The Monday Night Victory logo fades in from black and dominates the screen. As it does, James Brown starts kickin’ it with “Living in America,” and the logo pulses until we hit the first chorus. As it drifts into the background, we switch to the arena, and the camera pans around hordes and hordes of screaming fans.
As we come along the other side of the fans, the camera pans down to an upward angle. Suddenly a series of red, white, and blue pyrotechnics begin to explode on the stage. We catch a few fan signs as the camera’s swishes by...
MARRY ME, MJ!
CALAMURRAY: THE TASTIEST SQUID!
SANTA GOT A SCOOP SLAM FOR CHRISTMAS!
WE MISS YOU, AGENT HALL!
SAY “HELLO” TO HEADLOCK!
From the ring post, red, then blue sparklers begin to crackle up from tops. As the music fades out, the fans are even louder and we pan down to the commentator's booth where Dr. Emo and Jennifer Williams are standing by.
Williams: Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to another episode of UTA Victory, LIVE from the Kellogg Arena in Battle Creek Michigan! I’m Jennifer Williams, and alongside me once again… it’s Dr. Emo!
Emo: Thank you, Jennifer, and we have a very interesting night of wrestling ahead of us! None of Eric Dane’s Pantheon members are in-action as we roll towards Seasons Beatings, but it’s still a star-studded line-up!
Williams: In our opener, the ever-game B.R. Ellis takes on the incomparable Jack Hunter, who’ll be looking to add yet another digit to the infamous New Streak!
Emo: Then the new Prodigy Champion, Lew Smith, takes-on Santa Claus in non-title action!
Williams: Amy Harrison’s short reign ended last week when Lew took advantage of an argument between Amy and the guest ref, MVC. It’ll also be interesting to see what kinda condition Santa Claus is in after the Scoop Slam Heard Around the World™!
Emo: And if that wasn’t enough, Lisil Jackson – the Jamaican Ninja Warrior – takes-on newcomer Carny Sinclair! After last week’s altercation with Mikey Unlikely, you’ve gotta imagine Lisil will be wrestling with eyes on the back of his head tonight.
Williams: I don’t doubt it for a second! After that we’ve got Jeff Andrews taking on former World Champion Yoshii, a man who fell to Lisil last week.
Emo: For the second week in a row, Jeff Andrews wrestles a morbidly obese person! Let’s see if he can repeat last week’s incredible feat of strength…
Williams: And in our main event… oh boy, it’s Cayle Murray vs. Will Haynes! I can’t wait for this one, Doc!
Emo: This is one of the most interesting match-ups we’ve seen in a while. Murray ran to Haynes’ aid last week, and they’re generally regarded as the two most popular wrestlers on the roster. Tonight, however, they’ve gotta duke it out.
Williams: These men have just emerged from two of the bloodiest feuds the UTA has ever seen, but there’ll be no ill will or hammer-throwing in this one! Perhaps they’ll relish the change of pace…
Emo: Or perhaps they’ll stand there shaking hands and patting backs for 20 minutes!
Williams: I doubt that very highly Doc! Either way, let’s get this show on the road…
The Parking Garage, to be specific.
Things are mostly quiet, this particular level being cordoned off for Kellogg Arena staff and UTA Superstars helps that immensely. The huddled masses have mostly already packed into the building, so this makes the perfect time for a fashionably late entrance.
As if on cue two headlights emerge from around a corner in the parking structure and the most beautiful gunmetal grey stretched and armored Rolls Royce Phantom V that you’ve ever laid eyes on pulls slowly into the area. After circling once the limousine comes to a rest beside a red curb clearly marked NO PARKING. This doesn't phase anyone inside of the Phantom, not one bit.
The driver’s door pops open and a small man in a funny hat pops out and scurries around to the back suicide door and opens it to the rear of the car. A cloud of cigar smoke rolls out and a raptor-skin boot emerges from the car, followed by the rest of the William Westmancott “Ultimate Bespoke” four piece suit that wraps the UTA World Champion in a lightweight lover’s embrace.
That’s right, a $75,000 suit to go with those $32,000 Maybach sunshades that sit perched on the bridge of his nose like the Pope standing above his congregation at the Vatican. Eric Dane stands out of the car to his full height, straightens his tie and buttons the designer coat so as to look as perfect as possible at all times.
Following him out of the back of the limo is the black-and-red-masked Madman Szalinski and the the Wildfire Champion himself, Colton Thorpe. Both are dressed similarly (though somewhat less ridiculously extravagant) to the World Champion, only Thorpe’s sleeves have been conveniently left out of the entire tailoring process. The three of them exchange a few words before a voice shrieks from inside the back of the limo.
“Can you guys PLEASE take these friggin’ belts?!”
“Beautiful” Bobby Dean practically tosses Thorpe his Wildfire title belt. The World Champion cocks an eyebrow in Bobby’s direction that relates to him the sad shape he’s going to be in if he should decide to follow suit with the World title belt. Bobby, not as stupid as some people have enjoyed portraying him as, carefully hands the champion his crown jewel. The Champ shoulders the belt and Madman offers a hand to Bobby and helps to unpack the still just a bit too big for a limo but no longer in need of a crane for assistance grappler from the most luxurious ride he’s ever been in.
BBD: I’m never riding in a golf cart, ever again!
Dane: F(redacted)ck that golf cart, Bobby, champions ride in style.
It takes a bit more smoothing for Bobby’s custom tailored suit to look as it should, but he makes it a point to not take one step toward the building entrance until he looks just right. It’s a brand new day, suckers, and The Pantheon will not be outdressed, believe that. Just as the most fearsome foursome this side of the Mighty Mississip’ turn their attention toward the arena they are stopped in their tracks by the most Intrepid roving reporter in the UTA, one Rumor Man Stan! Stan, for his part, is dressed in a UTA polo and slacks and he looks like hot garbage standing next to the World Champion.
RMS: Mr. Dane, could I have a word with you?
The Only Star screws an eyebrow up, looks the Rumor Man up and down, and with the most disgusting look he could possibly muster without plastic surgery snorts at the journalist. The Wildfire Champion answers for him.
Thorpe: Nah, homeboy, we got sh(redacted)t to do.
Bobby Dean pipes up again.
BBD: That’s right! So scram!
Disparaged, the Rumor Man turns to leave. Before he gets very far the Champion beckons.
Dane: Staniel, hold on for just a minute.
Stan turns around, his eyes wide like a puppy dog hoping for a bit of attention even if it’s out of sympathy. Eric chuckles to himself, Szalinski let’s out an audible laugh.
Dane: If you should happen upon Cayle Murray this this evening, be a good lad and let him know that I’m looking for him, would you?
RMS: Sure thing, Eric.
The World Champion smirks and shoulders past him. Madman does the same, but pauses and gets face to masked face with Stan.
Szalinski: That’s Mr. Dane to the likes of you.
Madman pie-faces Stan as he walks by. Bobby Dean chortles his way behind his cohorts and as Colton Thorpe steps over the Rumor Man he piles on too.
Thorpe: AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT!
The Fiercest Foursome make their way into the building as the scene cuts.
Emo: You see that, Jen? That's how you make an entrance!
Williams: I certainly can't argue with that, but some very ominous words to set the tone tonight! If I were Cayle Murray, I'd be worried right now...
The camera runs backstage and sees Amy Harrison walk into the arena with a purpose. Kate Kincaid walks up to her to try to get an interview, but Amy does not stop walking.
Kincaid: Can I get a word, Ms Harrison?
Amy just keeps walking, not breaking her stride.
Kincaid: Ms. Harrison?
Amy turns to her with a slight look of disgust and impatience.
Harrison: Let me guess, you want me to talk about what happened at the last Victory, right?
Amy rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
Harrison: It all looked so promising, I had my first taste of UTA gold, and it was going to be nothing but good times for yours truly, but then someone decided to try to steal the spotlight from me once again!
She pulls her hair out of her head.
Harrison: You see, Marie Van Claudio can not stand the fact that I am just better than her in just about everything that I do, and I have proven that time and time again. Just look at everything that I’ve done here.
Amy holds out fingers of the accomplishments she’s done.
Harrison: I’ve beaten Hall of Famers, I’ve beaten promising upstarts, I’ve beaten people that Marie has gone up against but failed to beat, and more importantly, even though I can’t call myself champion anymore, at least I can say that I have been a UTA Champion before she did, and it took me less time to do it.
Amy keeps her eyes dead locked on Kate.
Harrison: The bottom line is this: Marie is jealous of me! Always has, always will. She was the one that brought me into the UTA in the first place, so all of this stuff that’s been going on with me being better than her in the UTA is pretty much all her fault. She has no one else to blame but herself.
Amy goes to grabs something, but the cameras don’t keep focus on it.
Harrison: And now that she decided to screw me out of being Prodigy Champion, let's just say that she’s in for a rude awakening.
Amy quickly walks away in her hunt to find Marie.
Williams: Wooow! Amy Harrison is pissed! But here's the kicker: Marie Van Claudio hasn't actually done anything wrong...
Emo: You're 100% right, but do you want to be the one to explain that to Amy? I certainly don't.
Switching back to ringside, B.R. Ellis is already in the ring, stretching his muscles and preparing for the forthcoming match-up. There’s no music playing.
Williams: Welcome back, folks, and it looks like it’s time for our first match of the evening!
Emo: It’s quite weird that this guy just keeps showing-up in the ring like this. No music, no walkout… nothing.
Williams: I guess some people just don’t like making a fuss.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, in the ring, from El Paso, Texas… he stands at 6’2” and weighs-in at 252lbs… “TEXAS BEST”… B! R! ELLLLLIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS!
Williams: A tough loss for B.R Ellis two weeks ago, but it would’ve taken a biblical effort to stop Cayle Murray on that kinda form. Let’s see if he can bounce back tonight.
Emo: If it’s a rebound win he’s looking for, he’s definitely fighting the right guy…
One of the most hideous musical compositions you’ve ever heard rips through the arena. It’s not just an instrumental version of Killswitch Engage’s “This Fire Burns”… it’s the song in MIDI format.
Emo: What the… ahhh! My ears!
The Little Bruiser himself, Jack Hunter, steps out from the backstage area, pushy a shopping card full of destructive implements in front of him. Hunter stops at the top of the ramp and lets out a hearty laugh, before making his way down to the ring.
Williams: Here comes one of the more off-kilter personalities in the UTA.
Emo: How diplomatic of you, Jen. Let’s call a spade a spade here: Jack Hunter is a complete idiot. What’s with the shopping trolley?
Williams: Looks like it’s full of weapons to me, but this isn’t a street fight. Heck, it’s not even a hardcore match…
Announcer: ... aaaaand his opponent! Making his way to the ring from The Streets, standing at 6’3” and weighing-in at 233lbs… he is “THE STREET FIGHTER”… JACK! HUNTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!
Jack starts tossing weapons into the ring as soon as he hits ringside. A trash can lid lands at Ellis’ feet, and a steel chair narrowly misses his head. The referee immediately rolls out of the ring as Jack blindly tosses a dented road sign over his shoulder.
Williams: Looks like the referee’s about to set Jack Hunter straight.
Emo: Heh, good luck communicating with that waste of oxygen.
Just as Hunter is about to throw a kendo stick into the mix, the referee grabs his wrist, stopping him. The Street Fighter casts a brainless look down at the poor official, unable to comprehend why he’s trying to stop him.
Emo: Jesus, Jack! This. Isn’t. A. Street. Fight!
Williams: I don’t envy the ref’s job right now…
Luckily for everyone involved, B.R. Ellis catches Jack with the baseball slid, sending him crashing into the trolley. Ellis slides out of the ring too, and clubs away on Jack’s back a couple of times before rolling him inside. The bell finally rings as Ellis hops to his feet, taking Hunter with him, then backing him into the corner.
Emo: Thank you, B.R. Ellis!
Williams: This one’s finally underway, and B.R. Ellis is hammering on Hunter!
Left, right, left, right, left, right. Blow after blow catches Jack in the gut, before Ellis scoops him up, turns, and slams him down in the middle of the ring.
Williams: Scoop slam! And now B.R. Ellis is cleaning-up the ring!
The Texan starts kicking some of Jack’s weapons out of the ring. By the time he’s done, Jack is back on his feet but clutching his back, so Ellis hits him with a couple of quick elbow strikes before whipping him across the ring. On the rebound, B.R. lifts the Little Bruiser and drives him down with a sidewalk slam.
Williams: Huge move! And now the cover…
But Jack gets a shoulder up!
Emo: Well, this is going as well as I’d hoped.
Williams: Ellis showed some real fire against Murray the other week, and it’s continuing tonight. Jack Hunter hasn’t had a look-in thus far.
Continuing the assault, B.R. keeps Jack grounded, hitting him with a couple of grounded elbows, before sitting Jack up and moving behind him. Ellis wraps his forearms around Hunter’s throat, but the Street Fight street fights through the sleeper hold, and slowly starts rising to his feet. Once vertical, Jack throws an elbow into Ellis’ ribs, then another, and squirms loose.
Williams: The Little Bruiser is free!
The newfound freedom doesn’t last long, though. Ellis absolutely clobbers him from behind, then drills him into the mat with a Russian Leg Sweep.
Kneeling, B.R. Ellis glances down at Hunter and considers his next move while recovering valuable stamina. Soon he’s back on his feet, and stomping hard on Hunter’s torso. Satisfied that Jack won’t get-up and surprise him, Ellis goes to the ropes, and comes back with a leg drop. He makes the cover.
No! Jack kicks out.
Williams: Another powerful move from B.R. Ellis, and this might just be the most dominant we’ve seen him in the UTA!
Emo: It’s hardly surprising, given the calibre of opponent. That said, Ellis has barely given him an inch since this one kicked-off, and he’s probably only a move or two from finishing it.
Williams: I think you’re underestimating Jack Hunter here, Doc. He’s been street fighting since he was 15 years old, you know.
As Dr. Emo sighs, Ellis takes Jack Hunter to his feet with a handful of hair. He pushes Jack against the ropes and winds-up a big overhand chop, but Jack lashes back, kicking Ellis in the gut and following with a knee. Ellis staggers, and Ellis picks him off his feet, then throws him down with a Spinebuster!
Williams: Down goes Ellis! The Street Fighter is back!
Emo: Oh goody.
Instead of capitalising, however, Hunter heads for the outside of the ring. He starts scanning the area for toys, and eventually lays his eyes on the trash can lid. Taking it back into the ring with him, Jack pulls it back, waiting for Ellis to rise.
Emo: For the love of God…
As B.R. Ellis clambers to a knelt position, the referee again intervenes. Hunter shouts something about street fighting as the ref positions himself between the two wrestlers.
Williams: Wow, how many times does he need to be told?
Emo: Have you heard the guy speak, Jen? He doesn’t know how to use words properly, so there’s not a chance in hell that he understands what the ref’s trying to tell him.
Ellis is up, and deeply fed-up of Hunter’s shenanigans. B.R. unceremoniously barges past the official and elbows Jack hard in the head, causing him to drop the weapon. Without pausing, Ellis throws Jack’s head under his arm, pulls on the waistband, and suplexes him down again. Getting back up, Ellis makes a cutthroat gesture with his thumb.
Williams: And it looks like B.R. Ellis is looking to wrap it up!
Emo: Good. Fold him like an accordion and get this one over with.
The Texan stalks his prey for a moment, then lurches forward, pulling him up. Jack’s not done yet, though! A swift eye gouge blindsides Ellis, and a facebuster takes him down!
Williams: Jack counters! The Little Bruiser lives!
Emo: Wait, what?! Hunter’s still in this?! I didn’t know he had it in him.
Emo: … wow, what was that?
Williams: That’s kinda what he does. Just roll with it.
Having cackled like a maniac, Jack uses his hands to cup his lips and calls out…
Williams: Oh no! Jack’s calling for it!
Emo: What am I even watching?!
As soon as Ellis reaches his feet, he falls into Jack Hunter’s trap.
Williams: COW DDT! HE GOT IT!
Having completed the most contrived, flippy, jumpy, spinny DDT you’ve ever seen, Jack drops to the mat and makes the cover.
Emo: What?! Jack Hunter actually won!?
Williams: The New Streak continues!
That terrible Killswitch Engage MIDI plays through the arena as Hunter gets to his feet, lifting his arms in celebration.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen here is your winner… JAAAAAAAAACK! HUNTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!
Williams: It just goes to show, Doc, whether human or bovine, as soon as Jack Hunter hits you with that Cow DDT, it’s over.
Emo: At least it’s finished now. That’s all I care about.
Williams: The setbacks keep piling-up for B.R. Ellis, but Jack Hunter can now look forward to his Hardcore Title shot at Seasons Beatings with newfound optimism!
Cayle Murray’s features occupy the screen for the first time this evening, drawing a big cheer from those in attendance. Tonight’s main eventer is casually dressed in a black and red track jacket with blue jeans: an outfit that probably cost no more than $20 to put together.
Williams: There’s a tight, pensive mood around Cayle tonight, Doc. The Pantheon have painted a huge target on the Scot, and the champ as good as confirmed this earlier.
Emo: That’s what happens when you mess with the Big Bad, Jen. There’ll be no relaxation for Cayle tonight – the wolves are coming…
He’s walking, Cayle, and his posture’s tight and rigid. In his heightened sense of alertness, he hears Rumour Man Stan coming long before Stan even opens his mouth.
Cayle turns and sees the UTA interviewer cantering towards him.
It takes a moment or two for Stan to catch his breath. He loosens his tie a little, giving the windpipe a little extra freedom.
Stan: I’ve got a message for you from the Panth—
Before Stan can finish, however, he’s interrupted by a strong, authoritative tone.
But not the tone Cayle Murray is expecting.
Perfection: He knows, Stan. Don’t insult the man’s intelligence.
Dressed in several thousand dollars’ worth of fine Italian tailoring, the number one contender to Eric Dane’s UTA World Championship slides into the scene. Cayle tenses-up, but Perfection’s attention is entirely focused on Stan Davis.
Perfection: Begone with you, ungrateful! Your services are no longer required.
Without quarrel, Stan does exactly as he’s told. Perfection watches the interviewer trot down the corridor, then finally turns to Murray when he’s satisfied Stan’s gone.
Perfection: Now then.
Witherhold smiles as he adjust the cuffs of his dress shirt to poke out more from under his suit jacket.
Murray: What do you need from me, James? Because I know you’re not with Dane...
James cuts Cayle off.
Perfection: It’s not what I need from you Cayle, it’s what you need from me. Come, let’s walk and talk.
Perfection puts his arm over Cayle’s shoulder, we can tell Murray is very uncomfortable as the camera moves to in front of them. James begins walking down the corridor leading Murray with him who shakes Perfection’s arm off.
Perfection: It would seem that certain events have thrown us together, Cayle. We’ve been bonded by a common enemy, one we both wish to destroy...The Pantheon.
Cayle stops in his tracks, prompting Perfection to do the same.
Murray: Right. The Pantheon… who could be around any one of these bends. I’m going no further, especially not with you...
His brow tightens as Perfection shakes his head while snickering.
Perfection: Someone’s a little paranoid.
Murray: I wasn’t born yesterday, lad. I know who you are, I know what you’ve done, and I know how you’ve built your legacy. How are you gonna convince me that what you’re tryna sell isn’t snake oil?
James smirks before poking his finger into Cayle’s chest .
Perfection: If I were YOU...I’d be wise about the offering about to be laid on the table before you end up having one more person trying to take you out!
Murray begins to lean forward into James finger before Perfection lifts it up and brushes off the spot smiling.
Perfection: The enemy of my enemy is my friend...in a sad and unfortunate sort of way. I have the biggest match of my career coming next week at Season’s Beatings. All eyes are on me...and Eric Dane has already made it clear he wants to take me out before the bell even rings, Cayle.
Witherhold pauses before putting a hand against his own chest.
Perfection: I’d rather have someone like you watching my back then allow Eric Dane and his pathetic mangled dogs get a piece of ‘Yours Truly’ before I get my time to shine...like always.
James looks at Cayle with sincerity that we can’t tell is truly sincere or merely bait.
Perfection: And I’m sure you don’t want to worry about what dwells on the other side of the bend every time you roam the halls.
Witherhold raises his arms slightly.
Perfection: So...you watch my back...and I’ll watch yours. Simple as that.
Witherhold turns and begins to walk away as the camera focuses on Cayle Murray.
Perfection: Think about it!
We close on a confused Cayle Murray.
Stan: Welcome one and all. It is I, your Rumor Man, Stan here to bring you the definitive interview of Frank Knoxx, UTA official.
The camera pulls back reveal Knoxx sitting to Stan’s right. Knoxx is wearing his referee stripes of course, a pair of black pants, and black sneakers. He gives a half hearted wave.
Stan: Frank Knoxx of course was the official during the “I Quit” Match between Will Haynes and Mikey Unlikely that went down at International Affair. The ending of that match, Frank if I’m being honest, is cloaked in a bit of controversy.
Knoxx: Hopefully I can clear some of that up, Stan.
Stan: We thank you for that of course, Frank. I understand that as an official if you wanted to remain silent you’re under no obligation to come on air. So let’s work our way through this thing. The match is heated. Will and Mikey threw some stiff shots. What were you thinking while these two were beating the crap out of one another?
Knoxx: I’ve worked some stiff contests in the past, but this was something else. Some of the shots those two took were unbelieveable. Some of the stiffest work I’ve seen in my career. I just wanted to keep everyone safe. I know Will has spent some time in the hospital over the past few months, I know Mikey is a big movie star. The last thing anyone needed was a catastrophic injury to either man.
Stan nods his head.
Stan: I agree with you there, Frank. No one in the UTA universe wants either man injured. Of that, I’m sure. So you’re there to make sure injuries don’t occur?
Frank nods his head. He reaches to a small side table. He comes up with a bottle of water, unscrews the top, takes a sip, puts the cap back on, and places the bottle back down.
Stan: Then what were your thoughts when Mary Jane got clobbered in the head with that chair shot from Will Haynes?
Frank takes a second to gather his thoughts and answers.
Knoxx: First off, Stan, I don’t think Haynes intended for that chair t -
Stan quickly raises his hand, interrupting Knox.
Stan: - just answer the question, what were your thoughts when Mary Jane got hit?
Knoxx is hesitant but answers the Rumor Man.
Knoxx: I thought she might need help. I motioned for the EMTs to come out. They were already on their way. They made good time. Got to her quick. Think that lead to her speedy recovery.
Stan: Was their any point, Frank, that you thought it best to remove Mary Jane from ringside? Perhaps for her own safety?
Knoxx: The EMTs gave me an all clear. They communicated to me that Mary Jane wanted to remain ringside for the duration. I had my hands full in the ring. I wasn’t going to argue.
Stan nods his head, appreciating the candor Knoxx is showing.
Stan: Frank, how much did Mary Jane’s throw of the towel factor into your decision to call for the bell and award the match to Will Haynes?
Knoxx: I don’t know if I can quantify that for you, Stan. Did it factor into my decision, yes it did, but I can’t say how much.
Just then there is a commotion outside. Voices are raised. Stan and Knoxx look at one another.
Stan: Any clue what that might be, Frank?
Knoxx: No idea, Stan. Do you?
Stan shakes his head, mouthing the word “No.” Then the door flings open, immediately the camera turns showing us none other than Mikey Unlikely, a step behind him reaching out to grab his arm is Mary Jane. She narrowly misses, Mikey closes the gap between him and Knoxx quickly, Knoxx stands up in anticipation.
Stan stands now, trying to step in.
Stan: Hey Mikey, whattya say we -
Mikey moves Rumor Man Stan aside. He points a finger into Frank Knoxx’s chest.
There’s a tense moment.
Unlikely: I’ve got some questions for you. And I better get answers, or else.
Unlikely cracks his knuckles. Mary Jane anxiously bites her nails over his shoulder.
Mary Jane: C’mon babe, we don’t haffta -
Mary Jane goes to grab Mikey’s arm. Mikey is quick to pull it away, out of her reach.
Unlikely: Shut it, you.
Unlikely turns his attention back to Knoxx.
Unlikely: What was that Frank? What the hell are you trying to prove? Don’t you know who the hell I am?
Unlikely surges forward only to be quickly turned around and slapped into a massive headlock. Lisil Jackson has stepped into the room to help cooler heads prevail. He wrenches a bit into the headlock, slowing Mikey’s breathing just enough. Jackson nods his head, hopefully this will calm the World’s Greatest Entertainer.
Jackson: Be cool, mon. Be cool. Dats da way, now.
Unlikely stares up at Jackson, quickly pushing off. Jackson let’s go, Mikey stumbles into Rumor Man Stan who helps steady him.
Stan: Easy there, Mikey. Why don’t we just let sleeping -
Unlikely: NO! I want some answers God damn it!
Unlikely goes to charge Knoxx. Lisil steps in the way, Unlikely is forced to slam on the breaks. He steps forward and stares Lisil down.
Jackson: Aye mon, no problems here. Aiight?
Unlikely: Problems? Problems? What the hell do you know about problems?
Jackson bites his lip, after all he’s just trying to help. He steps forward, agitated with the situation.
Jackson: I ain’t here ta start no trouble wit ya, despite what ya might tink.
Unlikely: Yeah, just like two weeks ago right? Listen boy, just stay the hell outta my business.
Jackson: Ya, or what mon?
Unlikely: Or you are going to have more business than you can handle!
There’s a second here where anything could happen. Maybe Lisil fires on Unlikely, Unlikely surges back at Knoxx. Mikey looks around the room.
Unlikely: Let’s go.
Unlikely holds his hand behind him, Mary Jane takes it on cue and out of the room they go.
Stan: Lisil, my man, good lookin’ out.
Lisil stares at the door after Mikey, nodding his head in response.
Williams: This situation is realyl escalating quickly, Doc.
Emo: I'm not sure where this is going, Jen, but I'm sure it isn't good for Lisil. Just look at Mikey's battles with Will Haynes.
Williams: Haynes technically "defeated" Mikey in the end, but it was a long, hard slog... Lisil needs to be careful with this guy.
In the back, we see Marie Van Claudio sitting in a makeup chair while Joan Kincaid is doing her hair for her. As she’s working on her hair, Kate Kincaid comes up to Marie.
Kincaid: Marie, may I please have a word with you?
Joan takes a step away from Marie while she looks at Kate. Eyeing her up and down, Marie gives a small smile.
Van Claudio: Sure, you can.
Kate looks at her and holds her microphone to Marie.
Kincaid: Last time on Victory, it seems that you had the people talking about you in a good way about your stint as a special guest referee and costing Amy Harrison her title.
Marie shakes her head at the comment she just made about “costing” Amy her title.
Van Claudio: Kate, I didn’t “cost” Amy her title, Amy made herself lose the title.
She keeps her eyes on Kate while Joan works on the back of her hair.
Van Claudio: When Michael Lorenzo saw me in the back when I walked through the curtain, he pulled me aside and said this.
She clears her throat.
Van Claudio, as she does her best Lorenzo impression: Miss Van Claudio, you’ve said a lot of strong words out there to Amy Harrison, but I want you to do something to get the people talking.
Kate keeps her eyes on her as she’s trying her best not to laugh.
Van Claudio, still doing the Lorenzo impression: I want you to be the special guest referee of the match and call it right down the middle! Show your Montreal fans that you mean business!
Marie snaps out of it.
Van Claudio: And I did. I went in the match and did what I was told.
Kincaid: I have to say I was impressed, but another question I have is, do you think Amy will be coming after you?
Marie raises an eyebrow.
Van Claudio: If Amy wants to whine about this match then that’s HER PROBLEM, not mine. She was barking at me the whole entire time. If she wasn’t than maybe she would still be champion.
She licks her bottom lip.
Van Claudio: If she wants to attack me, she can, but remember, Van Claudio’s fight back.
Kate looks at her as she nods.
Kincaid: Marie, thank you for your time.
Kate departs as Marie goes back to getting her hair fixed by Joan and talks to her a bit.
Williams: So there's the other side of the story. Something tells me we haven't heard the last of these two former friends tonight...
Stacy Sinclair: The following contest is set for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit! Introducing first! Hailing from Frimley, England, and weighing in at 216 lbs! He is the Ominous Angel… LEWWWW… SSMMMIIIIIITTTHHH!!!!
Pyro follows the quick heavy bursts of notes during the intro. Lights flicker along with the addition of fast guitar. Both pyro and lighting hit the last five notes before exploding with one final explosion of epic colours that fly across the runway and outward to the ring as the music progresses heavily on the word "GO!". The house lights gently rise as a figure quickly paces towards the ring, pointing out to the crowd both ways before turning a light jog into a sprint. The Ominous cloaked figure dives through the bottom of the ropes and slides to the centre to stand still during the verse, looking around scouting his fans, his critics, he removes the hood and unties the rope connecting the cape-like robe and chucks it out the ring. Clicking his neck, shoulders and fingers, he assumes a stance, ready to fight.
Williams: And there we see Lew Smith. He’s the reigning Prodigy Champion, but the title is not on the line tonight as he goes up against Santa Claus.
Dr. Emo: He won that belt from Amy Harrison only a week after she came back from what everyone was sure was certain death falling off a ladder and landing on the ropes. He also spent a good part of last year as Santa’s whipping boy, so it’ll be interesting to see how he handles this.
Sinclair: And his opponent! Accompanied by Mrs. Claus! Hailing from The North Pole, and weighing in at SEVEN HUNDRED pounds! SAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTA CLAUSSSS!!!
The big screen fades in to show a giant red sleigh being pulled by eight reindeer pull out behind the black curtain that separates the backstage area from the center of the arena. The air conditioning kicks on in the arena, and soon, all of the fans are plunged into a cold, chilly atmosphere. A light snow begins to fall from the rafters (blatantly shaved pieces of ice). Sitting inside the sleigh is the impressively huge mass of Santa Claus and his beautiful, young, hot wife Mrs. Claus, who smiles warmly at Santa as he drops the reigns and stands up in the sleigh. He looks around and smiles as he now hops down quite spryly for an "old" man. His false beard whips around in the wind.. giving quite a strange and bizarre look to a man wearing a Christmas outfit.
Dr. Emo: The cold hard facts here are that Santa has not been remotely successful since his UTA return. In fact, I had a look at his match history, and his last win here in UTA was way back on Victory XVIII - against none other than Lew Smith.
Williams: Like Smith alluded to in his promotional material, Santa’s been a thorn in his side for quite some time, but this is their first meeting since he adjusted his outlook.
Santa holds up his hand and helps his wife step down from the sleigh. Santa now reaches inside his sleigh and grabs one red and one black Christmas sack made out of crushed red and black velvet material, respectively. Santa chuckles to himself as he slings the sack around himself and catching it on the side of his back around his shoulder. He now hums a merry little Christmas tune as his face tics up into a friendly, yet mischievous smile. Mrs. Claus comes to a standing position next to her husband as he now climbs into the ring. He opens the crushed red velvet Christmas sack and begins to toss red and green wrapped Christmas gifts out into the fans. They rabidly stomp, shove and trample over one another just to get one of the gifts. Santa just chuckles inside the ring.
The black Christmas sack, however, remains closed and is currently resting in Santa's corner. He now pulls on the ropes and bellows out a mighty "HO...... HO...... HO!" at the top of his voice.. with the fans all chiming in right along with him. He now leans over in his corner as the big breasted Mrs. Claus whispers something to him, as they both await the referee’s instructions.
DING DING DING!!!
Williams: And there’s the bell, and Lew Smith is wasting no time!
Smith rushes forward with a jumping kick. The kick lands right on Santa’s solar plexus and seems to stun him even if it doesn’t move him at all, and Lew goes right to work with those assorted martial arts strikes. Fists, backfists, spinning backfists, palm strikes and elbows, all directed at Santa’s head.
Dr. Emo: Good thinking by Lew to attack Santa’s head, when you’re a diminutive 200 pounds like Smith is you’re not going to punch your way through all that padding Santa’s got. And for that matter that red velvet Santa’s wearing looks pretty cushy, did he ever get checked for wearing padding?
Lew fires a roundhouse kick at Santa’s head, but Santa blocks it and shoves Lew head over heels. He rumbles out of the corner but misses with the clothesline and Lew hits a jumping back kick to the back of Santa’s head before he can get turned around. This one wobbles the big guy. Lew dropkicks the back of the knee, sending him to one knee, then runs the ropes and hits a flying front kick to the jaw.
Williams: Down goes Santa, and Lew’s trying for the cover, he can’t even get that massive leg hooked!
...And Santa kicks out with such authority that Lew flies in the air and lands on his face!
Lew tries to get back up and keep the pressure on Santa, but he isn’t quite fast enough. As he tries a kick, Santa intercepts by catching the thigh and from there, lifts Smith up on his shoulders and runs him into the corner. But Smith’s been working on his ring awareness, so he’s out of the corner before Santa can get to work on delivering the Season’s Beatings! Santa turns around from missing the punch, and catches one of those weird two hand strikes from Lew right to the jaw!
Williams: I think that one rang his bell!
Dr. Emo: I’m not sure it did Jen.
In fact, Santa wipes a spot of blood from his lower lip. And before Smith can react, Santa grabs him by the head and pulls him into a kitchen sink knee, then knocks him for a spin with a standing clothesline!
Dr. Emo: Lew Smith puts a lot of finesse into his striking game, but you don’t need finesse behind a clothesline when it’s powered by 700 pounds.
Santa follows up by dropping a big elbow on Lew’s chest.
And Smith just barely kicks out.
Instead of trying to get up, Santa grips Smith’s arm and bends it into an americana.
Dr. Emo: Good thinking by Santa trying to use his weight here. You know, one thing that really bugs me about Santa-
Williams: His sunny disposition?
Dr. Emo: That too, but I was thinking of how he doesn’t have very good follow through. He’s got a surprising amount of skill for someone in his physical condition, but he’s too damn nice - passes up chances to win matches because he doesn’t want to do any permanent harm. If he’d just use his weight to his advantage and do some damage to Smith’s ribs, that’s all I’m saying.
Smith uses his flexibility to hit a couple of knees to the back of Santa’s head, and as soon as Santa loosens his grip, Smith slides out of the ring, but only as far as the apron. He sets up a springboard, jumps in - right into Santa’s clutches!
Williams: Kind of a spear...spinebuster… thing from Santa.
Dr. Emo: He plucked Smith out of the air and spiked him on the mat, it worked, it doesn’t need a name. Now follow up, dammit!
Santa arranges Lew perpendicular to the turnbuckle, then slowly and ponderously climbs up to the middle rope. He bounces a couple times, and -
Williams: Smith out of the way of that slingshot splash!
Lew tries to catch his breath. Santa’s up to one knee, then grabs the ropes and pulls himself up, and Lew pounces.
Williams: Heaven’s Judgment!
But there’s just one problem.
Dr. Emo: Lew can’t hook the bodyscissor half of it! Santa’s too fat!
Williams: What, last week Santa got scoop slammed by Jeff Andrews but this week we’re being realistic? Oh I mean, how is Lew going to finish Santa if his favored finisher won’t work?
And to make things worse for Lew, Santa easily snaps his arms free of the full nelson, and snap mares Smith over. Then he quickly applies the standing headscissor and tries to hook the arms.
Dr. Emo: Sleigh Ride coming up! Wait, no, he got loose.
Smith drops and slides between Santa’s legs. He throws a kick from his knees to the back of Santa’s leg, then gets up.
Williams: Thrust kick! Front kick! Enzui roundhouse!
That roundhouse rocked Santa, he starts wobbling on his knees. Lew jumps over the ropes, then springboards back in.
Williams: Springboard ganmengiri!
Dr. Emo: Did you hear the impact of that one?!
Williams: Santa’s on his back! Cover by Smith!
DING DING DING!!
Smith gets up with his hands raised.
Dr. Emo: Credit where it’s due, even if he couldn’t hook the Heaven’s Judgment on Santa, Lew found a way to keep him down for the three.
Smith doesn’t stick around after the post match, he just heads to the back, leaving Santa to slowly collect himself. The ever-lovely and disappointed Mrs. Claus tries to fuss over him, but Santa, looking uncharacteristically glum, doesn’t really respond to her, or much of anything else, as he heads straight to the back.
Williams: Santa has got to be getting frustrated here in UTA.
Dr. Emo: And he alluded to his being willing to try something else. Could this loss be what it takes to awaken his dormant killer instinct? We’ll be right back, fans!
Backstage, Jack Hunter is walking. Fresh-off his earlier match with B.R. Ellis, the Street Fighter wears a newly-printed “HASH TAG NEW STREAK!!!!” t-shirt. Nope, not “#NewStreak”: it’s literally “HASH Tag NEW STREAK!!!!” unnecessary exclamation marks and all.
Jack Hunter is an idiot.
Williams: A rare second appearance from The Little Bruiser himself! All kinds of people are coming out of the woodwork tonight.
Emo: Oh God, what have I done to deserve this?!
Hunter eventually reaches his destination: a door marked with Michael Lorenzo’s name on a gold plaque.
Instead of knocking like a regular human being, Jack ups his dukes, steadies himself, and starts peppering the door with punches.
Emo: What is he doing?!
Williams: I’m beyond trying to make sense of this guy. Just enjoy the madness.
The door rattles with every blow, and he soon knocks a sizeable dent in the wood with a hefty right cross. Jack keeps going and going, until the door suddenly swings open. Michael Lorenzo steps backwards to avoid being hit by Hunter, who almost falls over.
Lorenzo: Whoa, Jack! Calm down…
The Boss takes a look at Jack, then glances at his door, noticing the damage.
Lorenzo: … did you street fight my door?
Hunter: Yes! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
The Street Fighter beats his chest like Tarzan as he laughs, and Michael Lorenzo is already rolling his eyes.
Lorenzo: What can I do for you, Jack?
Hunter: I am here about my title shot!
Lorenzo: The Hardcore Title shot? That’s next week, Jack. Season’s Beatings, remember?
Hunter: No! I am already the Hardcore Champion of UTA wrestling after defeating Skylar Mountgobstopper and the Dibbinses when I covered them all in little bruises and started the HASH TAG NEW STREAK!
Victory’s head honcho makes a quick mental note to arrange office doormen next time Hunter’s booked.
Hunter: I am talking about my shot at the Utah World Title Championship Belt that I earned when I won THE GAUNTLET and street fighted Beautiful Eric Dean, Brellis, Amy Furryson and SkyMont in the same night and became number one contender to fight against LA FLASHY BRAN FLAKES!
Confusion twists across Lorenzo’s face.
Lorenzo: … what?
Hunter: LA FLAKY BACON!
This time, Michael can’t even find the words.
Hunter: LA FLYING BOOGER!
Lorenzo: Oh. Wait. LFB, gotcha…
Lorenzo: Number one, Jack, La Flama Blanca is currently on a leave of absence. Two, Eric Dane is the UTA World Champion. Three, you didn’t win the gauntlet match, so…
Hunter: But I am the undefeatable 26-0 best street fighter since GUILE and I have HARDCORIFIED and DESTRUCTIONATED all my opponents and become number one contender to…
Jack doesn’t stop talking, but the words start drifting into one for Michael Lorenzo (and, indeed, anyone with a properly functioning brain). Michael just wants him to go away, so he puts his hands up and interrupts…
Hunter: … my wife Jack Huntress and I do DDTs on cows all the…
Hunter: … but Harry Potter would waste Gandalf in a fight…
The shout catches Hunter’s attention. He stops babbling.
Lorenzo: Look, I’m extremely busy trying to keep this show together. I don’t have time for this. Whatever it is you want, you’ve got it on the next show. Goodnight.
Not wanting to risk any more of Jack’s nonsense, Michael slams the door closed. Jack spins around on his heels and high fives the wall.
Emo: … what just happened, Jen?
Williams: I don’t know, Doc, but let’s hope it doesn’t come back to bite Lorenzo in the ass.
We pick up to a pissed off Mikey Unlikely walking down the hall quickly. Mary Jane is fighting to keep up. He is holding her by the wrist as they walk.
MJ: Would you please just slow down!
Unlikely doesn’t say a word, he just keeps walking. They round a corner in the corridor.
MJ: Mikey please, calm down!
Mikey just shakes his head in frustration, he is clearly trying to hold back.
MJ: Where are we going!?
He stops finally. He looks her square in the eye, and doesn't move for a second.
Mary Jane looks around nervously, afraid to make eye contact.
Unlikely: WE!? We are not going anywhere Mary Jane! I am, I have something to do, and for the love of… I do not need you messing it up this time! Whether it's you trying to hold me back, or whether it's you throwing in the towel, or whatever!
Mikey breathes heavily.
Unlikely: So I am going out there to take care of some business, and as for you… I better not see you anywhere NEAR that ring.
She stands there looking sad, as Mikey walks off alone.
Emo: What was that all about, Jen?!
Williams: I guess we'll find out.
The scene opens up to the ring. Carny Sinclair is already warming up in the corner. He stretches against the ropes. The fans are excited for the upcoming match, as the commentary kicks in.
Williams: Coming up next ladies and gentleman, Lisil Jackson will take on newcomer Carny…
~I live it up like these are my last days,~
~If time is money, I’m an hour past paid.~
The crowd begins to boo loudly as they recognize the theme song.
Williams: What is he doing out here now?
Mikey Unlikely strides through the curtain smoothly. He looks focused but he can’t help but stop at the top of the ramp and take in the crowd.
They greet him with boos all around.
Williams: Hasn’t he done enough here tonight? Threatening a UTA official!
He begins to walk to the ring. refusing fans requests on the way down. Walks around the ring.
Emo: Uh Jennifer, I don’t think he’s going to the ring… I think he’s coming our way!
Indeed Mikey walks over to the commentary team and pulls up a chair. He slips a headset on as he positions himself at the end of the table.
Unlikely: Hey guys! Thanks for having me!
There is a slight pause.
Williams: We did not realize you had been invited down here for this match!
Unlikely shakes his head.
Unlikely: Mikey doesn’t need an invitation.
Emo: Yea Jennifer, The man is a celebrity, have some respect!
His music fades as the fans begin to antagonize him over his shoulder.
Williams: Well what is it you are doing down here?
Just then “Better Must Come” by Geego begins to play over the loudspeakers and Lisil Jackson walks out with a bold smile on his face raising his arms up bobbing his head to the music
Unlikely: THIS, is what I am doing down here.
The scene cuts to Mikey who is pointing up the ramp at Lisil.
Unlikely: This man has gone out of his way to get involved with my affairs and I’ve had enough, so let’s just call this...scouting.
Lisil walks down the ramp slapping the hands of many fans as he does.
Williams: Jackson is quite the up and coming superstar, you can’t take the man lightly. We learned that two weeks ago here on Victory, when he pinned the former World champion, Yoshi.
Announcer: Hailing from Kingston Jamaica.
Lisil slides into the ring and bounces around a bit. He throws some kicks and quick punches into the air. Warming up his limbs.
Announcer: Standing at six feet and three inches and weighing in at two hundred and fifty three pounds…
He gets on the top rope and points out to all of the fans before he slides off his sunglasses.
Announcer: He is the Jamaican Inspiration! Lisil Jackson!
Lisil slides off his Hawaiian Shirt, gold chain, and his fedora setting them down on the ring apron, before allowing the referee to check his boots and pads.
The referee calls for the bell. The two men circle the ring for a second, both looking for an opening. Lisil takes a quick peek outside the ring and points at Mikey.
Unlikely: Guy better get his head in the game…
Sure enough, no sooner does Mikey say it, then Carny Sinclair takes the opportunity to jump on the distracted Jackson. He runs and delivers a knee to the small of the back. Lisil drops to a knee, now turning to face his opponent.
Emo: Sinclair wasting no time here, now connecting with multiple right hands to the face of Lisil Jackson. This is why you can never turn your back on someone in the ring Jennifer.
Lisil pushes Sinclair off of him long enough to get to his feet and regain some balance. The two immediately lock up. Jackson uses his size advantage to back Sinclair into the turnbuckle.
The referee jumps in between and tries to break up the tie up in the corner. Lisil puts his hands up, and backs away cleanly.
Williams: Nice show of sportsmanship here by Lisil.
Unlikely: If he’s so sportsmanly why is he always sticking his face where it doesn't belong?
Williams: Maybe Jackson is just tired of your attitude as of late Mikey. Maybe he didn't want to see you pushing around a lady.
Unlikely: You take that back Jennifer! Mikey never put his hands on Mary Jane, not the way you are implying anyway!
Sinclair comes out of the corner, shaking his wrists, and loosening his neck. He’s ready for a fight.
The pair tie up once more. This time Carny gets the early advantage. He slips under the arm of Lisil and applies a top wrist lock. Slowly using both hands, Lisil reverses the momentum of the move, and turns it back on Sinclair. Jackson wrenches on the arm a few times before throwing a back kick that connects with Carny’s face.
Emo: Sinclair hits the mat hard, as Jackson begins to break out the martial arts. Jackson a highly trained and effective fighter.
Unlikely: Psshhhh please. The man is wrestling a potato.
Jackson reaches down and attempts to lift carny, but Sinclair hits a drop toe hold instead and brings Lisil down. No sooner does he yell out to the crowd “Say hello to headlock!” and moves across Lisle's body to apply a side headlock.
He wrenches away while the referee ask Lisil how how he’s doing.
Williams: We found out on After Hours that Carny Sinclair is quite the technical wrestler. Almost a perfectionist when it comes to the simplest submission holds.
Lisil begins to use his size to stand up while in the hold. Carny shakes his head trying to hold on. Finally Jackson is able to deliver a few elbows to the gut, and free himself from the clutches of Sinclair.
Jackson sends Carny off the ropes, on the return Sinclair delivers a shoulder block, dropping Jackson.
Emo: Carny going for a quick cover here! Trying to keep his opponent off balance.
Williams: Jackson gets the shoulder up! Mikey, let me ask you this. Last Monday on Wrestleshow you…
Unlikely: Let me stop you there Jennifer. Mikey's lips are sealed. Don't just think because you are some hot little number that you can sweet talk me either.
Emo: Geez Jennifer, flirting with an engaged man?
Williams: Would you stop!?
Sinclair rubs his forearm across the face of Lisil as he pushes against the mat. Jackson is quick to get out from under him.
The two get up about the same time. Jackson hits a few forearms, before throwing in a judo kick for good measure. He whips Carny into the turnbuckle. He hits chestfirst. Jackson runs now.
Emo: The High Tide! One of Jackson's favorite moves, with that huge knee to the back of Carny Sinclair. He pulls him down now into the school boy pin.
Unlikely: That seemed like a fast count don’t you think?
Williams: No, In fact I think it was just fine!
They get up, Jackson delivers some stiff chops to the bare chest.
Emo: Jennifer, you should really get your eyes checked.
Williams: What is your problem with the UTA officials Mikey!?
Lisil irish whips Carny he goes for a jumping kick, Sinclair ducks it, hits the ropes again and comes back with a clothesline, just as Jackson regains his balance. Sinclair pulls him back to his feet quickly before landing a jawbreaker, that sends Lisil Jackson through the ropes and onto the floor.
Mikey stands up as Jackson is just in front of him now. Sinclair hops out, paying no mind to Unlikely.
Emo: Sinclair is a smart guy. Send your opponent to the outside and take a breath. Devastating Jawbreaker there.
The referee begins his count.
Unlikely: My problem with the UTA officials is the fact that they are slow, inept, and inconsistent. They have their favorites and they cling to them, they protect them Jennifer. I was EXPOSING Will Haynes at International Affair, when Frank Knoxx not only called the match, but called it in Haynes favor.
Sinclair rams Jackson's back into the ring apron. He yells at the fans as Jackson writhes in pain. Sinclair tosses him back in the ring, following closely behind.
Williams: How big of a man does it take to corner a referee though? You are a professional athlete.
Unlikely: A big enough man, that i can ignite change Jennifer. I am nothing more than a platform, a voice! I am someone who can bring about official reform! It only takes one!
Carny once again lifts Jackson, he applies a DEVASTATING abdominal Stretch! The referee gets in position, and asks Jackson if he’s ready to quit.
As the referee is talking to Jackson, Sinclair takes advantage of the distraction, and grabs the ropes. He pulls back harder on the hold.
Unlikely: Here you have it again, once again the referee cannot do his job. Not paying attention, and Sinclair is able to get away with whatever he wants.
The referee finally does see it, and gives Sinclair a 5 count to break. Which he does at the last possible second.
Carny finally breaks the stretch, and tosses Jackson to the ground. He stomps him a few times before going to the second rope. He comes off with a front elbow that landed square in the chest of Lisil Jackson.
Emo: Sinclair really taking the upper hand here, Both of these men are coming off big wins. Sinclair feels the pressure to keep his streak alive.
Sinclair now goes to the outside of the ring. He reaches under, and pulls a table out. The referee immediately starts to yell at him to stop. He sets it up outside of the ring. He slaps the top of the table, as he slides back into the ring.
Williams: Carny seems to have some very bad intentions here.
Unlikely: Good, someone needs to put this loser where he belongs.
Jackson is getting back up as Sinclair approaches him. A couple forearms to the back before Carny grabs Jackson from behind his head. He runs him towards the ropes that will send him over and through the table.
At the last second Jackson puts on the brakes, to the roar of the crowd. He starts throwing rights and lefts as more and more people start cheering. Jackson with a standing back spin kick to the face of Sinclair has him reeling.
Emo: Jackson with a head of steam here, starting to get something going.
Jackson sends Carny off the ropes one more time…
Williams: THE TSUNAMI KICK! What a beautiful move!
Sinclair is down and out on the mat.
Unlikely: Oh no!!!
Jackson skips the cover and heads for the turnbuckle.
Williams: Jackson looking for his signature Birds of Paradise! He is heading up!
Unlikely: Screw this… (we hear feedback from his headset being dropped)
Williams: Wha… Mikey, where are… Lisil Jackson is climbing to the top turnbuckle ladies and gentlemen, but Mikey Unlikely looks like he’s headed for the ring.
As Jackson stands tall before jumping for his finishing move. Mikey hops up to the side of Lisil on the ring apron, and pushes him off the turnbuckle to the outside.
Emo: LISIL JACKSON JUST WENT THROUGH THAT TABLE!!!
The referee immediately calls for the bell. He seen everything.
Announcer: The winner of this match, by Disqualification, Lisilllllllll Jacksoooooooon!
The fans cheer his name, but he cannot celebrate as he lay in a heap of broken table. Mikey still standing on the ring apron, just stares down at Jackson. He walks over to Lisil and gets close to his face.
Unlikely: You want to interfere in my business? Well, I just interfered in yours.
Unlikely stands up, and spits in the direction of Lisil Jackson before walking to the back.
Williams: Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting! Mikey Unlikely is out of control.
The referee and staff are trying to help both men to their feet as we fade to the next scene.
Williams: An interesting night tonight as tensions rise heading into Wrestleshow: Season Beatings next week. A night that will see each of our Champions defend their respective titles against the number one contenders coming out of International Affair.
Williams: The exception being the Prodigy Championship with Quinlan released from his contract in the UTA, this title defense for Lew Smith has grown into a five way.
She looks over to her colleague.
Williams: Your thoughts?
Emo shoots upright to his feet, thrusting his headset down on the desk, and walks around the desk over to the ring announcer Stacy Sinclair. He steals her microphone and walks back over to stand before his chair. Raising it to his lips he breathes in deeply and exhales.
Emo: So rumors have been surfacing these past few days... courtesy of Rumor Man Stan. They hold no water.
With a pause he looks down to his colleague then out at the crowd.
Emo: Even if Dick Fury wanted to return and take his seat back, I'm not giving it back. He can go be an interviewer or do makeup. Dick would love that. Splattering makeup on the women around here, like the porcelain dolls they are.
Chuckling he continues.
Emo: Dick aside. I am standing here before you all to announce my return-
He pauses for good measure, letting the fans get their hopes up that those next words revolve around 'in-ring'.
Emo: -to the UTA Network! That's right folks! Seasons Beatings is coming right around the corner, much like Christmas, and with all that holly jolly there is plenty of thorns to poke at. So tune into the UTA's exclusive network specials and catch yours truly.
Plopping back down in his chair he leans back and underhand tosses the microphone back to Stacy. Then works to refix the headset back in place.
Emo: That felt good to get off my chest.
Williams: Believe me, I rather you stick around than Dick.
Emo: Everybody does. However... don't we have a show to get momentum on?
With that the cameras cut away elsewhere.
The soft piano stylings of “Jingle Bells” is heard as Victory cuts backstage to the locker room area. There we see Santa Claus seated backstage after his heated match with Lew Smith earlier in the evening.
Santa Claus looks as if he’s about to get to his feet when, suddenly, the door is knocked open and the Dibbin Brousins step into the room. Duke points at the big man, who can only stare at this surprise intrusion.
Duke: Get ‘em!
The duo launch themselves across the room at Santa Claus, diving into his lap simultaneously, sending Santa crashing onto his back. They place their hands around his arms, somehow holding him down with their combined weight. Luke looks back to the open door.
Luke: We’s got him, Elk!
A moment later, El Trébol steps into the room, as casual as can be. He moves over to the bench, hopping on top of it to look down at the stunned Santa who had given up struggling, only to stare at the little man before him.
Trébol: That you did, Luke. I knew those senton lessons would come in handy.
Santa finally finds his voice.
Santa: What is this? Betrayed by my hired hand?
An awkward moment hangs in the air before Trébol realizes what the big man is insinuating before he shakes his head.
Trébol: I’m not one of your elves, man. My name is El Trébol Jr and I am the General Manager of UTA After Hours. And these--
El Trébol gestures to Luke and Duke with both hands.
Trébol: Are my tag team champions. Thing is, we can’t find the belts, so I need you to give them some new ones.
Even with nearly four hundred pounds on top of him, Santa resists.
Santa: I wouldn’t dare give anything to these two men. Nice children write letters to me, they don’t attack me! So no, I won’t help you.
Even beneath the mask, a smile could be seen forming across the face of El Trébol.
Trébol: I figured you’d say that, Santa, which is why I had a backup plan in mind.
Trébol gestures for Luke and Duke to get off of Santa. He doesn’t speak again until they had done so and Santa has reached a seated position.
Trébol: On After Hours Three, Santa, you and two chosen partners of you will now face The Dibbins and I in a six-man tag team match. And if we win, you will give my friends here what they rightfully deserve. We’ll see you on Christmas Eve, Mister Claus.
El Trébol turns and makes his exit following his declaration, Luke and Duke following close behind in deep discussion.
Luke: Ya know, I was thinkin’ dem returd belts mighta been in dat man’s fat rolls.
Duke: Dey weren’t. I checked.
The door shuts behind the trio as Santa rubs his beard for a moment before the scene fades out.
Emo: I... I don't even know where to begin describing that...
Backstage, and Cayle Murray is wandering. Having again left the sanctity of his locker-room while Jeff wrestled Yoshii, the Scot makes his way through bland, featureless halls with a half-eaten apple and a bottle of water.
Williams: No fear from Cayle tonight, Doc. After the way he, Andrews and Haynes ran-off the Pantheon two weeks ago, you’d think he’d show more apprehension.
Emo: The Pantheon’s retribution will come, but fear’s the ultimate sign of weakness, Jen. If we’ve learned anything about Cayle, it’s that his resolve is damn near unbreakable.
Murray rounds a corner and re-enters the main locker-room area. He passes a couple of doors until he reaches his own then stops to dig through his jacket pocket. Before Cayle finds the key he’d asked Lorenzo for prior to bell-time, he notices something.
The door is already ajar.
Murray: How the…?
Tonight’s main eventer tenses up. He throws the apple in a nearby trash can, slides the bottle in his pocket, then nudges the door open with his door. The lock’s broken remains scrape across the concrete floor, and Cayle squints through the darkness.
Williams: Who’s in there?!
He runs his hand across the wall until he finds the switch. When the lights come-on, Cayle shudders.
Madman: What’s poppin’?
There, sat on a bench across the room, is Madman Szalinski. Cayle’s first instinct is to glance over his shoulder.
Murray: Where are they?
Madman, however, is not forthcoming in responding. Instead, he sits in silence, staring at Cayle through his mask.
Murray: Dane, Thorpe, Dean… where are they hiding?!
Sensing an ambush, Cayle becomes twitchy. He glances around the room, but the door to the most obvious hiding place – the bathroom – is wide open, and there’s nobody inside. Madman lets the silence linger for a few moments longer, letting Cayle’s tetchiness bubble and boil.
Madman: They’re not hiding. And they ain’t here, either. It’s just us two, homie.
The words do nothing to ease Cayle’s unease.
Murray: Dane sent you. He must’ve.
He takes a step forward, holding his clenched fists down by his side.
Murray: What does he want? Revenge for the other week?
Murray: How long before they show-up and hit me from behind, huh?
Murray: What are you, Madman?! The distraction? The bait?
Finally, Madman Szalinski rises from his perch. Moving deliberately slowly, he walks towards Cayle until he’s stood little over a foot away from the popular Scot.
Madman: None of the above.
Neither man’s glare wavers.
Madman: I’m the warning.
Murray: I know exactly what I got myself into last week, Mad—
The masked man snorts a quick, creepy chuckle.
Madman: Forget about them right now. The Pantheon ain’t part of this conversation. If they were, they’d be here. You and I are talking right now.
He shakes his head.
Madman: I’ve fought this fight. It’s not worth fighting. I was that knight in shining armor long before you were. I was the first one to fight Dynasty in the name of the “people” - sound familiar? You and us...it’s the same as me and them.
Cayle parts his lips to speak, but the former UTA Champion doesn’t give him the opportunity.
Madman: I’m telling you now, Cayle – you’re wasting your love on something that’ll never love you back. They’ll cheer and chant your name for now, but they’re only waiting for the next guy to come along and replace you. And when that happens, they’ll act like you never even existed. It happened to me, Cayle. You know it. You saw it. I’m not being a paranoid little stoner here - I’m speaking from experience.
The Pantheon’s livewire takes another step forward.
Madman: This isn’t a fight you can win. You want to know how this story ends? You’re looking at it.
A pause hangs over the duo. They’re eyeball-to-eyeball, and just a few inches from each other. For a moment, there is no background noise, no words, and no actions: just tension.
Madman: You’re looking into your own future right now, Cayle Murray. This is where the high road takes you. Do you want to be like me? Do you?
Slowly, and without breaking his gaze, Szalinski paces around Cayle’s side, heading for the door. Cayle’s steely eyes follow him all the way, ‘til the Pantheon member is stood by the door.
Madman: Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
And as Madman takes his leave, the scene cuts elsewhere.
Williams: So the Pantheon found Cayle Murray, just not in the way any of us expected.
Emo: And he'd do well to heed Madman's words, Jen. There are clear parallels to be drawn here.
The lights dim just a bit and a tint of red light fulfills the entry ramp right as Japanese "Bushido" plays over the sound system.
Out steps Jed Dye on to the stage. He stops and straightens his tie then turns around and hosts both hands toward the entrance to introduce the monster sumo mammoth from Japan, Yoshii.
Out steps Yoshii as he walks and stands next to Jed Dye, focused on the ring. Jed rubs Yoshii's shoulders to prep him for the battle that's ahead.
Williams: I wonder what it feels like to rub Yoshii’s shoulders.
Emo: Probably like bread dough, swallows your hands.
They both start walking towards the ring as Jed ignores the 'loser' fans who hold their hands out, while Yoshii high fives all of them while never losing his focus on the ring.
Announcer: Hailing from Tokyo, Japan...
The Japanese Godzilla enters the ring and leans against the turnbuckle as Jed Dye remains on the outside of the ring apron.
Announcer: Standing at six foot four inches and weighing in at five hundred-thirty-nine pounds...
The sumo crouches pounding his left leg to the mat, then his right. Slaps his chest with each hand.
Yoshii sprints out of his stance and halts in the middle of the ring. He thrusts his hands into the air and yells to the crowd "YOOOSSHIIIIIIIIII!!!"
Williams: Despite his loss last week to Lisil Jackson, Yoshii hasn’t lost touch with himself.
Yoshii then heads to his corner and looks at Jed Dye. Jed Dye makes eye contact, just as both men give each other a nod. Game face time.
Williams: Though he won’t have it any easier this week with newcomer Jeff Andrews.
Emo: The man scoop slammed Santa Claus, for heaven’s sake!
♫ I'm a stoned jet fighter with a heart of gold ♫
♫ Well I'm really mad and I'm really old ♫
♫ And I rule this planet from high above ♫
♫ And it's time I sacrificed all my love ♫
As "Gods and Punks" by Monster Magnet blasts out, Jeff Andrews storms out of the back, and stops at the top of the ramp, fists clenched and at his sides, and head looking down. He slowly brings his arms up to shoulder level.
Announcer: And his opponent! Hailing from Deadman Crossing, Ohio, and weighing in at 264 lbs!
Andrews snaps his fingers, and flashpots explode all over the stage.
Announcer: JEFF! ANNNNNDREWS!
Andrews begins powerwalking to the ring, reaching out to slap a few outstretched hands.
♫ And if you don't like what you see ♫
♫ Go ahead and take it out on me ♫
♫ I'm the Big Pig Apocalypse - ♫
♫ - and I ain't hard to please! ♫
Williams: Indeed, Jeff Andrews has proven already his ability to overcome the largest obstacle UTA has to offer.
Emo: Physically, yes. Yoshii is a former UTA champion, though, which cannot be said for Santa Claus.
At ringside he doffs his leather jacket and drops it on the ringside mats, then rolls into under the bottom rope. He bolts madly across the ring to test the ropes, then on the rebound leaps to the middle and top ropes, raising both fists above his head.
♫ I'm a stoned jet fighter with a heart of gold ♫
♫ And I rule this planet from high above ♫
♫ And I take what I take because I want what I want ♫
♫ And tonight I'm gonna rock with the Gods and Punks ♫
Williams: The thing is Jeff Andrew hasn’t come to talk about that. He’s here to say the same thing Lisil Jackson said two weeks ago to Yoshii’s accomplishments.
Andrews drops back into his corner and ignores the ref as he checks for foreign objects, never taking his eyes off his opponent.
Emo: “I beat you.” And we’re about to find out if he can conquer two mountains in a row right . . . now.
There is little delay for the bell to be rung as the two competitors step into the center of the ring, circling one another. Well, Jeff was making a circuit of the ring while Yoshii simply pivoted around, never letting the veteran flank him.
Williams: Jeff Andrews sizing the big man up, trying to formulate his game plan.
Lunging suddenly, Andrew strikes out with a sharp kick across Yoshii’s bare thigh, the impact sending visible ripples across the leg. He back peddles out of the way before Yoshii can swipe him across the head with a palm strike.
Emo: Striking is Jeff Andrew’s best bet for this match. While everyone is hoping for another feat of strength from him, it’s probably not in his best interest to tempt fate twice.
Andrew steps back in, striking out with again with a second heavy kick. This time, Yoshii manages to strike Andrew with a blow of his own, an elbow across the shoulder. Andrew circles around, rolling his arm and kicks at the back of Yoshii’s knee. By the time Andrew turns to face him, Jeff had moved to his back once more, striking again at the big man’s foundation.
Williams: Andrew is literally running circles around Yoshii who is getting frustrated by the smaller opponent.
Emo: And you can see the momentum building in Jeff’s eyes. He’s enjoying this game.
This “game,” as Emo put it, continues for a few more rotations until Yoshii has the sudden idea to turn in the opposite direction of Jeff, putting the pesky opponent in front of him again. A wide grin crosses his face as he sounds off across Jeff’s chest with a heavy chest slap.
Williams: With one swing, Yoshii takes control of the match.
Yoshii pulls Jeff close before he can stumble away, clutching at his now red chest, and drops him to the mat with a scoop slam. Two steps has Yoshii rebounding off the ropes into a leg drop across the chest and head of Andrews as the referee drops into the pin.
Emo: Yoshii takes a technique out of Andrew’s arsenal with that scoop slam.
Williams: Not enough, though, as Andrew kicks out at two.
While Yoshii slowly pushes himself to his feet, Jeff uses the turnbuckles in the corner to pull himself into a standing position.
Emo: Yoshii with a Sumo Splash in mind.
The big man indeed launches himself at the cornered Andrews, who has the wherewithal to step out of the corner at the last second, allowing Yoshii to come crashing in chest first. Planting one leg, Andrews then throws up the second across the back of the former UTA champion’s head with a standing roundhouse kick.
Williams: Stiff strike from Andrews, but Yoshii still on his feet.
Andrew stomps away at the back of Yoshii’s knees until finally the big man is kneeling, his head level with the middle turnbuckle. Then, stepping into the center of the ring, Andrew flies forward with a leaping knee strike that pins Yoshii’s head between it and the thinly padded steel.
Emo: And for the first time tonight, Jeff Andrews has brought Yoshii to the mat.
Indeed, Yoshii flops backwards to the mat after Andrew steps aside; Jeff is on him in an instant with a pin attempt. One, Two, Th—not enough as Yoshii shoulders out.
Williams: Close call, but this bout continues.
Andrews rolls to his feet as Yoshii tries to find his own, lashing out with a kick across the big man’s shoulder. Yoshii shrugs it off and continues his ascent. Andrew kicks him again, trying to keep him down, but still he persists to find his feet.
Emo: Despite it all, Yoshii is intent on reaching his feet.
Williams: Much to the chagrin of Jeff Andrews, who keeps bringing it with heavy strikes.
Yoshii is on his feet, absorbing the sharp chops across his chest from Andrews. Strike after strike bounces across the big man’s chest until Jeff, fueled by the adrenaline, presses his forehead against Yoshii.
Emo: The blood is pumping in the head of Jeff Andrews.
Williams: And a massive headbutt. Did you hear that sickening impact?
Yoshii staggers back for a breathe . . . and then reponds to Jeff’s headbutt with one of his own that was so stiff it sent Andrews backpedaling into the ropes, clutching at his skull.
Emo: There probably isn’t a harder head in all of UTA than Yoshii’s.
Andrews rebounds off the ropes into the awaiting arms of Yoshii who lifts him high, spins around, and plants him with a huge belly-to-belly slam.
Williams: Tsunami Slam! And the pinfall.
Emo: One, Two . . . Oh, so close. Andrew somehow gets a shoulder out from under Yoshii.
Pushing himself to his feet, Yoshii slowly drags Andrews over to the corner by the arm until he was in position. Then, scaling to the second rope, Yoshii pauses for a moment to catch his breath as the fans wait, knowing what was to come next.
Williams: Yoshii with the Yoshii Bomb!
Emo: But Jeff Andrews rolls out of the way.
Yoshii lands butt first onto the canvas as Andrew rolls backwards out of the way. Then, leaping forward, Andrews grabs the big man by the head and spikes it to the mat with his signature Reverse DDT. He too scales to the top following this.
Williams: Mind Eraser setting up for the Ultraglide.
Emo: Andrew leaps off with the senton splash . . . and connects. He somehow hooks the leg.
One, Two . . . Three, this one is over.
Williams: And Andrews picks up his second victory in as many attempts.
In the back, we see Marie Van Claudio walking to her locker room to get her stuff and head back to the hotel for the night.
Van Claudio: It looks like I’m done. Time to head back and take a bubble bath.
As Marie turns the knob to the door, Amy Harrison comes right behind her and SLAMS her right into the door.
Harrison: You think you’re going to screw me over without payback!? Think again!
Marie holds her face and gets back to her feet, but Amy kicks her right in gut, grabs her and throws her into the wall harder.
Harrison: Admit it, you can’t let it go that I’m better than you, and I always will be. You’re jealous of me!
Marie begins to cough while holding her rib cage. something could be broken as Amy again picks her up by the hair and tosses her over the table, knocking over the objects. Amy laughs at this
Harrison: What, are you going to do something about this? What’s that?
Marie comes back up with a hockey stick that was lying on the ground and jumps back on the table. Marie goes to hit her with it right in the leg. Amy holds her leg, but Marie SLAPS her hard as it echos
Van Claudio: You think YOU’RE going to get the upper hand?! Try again!
Amy holds her face, but uses her left hand to back smack her HARDER. Marie stumbles a bit, but Amy grabs her and sees a set of ladders that are standing up. Amy grabs Marie, but referees are coming up.
Referees: That’s enough!
Amy doesn’t care. She wants to end Marie as she tries to go for a suplex into them, but one of the referees pulls Marie down.
Referees: AMY ENOUGH! CALM DOWN!!!
Amy doesn’t seem to pleased about this as medics are checking on Marie and covering her her face up with a towel.
Harrison: This isn’t over, Marie! Not by a long shot!
The referees are telling Amy to go while Marie’s still being checked on.
The scene turns backstage where Lisil Jackson is storming down a hallway.
L. Jackson: WHERE HE AT?!
Lisil bellows out as workers scatter from the irate Jamaican. He storms through the hall clutching his fedora in one hand and holding his head with the other.
L. Jackson: MIKEY C'MON BRUDDA!!! YA WANNA GO DEN LESS GO!!!
The Jamaican Inspiration yells as he punches a near by soda machine out of anger. Suddenly Rumor Man Stan approaches Lisil Jackson cautiously.
Stan: Lisil!!! Take it easy!!!
Jackson looks at Stan and clenches his fists.
L. Jackson: Where is Mikey at?!
Stan takes a deep breath.
Stan: He left already Lisil... He hopped in his car and peeled out.
L. Jackson: He left huh? Typical actions o' a coward! He wants ta blindside me afta me match and now he flees in terra?!
Jackson turns around and punches the soda machine again and again before drinks start to spill out of the machine.
Stan: Lisil!!!! Calm down!!!
L. Jackson: I be sick o' it mon! Dat mudda has been doin nothin but walkin round dis company actin like a total bully. I will not stand by and watch anymo!
The door to the soda machine goes flying as Lisil rips it off.
Stan: I understand how you feel but... Oh god!!!!!!
Suddenly Lisil backs up and nails the soda machine with a spinning back round house kick to the side and the entire machine falls over in a loud crash.
L. Jackson: Trust me Stan... Mikey will soon learn dat I am JAMAICA STRONG!
Lisil Jackson storms out of the picture as Stan picks up one of the stray sodas.
Williams: That Jamaican really doesn't like soda machines does he.....
Emo: That's one way of putting it. Hope he's ready for the bill...
Jeff Andrews is walking~!
Having only just finished his business with Yoshi mere moments ago, the King of the Bittermen is glazed with sweat and he still breathes just a bit heavily.
Perhaps his mind is on how things went in the match, or maybe it’s on that first (or fifth) beer (or whiskey) after a shower, we’ll never know. What we do know is that he is only slightly surprised when he turns a corner and is stopped dead in his tracks by a very familiar, very snarky face.
“Boy, do you ever have a big ol’ fat sack full of balls on you.”
Andrews sighs, then straightens up. The World Champion stands comfortably leaned against the wall, title belt glistening on his shoulder. Jeff doesn’t miss a beat.
Dane: Honestly? No. Saddling up with Murray and Haynes? Now that was out of left field.
Andrews: Haynes was just lucky enough to be there when it happened. And I was telling the truth to Cayle, you know. I’d rather get the kid some backup and a fair shot before he turns into another me. Besides…
Eric’s eyebrow perks up.
Andrews: I’m not much into patiently paying my dues and climbing the ladder, and Dynasty isn’t here to pick on anymore. What else was I gonna do, Eric? What would God have wanted me to do?
Scrunching his brows together The Only Star contemplates, fully appreciating Jeff’s vitriol no matter how hard he might try to hide it. Which is to say, not very.
Dane: You should have called me. I could have gotten you a better deal, probably.
Andrews: I thought about it. For reals. But in the end, it came down to this. Jeff Andrews joined the Ultimate Toughness Alliance because…
Jeff’s meaning may be unclear for some people who heard of him for the first time a couple weeks ago, but for Eric Dane, it was perfectly clear. Judging by the scowl that spread across his face at least.
Dane: Disappointing. I had hoped there might be some sense to be talked into you.
Andrews: Yeah, good luck with that.
Eric’s smile melts away quicker than it appeared.
Dane: That’s the part of the game you never figured out, Jeffer. Elite talent doesn’t function based on luck. Elite talent, such as myself, functions by being the smartest guy in the room. All of the rooms. That, and meticulous planning.
He chuckles, lightly.
Dane: Also, the proper amount of stalling.
Andrews: The part of the game you never figured out is-
And whatever he was about to say doesn’t even matter, as out of nowhere “Beautiful” Bobby Dean runs straight into him from behind with a 300 pound shoulder check. Dane casually steps aside as Andrews goes face first into a pile of boxes and pipes leaning up against the wall.
Andrews and the pipes fall down with a hellacious clatter as Madman Szalinski and Colton Thorpe also appear. There’s nothing fancy about what happens next as it’s just a three on one stomp-in with Eric Dane standing back, looking on, adjusting that World Title belt over his shoulder.
Madman grabs one of Andrews’ arms, BBD grabs the other, and they pull the man up onto his feet. Thorpe takes aim with the Wildfire championship, and -
Andrews goes straight down, three-quarters unconscious and bleeding from the forehead. BBD and Madman let him drop.
Dane: Really, Jeff? After everything we’ve been through, you want to go down this road with me? Don’t you know where this road leads?
It takes Andrews a moment to raise his head enough to answer but the look on his face is the complete opposite of surrender - it’s surliness. His response may or may not be concussion-induced, but it is delivered with a half delirious smirk.
Andrews: That road becomes my bride. I am stripped of all but pride. In her I do confide. And she keeps me satisfied. Gives me what I need. F(redacted)ggot.
Dane actually laughs.
Then he lashes out with a size 12 raptor-skin boot, catching Andrews directly in the mouth and shutting him all the way up for the evening. Blood grotesquely pools on the floor beneath his face, and as he opens his mouth to groan, a tooth falls out.
Dane: What did I tell you about that last word, Jeff?
The Champion stands to his full six foot four inch height. He straightens himself up a bit before addressing his Pantheon.
Dane: Bobby, Colton, toss this sad sack in a dumpster somewhere. Madman, make sure he doesn’t wake up anytime soon. And get it done in a hurry, we’ve got one more piece of business to attend to before we can call tonight a success.
And with that the scene sharply fades, cutting back to ringside in the process.
Williams: Welcome back to ringside, Ladies and Gents… and Doc, it’s time for our main event. Cayle Murray vs. Will Haynes! This could be an instant classic…
Emo: Or it could be a total snoozefest, Jen. I wouldn’t be surprised if these two just came-out and shared hugs and handshakes for 15-20 minutes.
Williams: Murray and Haynes are comfortably the two most well-liked wrestlers in the UTA today, and Cayle did come to Will’s aid last week, but they’re also professionals. They’re not here to participate: they’re here to win, and I think this’ll be a great match.
Emo: Let’s just address what we’ve just witnessed though, Jennifer. The Pantheon just blitzkrieged Jeff Andrews. That leaves the other two members of this little love triangle all alone and isolated in the ring…
Williams: I smell trouble ahead, Doc.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall!
A quick burst of TV static plunges the arena into darkness, before the breakneck start to “Sinister Rouge” by Bad Religion summons a storm of red and white strobes at the top of the ramp.
Pyrotechnics as the first verse hits, and Cayle Murray steps out from the fog, gazing around the arena and running an extended finger pistol across the horizon. He’s soon on his way, and throws his hood back before jogging down to the ring, slapping hands with some fans to the left and then some to the right.
Announcer: Introducing first, from Aberdeen, Scotland...
Cayle soon reaches the ring and rolls beneath the bottom rope. He makes his way to a corner once inside and hops onto the second turnbuckle. After a few seconds of gawking around the building with a hand over his brow like a lookout he throws both arms to his side.
Announcer: Standing at 6'1" and weighing in at 220 pounds...
He stays atop the turnbuckle for the chorus' duration, then loosens his posture and drops his arms.
Announcer: CAAAAAAAAAAAYLE! MURRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!
Williams: What a great reaction for the popular Scot, who’s become one of the UTA’s most bankable stars in a very short time period.
Finally, Cayle hops down from the turnbuckles and uzips his hoodie. He tosses it aside and takes to a corner, loosening his muscles and preparing for a fight.
Emo: Murray handily dealt with B.R. Ellis in his first match since that crushing defeat at International Affair, but this is a considerable step-up.
Williams: It was an impressive rebound performance, but you’re right. Haynes is one of the best wrestlers on the planet – period. Cayle would probably prefer to be in there with a Pantheon member, but he’ll be relishing the chance to test himself against Will.
The beginnings of "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys begins to play as the fans climb to their feet. Smoke begins to fill the entrance ramp, the song reaches the beginning of the first verse just as Will Haynes steps through the curtain.
Announcer: … aaaaand his opponent! Hailing from Athens, Georgia…
Emo: Now here’s a guy with a lot on his mind.
Williams: No doubt, Doc. Haynes has had a bumpy ride since Mikey Unlikely’s treachery, and while he was technically victorious in Tokyo, it came at a cost.
Emo: It cost Mary Jane a few hundred brain cells, that’s for sure!
Will begins to walk down the aisle, nod his head to the music. He slaps the hands of some fans along the ramp as he continues to the ring.
Announcer: Standing at 6’2” and weighing in at 240lbs… WILL! “THE THRILL!” HAYYYYYYYYYYYNNNNNNNNNEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!
Haynes jumps onto the ring cover, pulls down the middle rope and climbs in. He bounces off the far side, then the near side, and then back off the far side testing the ropes.
Williams: This is a big match for Haynes, too. He’s a man with World Title aspirations, and Cayle Murray might not be at that level of prestige yet, but he’s proven himself to be one of the UTA’s most naturally gifted athletes.
Emo: Especially after last week, when his much-anticipated clash with Perfection descended into shenanigans.
As the music dies down, Cayle Murray and Will Haynes come together in the centre of the ring. They immediately shake hands and share a few words, before breaking away and moving to their respective corners.
Williams: And with no surprises, the tone is set. Get ready for some good old-fashioned wrestling, folks: clean, fair and respectful.
The bell rings, and the two wrestlers move towards one another. Haynes calls for the collar and elbow, and Cayle’s happy to oblige. They jostle for position. Will’s size advantage forces Cayle a few steps back, but the Scot works the angles tightly enough to slip-out of the tie, and apply a Hammerlock. Murray wrenches tightly, but Will fights through it, and starts slowly twisting his arm out of the move.
Williams: Haynes working his way out of the hold here…
With a final twist, Haynes relieves the pressure on his joints and turns to face Murray. He wrenches Cayle’s arm once. Twice. Then just when he’s losing traction, Haynes pulls Cayle in close, throwing him in a side headlock.
Williams: The chess battle continues. Will’s got Murray’s head beneath his arm, but Cayle knows where he is…
Sure enough, Cayle’s ring awareness kicks in, and he bursts forward to propel Haynes into the ropes back-first. The momentum allows Cayle to backwards roll out of the hold. Back on his feet, Cayle charges, then baseball slides beneath his oncoming opponent. Will moves towards Cayle but gets arm dragged to the mat, then Cayle drops to one knee, puts his hands beneath Will’s chin, and pulls back.
Emo: Jeez, it’s like these two are scared to hit each other.
Williams: You’ll get strikes, Doc, but this is no bitter rivalry. This is gonna be a clinic of pure wrestling.
Emo: But it’s a fight, Jen! Smack him in the face! Bloody him up! At least make it interesting…
Cayle slowly scoots backwards. Before giving up too much leverage, he moves to a knelt position, then quickly scissors both legs around Haynes’ head.
Williams: Grounded headscissors from Cayle, but Will’s getting up!
Will’s able to roll onto his stomach, but he can’t quite break free. Regardless, he sits upright, then slowly puts a hand into the mat and starts climbing to his feet. As soon as he’s vertical, Cayle whips Haynes down from a near-handstand position.
Williams: Headscissor taked—
Emo: No! He rolls through!
A quick adjustment sees Haynes land safely and roll into a seated position, before popping to his feet, much to Cayle Murray’s surprise. Applause ripples around the arena, and Murray verbally acknowledges Will’s game.
Williams: A nice little counter-grappling sequence to kick things off. Neither of these men are as accomplished on the mat as someone like Perfection, but both have rock solid fundamentals.
Emo: You’re right, Jennifer – they’re nothing like Perfection. Perfection would make this interesting!
Some circling commences, and the two wrestlers start sizing each other up. Teasingly, Cayle moves forwards but sidesteps immediately when no opening emerges.
Williams: These two are still very much in the feeling-out process.
Will calls for another lock-up, and Cayle’s game. They meet in the centre, and Will’s angles are just a little bit tighter this time, giving the smaller man little room to manoeuvre. Haynes puts Murray in a side headlock and moves forward for a Bulldog, but Cayle slips out at the last minute. Coming back at Murray after being pushed away, Will blocks the attempted hip toss, and counters with one of his own.
Williams: Cayle hits the deck now, and the THRILL runs the ropes!
But Murray springs to his feet. He ducks the onrushing Haynes, then bunny-hops over him on the second rebound. Finally, Will ends the charade by hooking his arms over the top rope to prevent bouncing back a third time.
Emo: As predicted, Jen, these two are just cancelling each other out.
Williams: But here comes Cayle! Jawbreaker!
The move dazes Haynes. Cayle dashes beyond him, and leaps onto the second rope. Springboarding back, Cayle looks for a rana, but Haynes ducks at the last possible second and Cayle rolls across the ring. When he hops back to his feet, Cayle finds himself staring Will Haynes in the eye, and the two are locked in stalemate once again.
Williams: Impressive athleticism from Cayle, but he just can’t carve an opening!
“Whoa, whoa, WHOA! Hold the Gee-Dee phone!”
Williams: What in the-
Emo: It’s our World Champion!
And so it is. Out of thin air Eric Dane appears at the top of the ramp, suited, booted, shaded and never faded he makes his way down toward the ring with the World Title belt over one shoulder and a microphone in the opposite hand.
Dane: You two do-gooders think this love-fest is gonna make it as a main event on MY show?
Inside of the ring all sense of competition has come to a halt as both Cayle Murray and Will Haynes have taken up residence at the center of the ring, both men begging for the Champion to join them. The referee, completely at a loss, stands and watches, just waiting to throw a disqualifying finger.
Williams: Now what does he want?
Emo: It’s obvious, he wants these two guys to kill each other!
The Only Star halts halfway down the ramp.
Dane: Come on now, a hammerlock? An armdrag? Some Cinemax style softcore “grappling” so the fans can find an excuse for a piss break? IN THE MAIN EVENT? Listen up you two, and listen REAL GOOD!
He shushes the crowd. This takes a moment.
Dane: Do you hear that?
Haynes and Murray both have something to say, neither have the answer that The Champ is looking for. Having a microphone his interruption is like stealing candy from a baby.
Dane: It’s the sound of a million people around the world changing the friggin’ channel to catch the end of the Football game!
This elicits more than a few hisses and boos.
Dane: So, since you two slap-fighting your way through the worst match of the night is obviously not what these fans came to see this evening…
More boos. There is some commotion on the far side of the ring from The Only Star but he ignores it, the smile on his face growing larger by the second.
Dane: Allow me, the face of Victory and the Paramount of the UTA, to give you people something worth watching here tonight!
Williams: Hey, is that-
Emo: It sure is! The Pantheon is here!
That commotion was three men hopping the guardrail behind the announce table. Those three men are Madman Szalinski, “Beautiful” Bobby Dean, and the Wildfire Champion Colton Thorpe! On cue they quietly enter the ring behind Murray and Haynes who both have eyes locked on the World Champion.
Williams: TURN AROUND WILL! TURN AROUND CAYLE!
The Only Star resumes his trek toward the ring. He drops the microphone to one side and his title belt to the other. He begins peeling off his suit coat when all hell breaks loose as Thorpe and Madman both pounce on Cayle Murray at once. Will Haynes has just enough time to recognize the trap having been sprung before he is squashed into the turnbuckle by Bobby Dean. The referee, knowing when it’s time to make a move, dives from the ring as he calls for the bell, throwing this match out in the process.
Outside of the ring Eric Dane pulls his jacket back on and laughs.
Dane: What, you thought you were gonna get a two-on-one shot at me? Do I look stupid to either of you? Do I look like the kind of guy who could get lured in hook, line, and sinker the way you to are making a habit of?
Inside of the ring Dane’s boys do the dirty work as he berates his enemies from afar.
Dane: Come on you two! Where’s all that bravado now? Where’s those big words now Cayle? Where’s the thrill, Will? You two ain’t NOTHING and right now you’re learning what it feels like to be on the bad side of The Only Star!
The beating goes on, at this point both Haynes and Murray are on the mat, each man trying unsuccessfully to cover up and absorb the kicks and stomps being laid in by the three men standing above them.
Emo: Now what’s HE doing out here!
Michael Lorenzo appears much like Dane before him, but he’s down the ramp just a touch quicker than the World Champ’s leisurely pace would allow. Lorenzo has a microphone of his own.
Lorenzo: Nope! Not tonight!
He gets face to face with The Only Star.
Lorenzo: I don’t care how many times or how loud you say it, Victory is not your show! Victory is my show, and I SAY WHAT DOES AND DOES NOT CONSTITUTE A MAIN EVENT!
Inside of the ring Bobby Dean drops an elbow across Cayle Murray’s back.
Lorenzo: STOP IT! RIGHT NOW! ANYBODY TOUCHES ANYBODY AND YOU’LL BE SUSPENDED UNTIL YOU’RE OLD ENOUGH TO DRAW A PENSION!
Madman Szalinski throws one last kick to the ribs of Will Haynes just for good measure.
Lorenzo: I MEAN STOP IT! NOW!
The Television Executive flies past Dane and into the ring where he puts himself bodily between The Pantheon and their prey. Dane cocks an eyebrow and watches this all unfold in front of him.
Williams: It’s about time we had some Law and Order around here!
Emo: Yeah, because what the UTA needs is another blowhard with an authority complex barking out orders! This guy’s no better than James Wingate!
Having been given a reprieve by Lorenzo both Cayle Murray and Will Haynes have been able to make it to their feet. Lorenzo says something too both of them off-mic and they both answer him with enthusiastic nods as each man sucks in air to catch his breath.
Lorenzo: Now that we’re all out here and you (he glares at Dane) have ruined my main event, I’ve decided on a new main event! Will Haynes and Cayle Murray will take on The Pantheon, two on two, in a tag team match!
The fans pop hard for that one. Eric Dane curses audibly as he makes his way around the ring to the corner that his men have taken residence in. Lorenzo confers with the referee who has magically made his way back into the ring, and he leaves the ring as the ref calls for the bell.
Williams: Well now, are you happy?
Emo: I’m not sure yet, is Dane happy?
Williams: Oh for the love of- Who cares if Dane’s happy? He CAUSED all of this!
Murray and Haynes take their corner, while Madman, Dean and Thorpe stand directly opposite. After a quick discussion, Haynes climbs outside and grabs the tag rope.
Williams: Looks like Murray will start for his side, but which Pantheon members are we even getting here?
On the outside, Eric Dane calls a few orders to his troops. Bobby Dean and Madman Szalinski leave the ring: Madman to the apron, Bobby to the outside.
Emo: So the Pantheon will be represented by Madman and Thor--… oh my.
The realisation hits.
Cayle Murray and Colton Thorpe stand across from each other.
The bell rings.
Williams: Look at this, Doc! Four weeks removed from International Affair, and one of the hottest rivalries in modern UTA history is about to be rekindled!
Emo: I don’t think it ever ended, Jen! The bad blood runs so deep that it’ll take more than a single pinfall to end this thing. Thorpe said it himself: “this thing doesn’t end when I beat you, it ends when I say it ends.”
That grin creeps across Colton Thorpe’s features. The Wildfire Champion shakes his muscles loose as Cayle paces back and forth, ready to go after shaking loose the last of the cobwebs. The Scot takes the centre of the ring, calling Thorpe forward.
Williams: Here we go!
Colt takes one step towards his foe, but the grin turns to a look of exaggerated contemplation. Seconds later, Colton Thorpe shakes his head, wags his finger, and turns to slap Madman Szalinski’s outstretched hand.
The jeers? Instantaneous.
Williams: Oh come on!
Emo: Heh. Certainly not the first time Colt’s played Cayle like a fiddle. Probably won’t be the last, either.
Madman enters the ring, and Cayle rushes him like a dart. The Scot slides beyond the former champion, pulls him round by the shoulder, and fires a couple of forearms at him. On the outside, Eric Dane spits some orders to Bobby Dean, then starts making his way around the ring.
Williams: Looks like the Champ’s heading our way, Doc!
Emo: Guess I’d better make some room.
The Only Star pulls-up a seat and sits the UTA World Championship comfortably on the desk in front of him. As he adjusts his headset, Murray counters Madman’s Irish Whip, and cross bodies him to the mat.
Dane: Try not to look so surprised to see me, Jen.
Emo: Yeah, Jen, show The Champ some respect!
Murray’s up before Madman, but let’s his foe rise on his own accord. Madman charges at Cayle and takes an arm drag, but rolls through, hops, and charges again. A second arm drag keeps Szalinski down, and Cayle ties the arm up. Madman plants his feet and quickly works his way back-up, loosening Cayle with a few elbows to the ribs.
Dane: You see? This is infinitely more entertaining than that dreck we had to sit through before I decided to come out here and fix this match.
Emo: I agree 100%!
Williams: Of course you do.
Finally free, The Most Hated Man in America heads to the ropes, but Cayle recovers his wits and counters with a neckbreaker! He covers…
But Madman gets the early kick-out!
Emo: Come on, you can’t tell me that “sportsmanship” bullcrap was better than this!
As Colton Thorpe stews on the outside, Cayle continues to work on his opponent. He pulls Madman up, puts the front facelock on him, then hoists him high into the air. Madman slips out of the attempted Suplex, however, and throws a couple of elbows into the back of Cayle’s skull. Again, Madman takes to the ropes and connects with a running knee on the return.
Willians: You two do realize that this sport was built on the spirit of competition, right? Not jumping people from behind and beating them up just because you’ve got the numbers advantage!
Dane: Competition is just fine. I just don’t call what those two were doing out here ten minutes ago competition. I call it boring.
Williams: Call it what you will, but what are you gonna do when those guys catch you off by yourself one day?
Stomps keep Cayle down, before Madman grabs the shoulders and pulls Cayle up. Madman throws the knelt Scot’s head between his thighs, but Murray summons every drop of his core strength to grab Madman’s legs, lift, and hit him with a back body drop!
Dane: Probably die of boredom while they tried to find the fairest way to decide who I get to beat up first.
Dane: This is a serious business for serious men, Jennifer, not creampuffs. Cayle Murray, that guy’s a creampuff. And don’t even get me started on Thrill Haynes...
Still feeling the running knee – and the effects of being jumped – Murray rises gingerly. He’s on his feet when Madman sits-up, and fires a stiff kick into his chest, then another, and another. With his opponent dazed, Cayle runs, hits then comes, and nails the seated man with a running, flipping blockbuster! He makes the cover.
Williams: Cayle with a lateral press on the Madman!
NO! Madman rolls his shoulder just enough to escape.
Emo: Not today!
The building’s buzzing, now, and none more-so than Will Haynes. As Cayle rises to his feet – Madman in his clutches – the THRILL’s desperate to get in there, and leans heavily over the top rope.
Dane: Look at that guy, he’s gonna blow a gasket.
The Scot starts taking Szalinski towards his corner and lifts his hand to tag Haynes in, but a desperation shot catches him in the kidneys and sends him to the mat. Keen to prevent the tag, Madman grabs Cayle’s boots and pulls him from the corner.
Emo: Look at that! Smart wrestling by the former champion!
Dane: That’s right. Cutting the ring in half is key in a match like this.
Szalinski looks to take control, but Cayle shakes himself free from his grasp. Madman reverses the Irish whip and sends Cayle flying, but the Scot ducks the clothesline on the rebound. The second rebound, however, isn’t so productive. An elbow catches Murray’s head as he hits the ropes.
An elbow belonging to Colton Thorpe.
Dane: Masterful interference! I couldn’t have taught him better myself.
Williams: He’s breaking the rules! You’re bragging that he’s breaking the rules!
Emo: Rules are made to be broken, woman, besides, did he get disqualified?
Emo: I rest my case.
It’s enough for Madman to seize on the distraction and drill Cayle with a backstabber. Madman backs off a little, giving Cayle just enough time to rise, before whipping him across the ring, and flapjacking him into the mat. Behind Madman, Colton Thorpe applauds the effort, then stretches his hand out.
Dane: Here we go, Colton’s ready to get in there and teach Cayle another lesson!
Madman Szalinski grabs Cayle’s hair with one hand, and slaps Thorpe’s palm with the other. The Pantheon force Cayle into the corner and start stomping at his midsection in unison.
Emo: It’s like deja-vu all over again!
Finally, the referee’s able to split Madman from the action, and the masked man heads back to the apron. Colt, meanwhile, let’s Cayle stumble from the corner on wobbly legs before pulling him round and jabbing his face. Another jab follows, then a left cross, before Thorpe winds-up and unleashes a big discus elbow.
Instead of going for the cover, however, Thorpe pulls Cayle Murray across the ring. He sets his neck across the bottom rope and pushes his foot down behind his head, using the top rope for leverage. The referee calls for a break, and after holding on for a few more seconds, Thorpe finally separates. As the jeers pour down, Thorpe puts his hands to the side and winks at Will Haynes.
Williams: Do your guys even know how to wrestle legally?
Dane: My men know how to work within the confines of the rules so long as it suits them, and they know how to bend and break the rules without getting caught or disqualified when the situation calls for it. Besides, the entire reason for a five count is so you get a free four-second choke on a guy.
Done showboating, Colt pulls Murray to his feet then pushes him back across the ropes. A big, open-hand chop echoes around the building, and Thorpe let’s his adversary stumble out, before driving his face into the canvas with a running bulldog.
Emo: There you go, a perfectly legal combination.
Cayle shakes the grog away, but Thorpe’s too fresh and too in-control. As Murray tries to crawl to Haynes, Thorpe berates him loudly, then rolls him into his back and slaps him hard across the face!
Williams: Followed by a blatant display of disrespect!
By this point, the THRILL can barely contain himself in anticipation of hitting the ring, but Colton Thorpe just won’t give Cayle an opportunity. He stands between the good guys, letting Murray rise to a seated position, then…
No! Cayle ducks beneath the superkick! Thorpe turns around, but Cayle snags his limbs and rolls him down! Small package!
Dane: GET UP DAMMIT!
Kick-out! Thorpe hops to his feet immediately, and stomps furiously away at the Scot.
With Cayle firmly dazed, Thorpe moves across the ring and tags Madman Szalinski back in. Colt does the dirty work, hoisting Cayle up and sitting him back-first on the top rope. As Madman stretches a knee out, Colt yanks Murray forwards, and a Scottish back comes crashing down across the knee! Szalinski covers immediately.
Williams: Cayle is showing his heart out there now!
Dane: I’ll tell you what, if Cayle doesn’t learn who his betters are I’m gonna really show him his heart when I have Madman give him a Blood-Eagle on live pay-per-view.
Williams: That’s disgusting!
Madman starts stalking Cayle Murray, pacing back and forth, waiting for him to rise. Once Cayle’s off the ground, Madman wraps his arms around his waist. Cayle tries to fight through, but he’s absorbed too much damage, and he’s unable to counter the backdrop. On the mat, Madman balls a closed fist and pounds it into the Scot’s forehead.
Emo: Come on Jennifer! Let’s hear you complain some more!
Williams: You’re unbelievable when he’s out here.
The referee, who’s having a busy night, breaks it up. Madman dashes across the ring, comes back, and lands a back senton on Murray. When he sits-up, Madman’s eyes meet with Will’s for a few lingering seconds, before the former UTA Champion hops up and goes back to work.
Dane: Look at Haynes, he’s foaming at the mouth. You know what that means, Doc?
Emo: He’s a mistake waiting to happen?
By now, Madman has positioned Cayle on one of the bottom turnbuckles, and after a long run-up, he flies through the air with a dropkick, hitting Murray like a missile. Madman pulls Cayle from the corner, then hooks the leg.
Emo: Jesus, what’s it gonna take to hold this guy down for three seconds?
Dane: I can think of a few things...
Satisfied with his work, Madman Szalinski rolls Cayle closer to the Pantheon’s corner, then tags Thorpe back-in. Colt, of course, goes to work immediately, trapping Murray’s windpipe with a grounded choke. The ref’s in his face immediately, but Colt doesn’t relent at first: just gets to his feet, holding into the choke, before driving a knee into Cayle’s gut.
Emo: That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout!
A sharp elbow comes down on Cayle’s head before Madman traps it, takes an arm, and hits a swinging neckbreaker. Colt makes the lateral press.
… but pulls Cayle up from the canvas before the two-count. Smiling, laughing, and having a ball, Thorpe continues the isolation game. He pulls one of Cayle’s legs up then stomps down on the knee joint. After repeating the act a couple of times, Thorpe rolls Murray onto his stomach and grabs his hand. Mockingly, Colt paws the hand in Will Haynes’ direction, feigning a tag attempt -- an act that only turns Will’s face redder.
Dane: I can’t wait to see Madman pop that little zit.
Having flashed Haynes a wink, Colt drags Cayle back into the middle, then starts hoisting him up. Once he’s got Cayle vertical, he puts a boot to his gut… but Cayle catches it!
The crowd pops as Cayle’s boot connects with Colt’s skull. Beaten-up and low on stamina, Cayle digs into the rough canvas, desperately clawing his way towards Will Haynes. Behind him, Colt does the same thing.
Williams: The race is on now!
Emo: COME ON THORPE!
Murray leaps and tags in Haynes, Thorpe tags in Madman. The crowd EXPLODES!
Dane: Here we go!
Both men are quick to cover ground and stand toe to toe in the center of the ring, jawing at one another.
Finally Madman has had enough and he connects with a closed fist punch that drives Haynes onto his back foot. Haynes looks shocked as he counters with a punch of his own and right away this breaks down into a straight up fist fight as the crowd roars. The referee steps in between the two of them, forcing them to back up to their respective corners.
Emo: Yeah, Jen, you’re right. This is super boring compared to the hip-lock festival we were treated too earlier.
Williams: Will you please just call the action?
Emo: Pfft. I do what I want.
The men circle, they circle again and here they go fast into the middle. Haynes locks on the side headlock with ease, but Madmen shoves him off into the ropes. Haynes off the ropes but lowers the shoulder and drops the Most Hated Man in America with a shoulder block. Haynes hops over Madman, Madman rolling to avoid the Thrill, Haynes off the far side of the ropes - leaps into the air locking for an Elbow Drop but no one home as Madman rolls to a knee.
Williams: And the pace is quickening now…
Dane: I’m not so sure I’d want to try to match speed with Szalinski...
Haynes quick to a knee as well, Madman charging in. Madman swings with a clothesline, Haynes ducks underneath. Haynes spins Madman quickly, throwing an arm over his head he lifts the Masked Man into the air but Madman kicks his legs, trying to block.
Haynes has to set Madman down and the second he does Madman sends Haynes down to the mat hard with a Snap DDT.
Emo: That’s gonna leave a stain on the mat!
Szalinski floats over for a cover.
Haynes with the shoulder up!
Williams: Remind you of your match with Haynes?
The Only Star shoots laser daggers of death at the female commentator.
Madman pops Haynes to his feet, backing him into the ropes. Haynes sent across - NO - reversal, Madman across. Madman gets scooped and Haynes drops the former UTA Champion soundly over his knee. Madman falls to the mat but not for long. Haynes pulls him to his feet and tosses him into the ropes again. This time he leans down, vaulting Madman over his back and sending him crashing to the mat. The crowd pops.
Williams: What, you can dish it but you can’t take it?
Haynes is quick with the pin.
Colton Thrope delivers a big boot to the back of Haynes. The official is immediately on top of it, sending Thorpe back to the outside. Haynes turns and starts screaming out Thrope, challenging him to step inside the ring. Madman stirs behind the THRILL.
Dane: Just call the match, woman.
The THRILL turns just in time to catch a Madman Spinning Heel Kick right to the face.
NO! Haynes kicks out the last second. Madman can’t believe it. Murray angles himself with his hand extended, just in case.
Emo: It’s getting serious in there now!
Madman backs up and stalks, waiting for Haynes to get to his feet.
Haynes does, Madman runs in swinging, Haynes steps underneath of it and jumps into the air connecting with his Lifting Rolling Cutter.
Williams: He got all of that one! It might have took it all out of himself in the process though!
Both men are down in the center of the ring, and it’s Haynes who recovers first. He groggily rolls over and drapes an arm across Madman’s chest.
No! Colton Thorpe breaks it up!
Williams: Thorpe break-- hey! Wait!
As soon as Thorpe starts stomping in Haynes, Cayle Murray charges into the ring and blasts the Wildfire champion with a flying forearm! Colt goes stumbling back towards the ropes, and when he comes forward…
Emo: Pele Kick! Pele Kick!
Williams: Down goes Thorpe!
Dane: If you two’ll excuse me…
Dane drops his headset, grabs his title belt, and takes his leave of the commentary position.
Williams: Hey! Where’s he going?!
The hyenas swarm. Bobby Dean, the enforcer, takes Cayle out with a big clothesline, and Eric Dane’s UTA Championship knocks Will Haynes’ lights out. The bell rings almost instantaneously as a barrage of Pantheon boots rains down on Murray and Haynes.
Williams: Oh come on now!
Emo: They’re outnumbered, Jen! It’s four-on-two, and there’s nobody left to even the score since Jeff Andrews met his own Pantheon beating just before the match!
Satisfied that he’s done enough damage to Cayle Murray, BBD grabs the rising Colton Thorpe and helps him to his feet.
Williams: They took Andrews out earlier, and now they’re decimating what remains of Cayle and Will’s resistance!
Emo: This is what happens when you piss the big bad wolf off. These men chose to stand against The Pantheon, and now they pay the price!
Thorpe’s recovered enough to add his own boot to the storm, and when Madman’s back on his feet, Dane retreats to a corner and starts calling the shots. At his behest, Bobby scoops Cayle up from the mat and holds him in a full nelson...
Williams: What are they doing?!
… just long enough for Colt to crack Cayle’s jaw with a standing Thorpedo.
Emo: THOOOOORRRRRPPPPPEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDOOOOOO! Does that answer your question, Jen?!
Williams: This is sickening, Doc! How can you endorse it?!
Emo: I don’t endorse it all, Jen -- I just understand why it’s happening. You can’t poke a bear then complain about getting mauled… it’s as simple as that.
With Cayle Murray out of the game, the trio turn their focus on Will Haynes, who may already be out cold. Dean grabs his limp former WTFC buddy and stuffs him between his legs in a standing head-scissors. Dane screams encouragement as Dean whips The Thrill up onto his shoulders.
Williams: Oh my God…
Madman and Thorpe take either side of Bobby, and help him throw Haynes down across Murray’s chest.
Williams: Triple powerbomb onto Cayle Murray! This is just a sickening display at this point!
Emo: It’s Glorious! Eric Dane and The Pantheon are showing their dominance here tonight!
Williams: What they’re doing is acting like a street gang! This isn’t wrestling, it’s ASSAULT!
Finally The World Champion makes his way into the fray and starts putting his own raptor-skin boots to the heads and ribs of the downed heroes. Before long he’s down on one knee screaming into both of their faces alternately. He’s got the title belt with him and he shoves it violently into Haynes’ face. He continues yelling and the ring-mic picks it all up.
Dane: YOU SEE THIS YOU SNIVELING LITTLE SH(redacted)T! YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME? YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME?!
Dane smashes Haynes in the face before jumping over and doing the same with Cayle Murray. It’d be about here where half-empty cups and other trash starts raining down in the ring, thrown by enraged fans.
Dane: YOU CAN’T EVEN WIN THE WILDFIRE TITLE YOU SCHMUCK!
He brings the belt down across Murray’s head. Before it’s all said and done Dane’s $75,000 suit is ruffled and his hair is mussed, spittle flies off of his lips as he continues to berate the downed grapplers.
Dane: You ain’t NOTHIN! Neither of you! And DON’T YOU FORGET IT!
Finally the Champion relents. Bobby Dean pulls him to his feat and the four of them stand over Haynes and Murray as more trash is thrown at them from the crowd.
“Arma-Goddamn-Motherfuckin-Geddon” plays through the loudspeakers as Dane raises his World Title to a chorus of boos. Each man takes a turnbuckle and plays to the hostile crowd as the show goes off the air.
Results compiled and archived with Backstage 3.1.
"“You’re all a bunch of pretty, pretty princesses! Now can we please stop squabbling like hens in the coop and get back to the business at hand?”"
- Eric Dane