolls aside from danger as he swings the chair towards her. Ice and Drake spot their mistress in trouble and advance on Noumenon, but the Jokers Wild appear by his side.
Tony D: "AbominationZ are fighting strong, but they’re outnumbered... how long can they hold on?”
Kris Red: "Forever! If you say otherwise that’s biased commentating, Tony D.”
A cheer goes up as Dylan Daniels runs onstage, with Leon Stone, Damien Baine, Hugo Strange and Jason Richards coming after him.
Tony D: "Here come WARPED’s seikigun! Clearly they don’t want to pass up this chance to stick one to The Asylum!”
Kris Red: "That is not fair! That is not fair. They had nothing to do with this match.”
Tony D: "And AbominationZ of course are all about playing fair...”
Kris Red: "Absolutely!”
Noumenon rolls Kandi into the ring as the WARPED roster members start turning the tide of battle back against AbominationZ. Wallace attacks Noumenon from behind before he can enter, and the two men start slugging each other.
Tony D: "Wait... what’s Hardy doing?”
Laurel climbs the corner from the outside and leaps off onto Kandi, driving an elbow into her with the Stronger Than Dirt. Evangelista slides in and drills Washington with a Headbreaker immediately afterwards, then picks her back up in an inverted facelock. Hardy’s back on the top rope, and Dragons Unleashed drop Kandi with their Warped Frontier combination diving splash plus double knees to the back of the head. Kandi flops to the canvas and ain’t moving. Hugo Strange enters the ring, smiling as he looks down at his nemesis. The Dragons step back and gesture to Kandi that she’s all his.
Tony D: "The Dragons have already sent a message with those finishers to Kandi... now it’s Hugo’s turn!”
Kris Red: "This is sacrilege! Kandi’s ten times the star, the wrestler and the person Hugo is!”
Strange kneels down next to Kandi and prods her a bit, then lifts her up across his shoulders. He parades around with her while the Dragons cheer him on, soaking in the noise being made for what’s about to happen. He raises one fist for a moment, and then slams Kandi into the canvas with the Moose Killer!
Kris Red: "NOOOOO!”
Strange rolls back to one knee, arms spread. At ringside, the rest of AbominationZ are succumbing to the numbers game. Starr is still on his feet however, and evades a chair swung by Matt. He runs towards the ring steps, leaps onto them and vaults over in a somersault dive which wipes out Jason and the Jokers Wild, then rolls to his feet and grabs Damien around the waist, sending him soaring overhead and into the barricade with a high angle German suplex. Starr immediately pushes himself back up - and is rocked by a massive punch from Cerberus.
Kris Red: "This is not happening. This is not happening!”
The Dragons slide out and grab Starr, pulling him into the crowd. Cerberus steps after them while the rest of The Asylum and WARPED keep AbominationZ from coming to Alex’s aid. Cerberus and the Dragons drag him through the audience and right through a door! We loste visual for a moment, then another camera fires up to see Cerberus and the Dragons dragging Starr through the foyer, and out to the car park!
Tony D: "What are they doing... this isn’t just a beatdown, they obviously have something planned!”
A circle forms around the scene in the car park. While the man-mountain that is Cerberus hoists Starr up, Evangelista and Laurel join the side of Serena Raine, who's tending a lit brazier. They lean in close to the camera, both angry as hell.
Evangelista: "AbominationZ, we warned you. Didn't we fucking warn you?"
Laurel Anne Hardy: "We told you that when you play games with Dragons, you're playing with fire."
Hardy pulls on a welding glove...
Laurel Anne Hardy: "But you kept playing games with us."
...and pulls a long metal pole out of the brazier.
Laurel Anne Hardy: "And now you've got nobody to blame but yourselves..."
A yellow-orange glow fills the screen as she holds it up to the camera. The light coalesces into the outline of a Japanese-style dragon. In the background, Cerberus and Serena rip Starr's singlet away and hold him tight so he can't escape.
Laurel Anne Hardy: "...when you get burned."
And she rams the brand into Starr's ribcage. A sickening hiss fills the air as his flesh scorches, and all other noise seems to cease as everyone is too stunned to react. The silence is broken by the enraged Starr.
Starr: "Ah! YOU FUCKING SLANTY EYED CUNT! I WILL KILL YOU! I'M GOING TO POP YOUR EYES OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND SKULL FUCK YOU, I SWEAR TO GOD!”
Hardy casually retracts the brand and shoves it back in the brazier, leaving a blistering red dragon symbol scorched into Starr's skin. She gives the glowing burn a stiff backhand strike.
Starr: “Ah! I promise you, you stupid bitch, you will pay for this, all of you will pay. I will make your lives a living hell. The AbominationZ will destroy you all."
Laurel ignores him and turns her head back to the camera, shooting a look of pure malice through the long black hair hanging over her eyes, Evangelista visible behind her with her arms folded and her eyes icily cold. Laurel smiles a sick smile and says quietly:
Laurel Anne Hardy: "Stay fabulous."
On that image, the broadcast fades out.
11 Nov 2015
6 Nov 2015
"La Flama Blanca is a straight up piece of s@%# coward!"
- Chris Hopper