The screen is black. An overlay of a Play button sits in front of you as you are used to with every streaming media site you see on the internet. It's now time for the much anticipated, debut episode of Livewire....
As you click the button, the stream loads. The United Toughness Alliance logo comes across the screen in a metallic outline, before it begins to shake. An electronic charge outlines the logo before it begins to break apart.
Finally, the logo explodes and the Livewire logo burst through. It pulsates as if to signify a heart beat before fading out. We are welcomed to an outside shot of downtown Seattle, WA. Busses drive by, people cross streets.
The Space Needle stands tall over the horizon before we fade into a shot of the world famous EMP Museum followed by a trip on the water in one of the tourist filled Duck Tour boats. Finally, we are outside the 42 floor Fourth & Madison building where the UTA host it's offices and new studio. We get a shot of the reception area, welcoming us to the floor.
We get different shots of the office with different superstars in inaudible situations, smiling, laughing, and spending time with the staff of the UTA. These are the people that keep things going. Finally we get a wide shot of the Livewire studio. The camera moves in to sit on Jennifer Williams and 'Rumor Man' Stan Davis, sitting at the Livewire news desk.
Stan: Welcome back everybody to the new, bi-weekly, thirty minute show.. Livewire. I'm Stan Davis, known to you as the Dirt Sheet's Rumor Man Stan. Sitting beside me is the lovely as ever, Jennifer Williams.
Williams: Why thank you Stan, I'm glad to be here.
Stan: Tonight we're going to hear from some of our superstars about their upcoming matches as we head into the Internet Pay Per View in just one week.
Williams: It's exciting times to be apart of the United Toughness Alliance as we continue on to reclaim out spot at the top of professional wrestling world.
Stan: That's right Jennifer. The UTA at one time was the largest promotion in the world, but after years of legal battles following the untimely passing of Eddie Peterson Sr., we once again return to set the professional wrestling world on fire.
Williams: Also on tap we take a look back at the last week in the UTA .
Stan: But first, lets head over to correspondent Jamie Sawyers who is standing by with UTA newcomer Roscoe Shame.
Williams: How exciting Stan!
We head back to where Jamie Sawyers is standing in front of the Livewire backdrop.
Sawyers: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Livewire. I'm Jamie Sawyers, and my guest today is UTA superstar Roscoe Shame!
Roscoe enters the set dressed in a black suit with a white shirt, absent the tie. He limps his way over to Jamie, standing next to him.
Sawyers: Welcome Roscoe to Livewire. Thank you for being one of our guests tonight.
Shame: I should be the one thanking you for letting me on Livewire after I had to cancel the last time.
Jamie nods in appreciation of the apology.
Sawyers: I can only imagine the life you guys have with all the traveling, performing, autograph signings and all the other things you guys have to do to make the UTA a prominent figure in the wrestling industry.
Shame: It is a lot, but that is no excuse to cancel.
Sawyers: Well you are here now, which is all that counts. I’d like to move on and ask you how your ankle is doing. I noticed you were limping coming in.
Roscoe shifts around, wincing as he moves.
Shame: It is starting to get better, but there is still some swelling. The doctor told me to stay off of it for a couple of weeks, so I’m trying to do that as much as possible.
Sawyers: I know that must be hard. You have a big match coming up that you have to prepare for.
Roscoe nods his head in agreement.
Shame: Definitely, but to be honest at this point I can’t do too much. Any weight I put on my ankle it shoots sharp pains through my leg. The next week or so is going to really determine how well I can prepare for my match.
Sawyers: You have a big opportunity at the iPPV so I hope the ankle heals up in time.
Sawyers: Speaking of opportunities, you have been given an opportunity to wrestle again despite some personal issues that you have been going through recently in your life. Do you care to comment?
Roscoe takes a deep breath as he gathers his thoughts. He knew this question was coming, but he has never opened up to anybody about the subject other than his friend Jeremiah.
Shame: First and foremost I would like to thank the UTA brass for even considering bringing me onto their roster, let alone actually signing me as a wrestler. The past couple of years have been a trying time for me as I’ve succumbed to some demons most notably alcohol.
Sawyers: You have recently spent some time in rehab, how has that worked out?
Shame: Only time will tell, but as for right now I feel good, I feel refreshed and rejuvenated. The battle has only just begun but I have the right people in my corner and I have the full support of the UTA so there is no reason why I cannot conquer the aforementioned demons.
Sawyers: I’m sure I speak on behalf of everyone at the UTA, that we hope you rise to the top from your fight and that we all here have your back.
Shame: Thank you Jamie, I really appreciate that.
Jamie shuffles a piece of paper from the stack of notes that he has in front of him.
Sawyers: You have a huge match coming up at the iPPV, easily your biggest match yet of your young career here in UTA; a five man elimination tag match with two title shots on the line. How do you even prepare for a match of this magnitude?
Shame: All conventional preparation goes out the window, Jamie. There will be way too much going on to even try and prepare a proper game plan. This match is going to be one of those times where you just have to go with the flow and pull out all the stops to try and win. This will easily be the best match of the show and the fans are in for a real treat.
Sawyers: Well that is all the time we have for now. I want to thank Roscoe Shame for sitting down with me and giving us a glimpse of himself. Back to you guys in the studio.
We cut back to our correspondents.
We move back to Stan and Jennifer standing by.
Stan: Thank you Jamie.
Williams: Good luck to Roscoe Shame next week. I hope he is a hunderd percent in time for the match.
Stan: Me too Jennifer. Now, on the last Livewire we premiered a very fun segment called Peach's Predictions with Madman Szalinski and his dog Peach.
Williams: Peach is so cute!
Stan: This week Madman and Peach are back with another fun and exciting Peach's Predictions.
Williams: I love these.
A plain block of text appears on-screen, reading “Peach’s Predictions.” When the text disappears, the scene cold cuts to Madman Szalinski, sitting back with his feet propped on a couch.
Madman: HOL-LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...LIVE from my living room...
Throwing up a deuces sign, Madman rubs his blue and silver masked-clad forehead, feigning sweating.
Madman: This always gets me hype for some reason, I don’t know…
Madman sits up, kicking his feet onto the floor to show off his UTA shirt a little better.
Madman: All right, so it’s time for another episode of Peach’s Predictions! Okay...first off...PEACH!
Peach runs into the scene, waddling her way up onto the couch. She wags her tail as Madman scratches her head, Madman speaking to the camera once again.
Madman: If you missed the last run, here’s how it works. Two bones, two opponents. We toss them both out, and Peach brings me back the winner. Sound good?
Madman looks down at his dog.
Madman: All right! Let’s get started, I didn’t drag my coffee table into the kitchen for nothing!
Peach: BARK! BARK!
The placards with names of each participant in the match appear on screen, disappearing after a few moments.
CBR vs. Max Burke
Madman tosses both bones out into his living room floor. With a large amount of space, Peach is free to run around playfully, going back and forth to sniff between each bone.
Madman: Tough choice, huh puppy?
Madman: Can you pick?
Peach finally sits down on her hind parts, falling back with her hind paws in the air.
Madman: Okay, baby girl. You saying it was a draw?
Peach comes back down on her front paws.
Madman: All righty then, puppy! I can’t decide either, I think they’re both awesome myself…but let’s move along!
Esteban Awesome vs. Wülfric
Peach pushes the blue bone around a bit with her nose, then grabs the red one and brings it near the blue one. She sniffs at the blue one again, jumping back.
Peach pushes the blue one to Madman’s feet with her nose, then sits down to chew on the red one.
Madman: Okay, that’s what it is...next one…
Madman grabs the bone from Peach, who stares him down as he prepares the next two.
Roscoe Shame vs. Sean Jackson vs. Log Habben vs. IM Hate vs. Lucius Jones
Madman then stops, looking around for a few seconds with an inquisitive look.
Madman: Wait a minute...I need more bones.
Ariel appears, walking from a hallway to the side of the living room holding a small box.
Ariel: PEACH, BATTLE ROYAL!
Ariel turns the box upside down in front of Madman, spilling out several differently colored chew toys.
Peach: R-r-r-RUFF! BARK!
Peach goes berserk, sliding around on the hardwood floor as she goes for each toy one at a time, dragging them around the room.
Madman: But it's not a battle royal...it's an elimination tag match...
Ariel: Look out!
Peach crashes into a stand, where several VHS tapes and a handful of Super Nintendo cartridges fall.
Peach: BARK! BARK!
Peach slides around some more, then goes for the black furry mouse, jumping onto the couch and dropping it, before jumping back down.
Madman: I see we agree, Peach...who’s runner up? That counts in this match, so if I took this one, who would you pick?
Madman holds up Peach’s first pick, handing it to Ariel (who puts it back in the box.)
Peach waddles over to the orange colored ball, squeaking it in her mouth as she picks it up.
Frank Dylan James vs. Yoshii
Madman: Again, for realism…
Madman pulls out two giant bones, one dyed red and the other blue. Both are easily double the size of Peach.
Peach runs from the living room, going around the coffee table in the kitchen and laying on her belly and hiding under the kitchen table (a second camera showing this. )
Madman: Peach...come on! Frank is...he’s from here! He should smell like home! Well...I think he’s from here, I don’t know...and Yoshii is…
Peach still cowers and shivers under the kitchen table, until Madman comes over to pick her up.
Madman: Fuzzball, you’re okay.
Madman: Exactly. One more match and I think you know what that means.
Peach perks up, wagging her tail while in Madman’s arms.
Madman: Let’s do this.
Madman Szalinski vs. Abdul bin Hussain
Madman: Now, as this is a cage match…
Madman takes a large Maytag box with the top cut off, setting it down with Peach inside. Both the red and blue rawhide bones typically used are thrown in with her.
Madman: Okay, now we just wait...she’ll grab the one she wants and then climb out. Watch.
The camera is set to where Peach cannot be seen inside the box.
Peach: BARK! Ruff….rrr….grr...GRRRRRRRR……
The blue bone is tossed out of the box, halfway across the living room. Peach then runs through the side of the box, blasting through with the red bone in her mouth.
Peach runs off, Madman looking down at the mess of cardboard on the floor.
Madman: That’s right...cages usually have doors...gotta amp my game up!
Madman shakes his head as Ariel walks over, grabbing a piece of the cardboard, smirking, and while hid behind Madman whacks him in the head with the cardboard.
Madman: What the…
Ariel snickers, backing away.
Ariel: It was the insurgents!
Madman: Oh, no you did not...WOMAN!
Madman grabs another section of the torn cardboard box, chasing off after Ariel as the scene fades to black with Peach’s bark in the background.
The camera cuts to the Livewire set where Jamie Sawyers is already standing by. He is flanked on both sides by unknown individuals, but it won't be long before they are introduced. Matter of fact, you get the feeling that their introduction is imminent.
Sawyers: Ladies and gentlemen...
With the apprehension in his voice, you know right away who his guests are. Making the introduction seen a bit anticlimactic.
Sawyers: Sean Jackson and the evil Jezebeth Vanessa
With the intro out of the way, Sean appears into the shot coming from Jamie's left while Vanessa steps in from the right. Sean Jackson as always is dressed for success in a nice suit (thanks UTA) while Vanessa is dressed in a stunning low cut white dress, her jet black hair hanging down her back, just passed her waistline.
Sawyers: Sean, I just wanted to say congratulations on your success during the last two Wrestleshows...
As Jamie is talking, a big grin forms on Sean's face. Yes, he definitely likes how this interview is starting.
Sawyers: Securing victories over the current world champion Abdul bin Hussain, as well as the previous world champion Dr. Emo.
Jackson: Why thanks for the kind words Jamie. But it really shouldn't come as any surprise to anyone. I knew when I arrived here in UTA that I was going to draw individuals like Emo and Hussain, because they were the ones with the most to prove?
This draws a look of confusion from Sawyers.
Sawyers: Wait Sean, how could it be that Emo and Hussain would have the most to prove?
Before Sawyers can say another word, Sean interjects himself.
Jackson: It's simple Jamie. When I walked away from the NeWA with the world title, every wrestling organization in the world started blowing up my phone, wanting to add the true world champion to their rosters. Well, when UTA opened up the bank vault in order to sign me....
Sean moves his hands up and down in front of his suit, hinting that UTA paid him a lot of money, and is now wanting to thrust that into the faces of everyone...
Including the present and former UTA world champions.
Jackson: You just knew that Hussain and Emo were going to get all bu.....
Jamie Sawyers holds his hand up, it's as if he knew exactly what Sean Jackson was about to say and didn't want to upset the censors. Something that Sean picks up on and after a few anxious moments...
Jackson: Were going to have their feelings hurt and would want to prove that they were better than me.
Sawyers: Well Sean, you do have to admit that Hussain and Emo are top notch competitors here and IF Madman Szalinski is able to beat Hussain for the title...
It is here that the evil Jezebeth Vanessa chimes in.
Vanessa: First off Jamie, IF Madman Szalinski defeats Hussain for the world title, then he too will suffer the same fate as everyone else has. For you see Jamie, Sean and I didn't come here to play second fiddle to anyone.
Vanessa blades herself to the camera, showing off her killer curves in that white dress that hugs her ever so right.
Vanessa: We also didn't come here today to talk about Szalinski. Because until he beats Hussain, he is insignificant in our plans and doesn't warrant being mentioned. However, we are here to discuss Sean's opponents for the iPPV #2 in Los Angelas.
Sawyers: Okay, fair enough. Speaking of...
Jamie never gets to finish the sentence as Vanessa turns her head ever so slightly, to where she is staring him right in the face. Remembering what happened the last time she was interrupted at Wrestleshow, Jamie swallows hard and...
Sawyers: My apologies.
Vanessa: Which leads me to start off with you Roscoe Shame. At 6'6 and 265 pounds, you are without a doubt a very formidable opponent. A former high school quarterback who decided to make a living inside of the ring. Well Roscoe, I don't know of too many quarterbacks, if any, who has been able to make the transition from gridiron to the ring. But....
Vanessa looks over to a still smiling Sean Jackson.
Vanessa: I do know of one safety who has been able to make the transition to the ring, and has been quite successful. Isn't that right Sean?
Still smiling, Sean nods his head.
Vanessa: But I don't want you to feel bad about that Roscoe because even though a shot at the world title is out of the equation. At least you get to compete with Log Habben, IM Hate, and Lucius Jones for a shot at the internet title.
That causes Sean Jackson to rest his arm on the shoulder of Jamie Sawyers in a very disrespectful manner. However, in a show of extreme professionalism, Jamie says nothing.
Vanessa: Which pretty much the same can be said for IM Hate.
Now this does cause Sean Jackson to change his demeanor ever so slightly. Hey, who wouldn't like a name like that?
Vanessa: Just like Shame, Hate is also bigger than Sean at At 6'5 and 260 pounds. But just like Shame, no real shot at the UTA world heavyweight title. Which is also what can be said about one of the biggest men in UTA, that being Lucius Jones.
As Sawyers is about to ask a question, Sean quickly cuts him off.
Jackson: Look as far as I'm concerned, the bigger they are, the harder they will fall. Lucius may be 6'8, but his head will crack open just as easily as Hussain and Emo's did. I don't care if I have to perch on the top turnbuckle or on top of the Staples Center itself, once I hit the high knee, your lights will go out no matter who you are.
Sawyers: You sound very confident Mr. Jackson. But even you have to admit that this is a very formidable group with an unknown x factor in Log Habben.
Both Sean and Vanessa shoot him a look.
Jackson: Look Sawyers, if I can mow through the big guys, don't you think that I can take care of some 6'2 215 pound logger from the mountains?
Sean turns his attention back to the camera.
Jackson: Look, just because Jamie Sawyers has a Deliverance moment every time someone mentions Log Habben doesn't mean that I do.
Sawyers: Deliverance moment?
Jackson: Yes Jamie, that need to squeal like a pig when he says you have a purty mouth.
Jackson: Look whatever Sawyers. But as I was saying, I'm not going to have a brokeback moment like Sawyers here everytime Habben is mentioned. Matter of fact, all of these so called super stars here in UTA need to be worried about me, Sean Jackson.
With that Sean Jackson steps off screen, leaving Jamie Sawyers alone with the evil Jezebeth Vanessa. As she turns to face him, Jamie asks a question.
Sawyers: You have anything further to add Vanessa?
Vanessa: Can you feel it, coming in the air tonight?
With that Vanessa also walks off scene, leaving Jamie Sawyers standing alone. The scene then shifts back to Stan Davis and Jennifer Williams.
We get move to an area where there is a ton of merchandise lined up. The camera pans over it with a 1-800 number in tow as Stan Davis' voice goes over the shot.
Stan: The UTA Shop Zone has all of the stuff you need as an UTA fan. From T-Shirts to action figures and more. Order online today for ten percent off or by dialing the one eight hundred number below. Free shipping on all orders over fifty dollars.
As we fade to black, our eyes adjust. A face can be seen in the shadows. Upon that face is wild and untamed hair. A little bit of light allows us to see the stare of the Mastodon of the Mountains himself, Frank Dylan James.
James has a crazed look on his face, with a scary grin that puts the icing on the cake. It almost feels as he is inside of all of our heads with his piercing stare.
James: Yew thought yew were smart, eh boy? Didn't cha? Yea, yew thought yew could get in ol' Frank's head didn't cha Yo-she?
He smiles mischievously.
James: How's Jed doin' Yo-she? How's he doin'?!
FDJ begins to laugh even louder.
James: I told yew boy, ol' FDJ is the savior.. and he saved Jed Dye for yew. Yew bait the trap fer the animal so when it comes into yer sights yew have a clear shot.
Almost in a trance her continues.
James: Yer the animal Yo-she, and Sunday yew will fall....
He backs into the darkness and we fade away.
We return to the studio.
Stan: Another Livewire coming to a close.
Williams: Thirty minutes just doesn't seem long enough.
Stan: Well, time is up though as we have an exciting week ahead of us and then a giant pay per view. Will a new champion be crowned as Madman Szalinski challenges Abdul bin Hussain in a steel cage?
Williams: I can't tell you, but it is going to be a long week.
Stan: It sure is. But until then, I am Stan Davis.
Williams: ...and I am Jennifer Williams.
Stan: Thank you for tuning in, we'll see you in two weeks here on Livewire!
The screen fades to black and the copyright comes up before the stream ends.
Results compiled and archived with Backstage 3.1.
"[E-fedding is] a hobby so nerdy, that 90% of the UTA viewing audience is too illiterate to even participate!"
- Robot Pete