Title: Know Your Audience, yeah?!
Featuring: Kendrix
Date: 17th September 2015
Location: Coliseum De Puerto Rico (Lobby)
Show: Wrestleshow #45

The scene opens up inside the lobby area of the Coliseum De Puerto Rico, the very arena where the UTA's stars will be competing in the next episode of Wrestleshow. There is no show on at all this evening, the arena is empty, silent. The camera pans slowly across the room revealing pictures and sports memorabilia of monumental moments that have taken place in one of the greatest sports arenas in the world. However, the golden silence we hear is shortly broken up by an all too familiar cocky noise;

"Here you go maaattteee!!"

Finally coming into view we see Kendrix, dressed casually in a tight fitting Dynasty t-shirt, jeans, timberland boots and a cap with #bruv splashed across the front of it. He places two Puerto Rican dollars into the top pocket of one of the Coliseum's janitors, a middle aged and balding individual by the name of Jorge. Patting Jorge's pocket down ensuring his money doesn't fall out, Kendrix pulls the janitor's clip-on name tag toward him slightly;

Kendrix: Give us two minutes...Georgie...and we'll be out of your hair, innit bruv!

Tapping Jorge on the top of his head, Kendrix grits his teeth, surprisingly in slight embarrassment at possibly having put his foot in it somewhat, as Jorge looks back at him in discomfort while lifting his hand to protect what little hair he has left on his head;

Kendrix: Oh, JFK means...uh...get out of here Georgie...and don't spend that money all at once now, yeah?!

As Jorge walks out of shot, pulling his cleaning trolley with him, he politely holds two fingers up at Kendrix;

Jorge: Dos, si?

Kendrix smirks back at him holding two fingers up (less politely) in Jose's direction.

Kendrix: Si, Georgie si...DOS!

Turning to face the camera, he rolls his eyes letting out a gentle sigh

Kendrix: Bloody Dosser...

Pausing momentarily a huge grin comes across his face at his latest witty quip. Stroking his beard his demeanor becomes focused. His arms are held out wide in presentable fashion and ready to address his point;

Kendrix: Listen yeah?! The future of the industry is currently standing in the middle of one of the most famous arenas in the world today. The Coliseum De Puerto Rico. And for those of you bellends out there that don't understand Spanish, that means The Coliseum of Puerto Rico!

He raises his eyebrows and nods along to his educational comment;

Kendrix: Now, the reason JFK is here is because he has a match at Wrestleshow 45 in this very arena, against none other than SABRINA her name right this time innit?! 

He taps the side of his head twice with his index finger;

Kendrix: And as you should all know by now, JFK is a perfectionist.

Stopping abruptly he squints his eyes as he leans in closer to the camera. Pulling it towards him he starts to flick a few strands of his hair, which fall underneath his cap, into place using the reflection of the lens as his guide. Checking out both profiles of his face he lets go of the camera and leans back out, smirking and pleased with the ever so slight adjustments he has made

Kendrix: Perfect! And since JFK is a perfectionist, he leaves no stone unturned when it comes to preparing for his opponents. He checks them out inside...and outside of the ring, he checks the ring itself. But to be honest, JFK knows little about Puerto Rico's UTA fans and the atmosphere he can expect from them.

Tilting his head ever so slightly and piercing his lips together, a rarely seen modest look appears across his face;

Kendrix: Now, JFK already knows what to expect from those muppets back in the US of A. And that's only part of the reason why he's propelled himself up the UTA ladder and joined the greatest group in the history of this industry.

He flicks the palms of his hands out towards the camera, highlighting his obvious point just made before pointing his index finger vertically and nodding it in the direction of the lens;

Kendrix: But since this is JFK's first time performing in Puerto Rico he thought he'd try and get inside the mentality of the Puerto Rican people.

Gesturing for the cameraman to follow him, Kendrix walks off a couple of yards to his left stopping by a bust encased in glass. As the cameraman centres his shot, Kendrix is looking down proudly with his arms crossed at the bust. Looking back up at the camera with his trademark smirk across his face, he continues;

Kendrix: Now, most of you mugs will probably be thinking, "oh, why's that handsome devil standing next to that ugly looking bust for?"

He says this with a truly terrible attempt at a red neck American accent;

Kendrix: Well you morons, it's because this is the bust of one of Puerto Rico's most beloved men ever to have lived. His name is...Joe Say Me Girl Agrowlot...innit?

(Translated for narrative purposes as; Jose Miguel Agrelot...innit?!)

Kendrix: This man was a Puerto Rican legend. A comedian, who created many different characters and imitated some world renowned stars, providing the people here with years and years of entertainment.

Stroking his beard and looking back down at the bust in apparent awe he continues;

Kendrix: Shortly before he died, this very arena was completed and they named it after him.

Holding his hands up together in front of his head and moving them apart out wide he simultaneously speaks;

Kendrix: The Joe Say Me Girl Agrowlot Coliseum De Puerto Rico.

Bringing his arms back down and crossing them on his chest he winks at the camera;

Kendrix: Real original that..

Taking his cap off though, as a mark of respect, he bends down and gestures for the cameraman to zoom into the commemorative plaque at the base of the bust;

Kendrix: Take a look at that bruv, JFK will read it out, cos let's face it, most of the people who will watch this are illiterate...

As the cameraman centres his shot on the plaque Kendrix reads it out;

Kendrix: "I feel satisfied and fulfilled with my life. I thank God for letting me reach all that I have accomplished. When I see how blessed I have been, born within my heart, there's an immense desire to fuse myself with space, pass the night in a star and travel to infinity"

Kendrix begins to let out what seems like fake coughing accompanied by what sounds like spoken coughs;

Kendrix: Hlame, ha, hlame...huh, JFK must have got something caught in his throat there.

Clearing his throat one last time he continues to read from the plaque;

Kendrix: "There, in front of the Creator and on my knees, I wish to give thanks for letting me live and be a part of this marvelous sanctuary they call... Puerto Rico".

The camera zooms out and focuses back on his subject who is now standing up beside the bust. Kendrix stares down at it nodding. Looking back at the camera he holds his hand across his heart in apparent admiration of what he has just read out;

Kendrix: This man was an inspiration to this country. And just from reading this quote from this man, JFK has learned all he needs to know...

Nodding his head he looks back at the bust and leans his arm on the glass before looking back at the camera, pointing in its direction;

Kendrix: That these are the words of a man who was so desperate to appease his people and gain their respect...that he settled for what he "achieved" in life.

He uses his fingers as inverted commas to sarcastically accompany the word 'achieved'.

Kendrix: If you take a radio show and some shitty TV show where imitation is your idea of comedy, then JFK has got news for ya bruv...imitation is the lowest form of comedy. FACT!

Bending back down he clasps both hands to the side of the glass protecting the bust;


Turning his head and still holding onto the glass he lets out a brief dismissive chuckle and focuses intently on the camera in front of him;

Kendrix: And ultimately, that is exactly what you will be on Monday, Sabrina. A failure. Not because of your skill, your desire or hunger. Oh no. It's because you crave everyone's admiration, their respect. The reason you lose is because your loss streak haunts's driving you mad!

He rolls his index finger by the side of his head;

Kendrix: YOU...put unnecessary pressure on yourself to appease the people. 

He extends his right arm out, pointing;

Kendrix: THEY...are indeed the reason why JFK has been the success he is to date. Because he ignores them! Everything he does is in SPITE...of them. They make you settle for less. They are your weakness.

Bringing his arm in and resting it on his right leg he takes another look back at the bust;

Kendrix: JFK is not gonna settle just because he's joined the greatest group in the world. JFK is in Dynasty to create his legacy. He sees men like LFB, the greatest UTA champion of AALLLLLL TIIIIIMMMEEEE! Men like Mikey Unlikely, the GREATEST...entertainer there is on the face of the planet...

He looks back out at the camera, nodding his head with a proud smile on his face;

Kendrix: Men like Claude Baptiste Ranier...the longest reigning champion that the UTA has ever had. The very man who held the Internet title for two hundred and thirty seven days. Claude created a PROUD AND RESPECTED...legacy. The company had no choice but to call the belt what it is today after the feats that this great man achieved.

Holding his hand across his heart he looks up towards the ceiling;

Kendrix: JFK looks up to these champions, his brothers...and surrounds himself with them, not as you say Sabrina, to interfere and help him out in his matches. If you'd actually done your homework on JFK you will see that he hasn't needed help from anyone in conquering the legends he's already beaten to date.

Shaking his head and wagging his index finger at the camera, he finishes off his point;

Kendrix: No, JFK surrounds himself with these great men simply to watch, learn and create HIS OWN...proud and respected legacy.

Taking a moment to visualise his undoubted glorious future ahead of him he looks back at the camera, removing his hand from his heart and begins to wave his arms around;

Kendrix: So during our match Sabrina, wave your arms in the air, cheer along with the muppets sat in the stands, do whatever it is you feel you need to do in order to get them out of their seats and cheer for you. 

Putting his cap back on he composes himself;

Kendrix: Sean Jackson has clearly been listening to the Ungratefuls and he's basically signed off his death warrant having turned his back on Dynasty. Look how well the fans are working for Hopper. That man was an animal when he didn't care about them. Now that he does, he's become a boring joke...hell, the man cares about what they think so much that he can't bring himself to hurt a woman.

Momentarily shaking his head in disgust at his last thought he looks back at the camera with a sick smile;

Kendrix: JFK is in no doubt you will get your win here in the UTA one day. But Sabrina, come Monday Night at Wrestleshow 45, don't worry your pretty little head. Because JFK PROMISES...that not only will he be leaving you in that ring hurt, battered and bruised...he will make sure that no man or, in this case WOMAN...stands in JFK's way in creating his legacy.

The camera follows him as he stands up from his squatted position. Stroking his beard twice he nods his head, eyes intently fixed on the camera;

Kendrix: The future has spoken...his legacy has just begun.

Walking off he leaves one last look at the bust shaking his head and laughing as he walks away out of shot. Simultaneously the camera centres on the bust as the camera fades to black.


More Promos | View Kendrix's Biography