The screen is black. An overlay of a Play button sits in front of you as you are used to with every streaming media site you see on the internet. It's now time for the much anticipated, next episode of Livewire....
As you click the button, the stream loads. The United Toughness Alliance logo comes across the screen in a metallic outline, before it begins to shake. An electronic charge outlines the logo before it begins to break apart.
Finally, the logo explodes and the Livewire logo burst through. It pulsates as if to signify a heart beat before fading out. We are welcomed to an outside shot of downtown Seattle, WA. Busses drive by, people cross streets.
The Space Needle stands tall over the horizon before we fade into a shot of the world famous EMP Museum followed by a trip on the water in one of the tourist filled Duck Tour boats. Finally, we are outside the 42 floor Fourth & Madison building where the UTA host it's offices and new studio. We get a shot of the reception area, welcoming us to the floor.
We get different shots of the office with different superstars in inaudible situations, smiling, laughing, and spending time with the staff of the UTA. These are the people that keep things going. Finally we get a wide shot of the Livewire studio. The camera moves in to sit on Jennifer Williams and 'Rumor Man' Stan Davis, sitting at the Livewire news desk.
Stan: Welcome back everybody to the new, bi-weekly, thirty minute show.. Livewire. I'm Stan Davis, known to you as the Dirt Sheet's Rumor Man Stan. Sitting beside me is the lovely as ever, Jennifer Williams.
Williams: Why thank you Stan, I'm glad to be here.
Stan: Tonight we're going to hear from some of our superstars about their upcoming matches as we head into the next exciting edition of Wrestleshow.
Williams: It's exciting times to be apart of the United Toughness Alliance as we continue on to reclaim out spot at the top of professional wrestling world.
Stan: That's right Jennifer. The UTA at one time was the largest promotion in the world, but after years of legal battles following the untimely passing of Eddie Peterson Sr., we once again return to set the professional wrestling world on fire.
Stan: But for now Jennifer... You recently had a chance to speak with up and coming UTA superstar La Flama Blanca after a recent match he had against CBR.
Williams: That's right Stan, and he had a lot to say.
Stan: Lets roll that footage now.
Minutes after his match that ended when time expired La Flama Blanca comes through the curtain into the backstage area. He shows signs of the lengthy and grueling match he just went through. The war between Claude Baptiste Ranier and La Flama Blanca ended without a winner.
He holds his left shoulder as he walks back towards the locker room. Jennifer Williams and a camera crew meet La Flama Blanca near the locker room door.
We fade into a shot of Dick Fury in an empty ring. It is obviously a small venue as the seats are close. The camera zooms in on him.
Fury: Do you like Dick?
A giant YES zooms in and hits the screen before going away.
Fury: Do you want to tell the world how much you enjoy Dick?
Another YES swoops in from the side of screen and continues as it heads out the other side.
Fury: Then put Dick on your chest! That's right. For the low price of twenty nine ninety five you too can join the millions who have already put Dick on their chest and purchase of the two new Dick Fury t-shirts!
We get a shot of the shirts.
Fury: In both mens, and womens, from size zero to XXXL for those big and beautiful bitches who love Dick on their chest... the new officially licensed Dick Fury t-shirts.
A number comes across the screen.
Fury: So put Dick on your chest and call 1-800-GiveMeD today! Kids... don't bother asking your parents.. you too can get Dick on your chest! Just call and charge it to your parent's phone bill!
We switch to a busty blonde woman wearing a Dick Fury shirt.
Woman: I love Dick!
She jumps up and down before we go to a very good looking man, also wearing a Dick Fury shirt.
Man: I really... REALLY.. like Dick.
We head back to Fury.
Fury: So if you like Dick, like these two like Dick.. get your own Dick Fury shirt today as supplies are limited!
A small print warning comes up. It goes back very quick, but we can only assume it says that kids should not call and charge shirts to their parent's phone bills.
We return to the studio with Stan and Jennifer.
Stan: That Dick Fury, what a character.
Williams: I dunno. I kind of this he's cute.
Stan: Well folks, if you want to get a new Dick Fury shirt, or maybe a copy of UTA: The Music volumn two, be sure to visit the Sop Zone right here on WrestleUTA.com.
Wlliams: There's so much awesome stuff in the Shop Zone with new items coming all the time!
Stan: Switching gears now, I'm being told that Jamie Sawyers is standing by backstage.
Williams: I can't wait to see who he's with!
The camera focuses on Jamie Sawyers who is standing in a backstage area, the Wrestle UTA logo in the background. The look on his face tells the entire story as he definitely would want to be anyplace other than where he is right now.
A voice comes from off screen...
Voice: You can introduce me now.
Sawyers: Ladies and gentlemen, still your UTA Champion...
Jamie looks off to the side, the same direction from which the voice came.
Sawyers: Sean Jackson.
At that moment, Sean Jackson enters the picture with the UTA world heavyweight championship draped over his shoulder. He's wearing slacks and a dress shirt while Vanessa also steps into the shot wearing a skin tight white dress that stops between her waist and knees. If she has to sit, she's in trouble.
Jackson: Why thanks there Jamie. You clearly said that with the enthusiasm of an old fart trying to pass a gall stone.
Jamie rolls his eyes.
Jackson: Or with the style of Madman Szalinski trying to referee a freaking world title match.
Sawyers: Come on now...
Jackson: What? You mean you can do an introduction of the UTA champion better than you just did?
Jamie goes to say something, but is cut off.
Jackson: Oh, wait. I'm quite sure you would have done a better job had the UTA champion been Abdul bin Hussain...right?
Sawyers: Now wait a minute Sean.
Jackson: What? I've heard you introduce Abdul bin Hussain in the past as the UTA Champion and it never sounded as piss poor as the way you just introduced me.
Sawyers: Look Sean, if that's how you took it, then I'm legitimately sorry. But you approached me to do this and....
Jackson: So it's like that now isn't it?
Sawyers is confused.
Jackson: You're going to put me on blast, in front of the entire wrestling world aren't you?
Sean shrugs. Hey it's getting to the point where it's almost expected now. It's not like we're talking about Madman Szalinski or Dr. Emo.
Jackson: Okay, not a problem. Yes, yes I did approach you in order to get a few things off of my chest, so what? I've been listening to the internet chatter, the tweets on twitter about how I didn't beat Abdul bin Hussain. Well, nothing can be further from the truth.
Sean looks off screen and motions with his hand.
Jackson: Hey, come over here for a moment.
He then turns his attention back to Jamie Sawyers.
Jackson: Because I did beat Abdul, just like I did when I first arrived in Wrestle UTA. But not only did I beat Abdul, I did it while having to deal with a bigger pot smoking burn out than you could EVER be.
Jamie Sawyers takes offense, but doesn't get the chance to get a word in.
Jackson: That being a jackass by the name of Madman Szalinski. I mean, where does Mr. Wingate or anyone else get off thinking that a moron like Szalinski could ever referee anything other than a puff, puff, pass relay?
Sawyers: Well Sean, the man was ill. Give him a....
Jackson: A what? another joint? Forget that Sawyers. I'm not going to give Szalinski anything. He should have stepped out and let someone else referee the match, but no, he decided to let his own ego get in the way of my championship match. I mean, do you know how hard it is to wrestle a damn world title match with someone hurling all over you?
Jamie Sawyers shakes his head no.
Sawyers: Well actually, I don't kn....
About that time, someone who resembles a homeless guy walks up and stands next to Sawyers. His head snaps back and he immediately holds his nose.
Sawyers: What in the hell?
Jackson: Go ahead Sawyers, keep going with the interview.
Sawyers: (still holding his nose) Oh man, this guy stinks.
Jackson: Having problems there Sawyers?
Jamie wants to leave, but is stopped by Sean Jackson. Fortunately for the Mental Rapist, he has vicks salve under his nostrils, blocking the smell.
Jackson: Oh no there Sawyers, you're going to finish this interview. You're going to stand there and get a brief example of what my match was like....
Sawyers: Come on Sean, this guy stinks.
Sean Jackson looks at the homeless guy and smiles.
Jackson: There's a solid $50 in your future if you can turn this into a projectile promo.
Looking on in horror, Jamie Sawyers turns and faces the homeless guy just in time to see projectile vomit heading his way. As the homeless guy throws up on Jamie's slacks and shoes, Sean and Vanessa walk away, leaving Jamie trying to hold it together.
Sawyers: Oh man, I....
Not being able to hold it any longer, Jamie Sawyers throws up on the floor, thus causing the homeless guy to throw up. Not realizing what's happening, one of the ring workers is walking by and he too, begins to throw up.
Seeing the projectile vomiting, the camera man begins to throw up, followed by the homeless guy, followed by Jamie Sawyers again, as well as the ring worker, etc. etc.
With all the vomiting, you can barely hear Sean Jackson with one final parting shot.
Jackson: Now you know how I felt dumb ass.
As we return to the studio, borh Jennifer and Stan look ill.
Williams: That is so gross.
Stan: I don't even know what to say.
Williams: I think.. I think I'm going to...
Jennifer gets to her feet and runs off the set. Stan Davis looks off in her direction, shaking his head, before turning back to the camera.
Stan: Well, that's all the time we have this week. Join us in two weeks right here on WrestleUTA.com for Livewire!
Results compiled and archived with Backstage 3.1.
"Oh he's fine. Just questioning his grip on reality. You should be doing the same any time now."