"It's an insult".
It's cloudy in Dublin, not a piece of blue sky in sight; but then, that's one of the things this place is famous for. The UTA, having crossed the globe and entertained millions, finds itself in God's country, the Emerald Isle, for this the 47th episode of Wrestleshow. And Ireland is one of those places; not so famed for its history, but for its culture - a good fight and a pint; fitting then, that we open in an old Pub.
"A damn insult. After making history, they give me...this."
The smell of spilt Lager fills the room, wooden fixtures and barrels adorning the wall, more out of decor than necessity. Beer mats are stained with alcohol, a bright television plays replays of old Republic of Ireland games as the punters celebrate the country's recent success in making it to the European Championship play-offs.
"Last Wrestleshow, CBR retired the best of Defiance from the UTA; The Canadian Star beat a tangible legend of the business for the third...THIRD...time; and Claude Baptiste Ranier defeated the future of the industry. In one...damn...night!"
Sitting in a dimly lit corner, nursing a half finished pint of Guinness, sits the Canadian Star. The camera turns to his side, showing him wearing a shirt - a football shirt - an Irish football shirt. Northern...
CBR: What is it about this place?
Claude scoffs as he circles his fingers around the glass. Perhaps he knows just how much danger he's in and simply doesn't care; or maybe he is simply ignorant. Either way, wearing that shirt in this place is suicide. But then, CBR was never one for convention.
CBR: I can't wait to leave.
An angry glance from an elderly man who notices the shirt under Ranier's Barber jacket, the rest of the pub not noticing in the shadow. He taps the dark wood with his fingernails.
CBR: Cold, grey, miserable fucking Ireland. A soulless island of drunks. How in the hell did these people colonise Hell's Kitchen? Why do all you Americans love to declare yourself from their lineage? Pathetic, weak and inconsequential. This place could sink into the sea tomorrow and no one would give a damn.
Rainer runs his hand over his cheek, wiping a raindrop from his skin - the drizzle was more annoying than anything.
CBR: Kendrix, my friend, it was a pleasure to face you. You are everything that's right with this business, a role model for new superstars. The future, technically brilliant...it was a shame Hopper ruined our clinic. I have no doubt you will follow in my footsteps and destroy him at International Affair.
The grin returns, resuming his gentle tapping of the wood. The old man is consorting with friends, pointing at CBR who glances across apathetically, then back at the camera.
CBR: And I will take back my property. A date with that pathetic excuse for a wrestler John Sektor, a man who hasn't been challenged. The last remnants of the group that was supposed to end Dynasty...really? The group that ends in November.
Claude lifts the pint and takes a long drink of the black liquid, placing it down.
CBR: And for all that, for making history and being the first man confirmed at the pay per view, this is how UTA rewards me? With a match against Cletus and poor man's Cletus...
Ranier shakes his head slowly, lifting a beer mat in his fingers and twisting it idly as a small group begins to form at a pool table.
CBR: Boys, welcome to the UTA. Welcome to the show, the big leagues. How you got through the doors I have no idea, but it goes to show how pathetic Cecilworth is. At least you'll make more impact than the Machine.
He turns the corner of his lip up at the obvious dig.
CBR: On Monday night, CBR teams with Kendrix. It's an honour my brother to stand beside you as we welcome a new pair of ungratefuls to this company, symbols of everything that's WRONG with this business. Dibbins'...I hope you pay attention, you will never ever again get the chance to step into the ring with The God of Kings and the Future.
Claude grinds his foot on the wood below, looking off in the direction of the group that organises itself. Claude opens his jacket a little more to provide a further affront to the Irish men fuming.
CBR: In truth I'm not looking forward to the match, it's a waste of my time. Cecilworth, Wingate - CBR is a main event draw and you're feeding me peasants. Pay me my cheque, put me back on the plane and end this fiasco.
He shakes his head, readying himself and sitting up straight.
CBR: Two giants of this business against the very representation of the system we sought to destroy one year ago - the system that honoured jokes, comedy and painted this sport as entertainment over competition. On Monday we paint the ring red with your mistake. Have your sideshows on Victory where they belong - this is Wrestleshow and we are Dynasty.
One man approaches the table.
Man: Y'aright pal? Me mate tells me yer wearing that bastard shirt. D'ye want te step outside for a moment friend?
Fists clench as Claude smiles looking up and nods.
CBR: I'm sorry, "friend", I speak English. Could you repeat your...
In a moment the man has his shirt, lifting Ranier to his feet. He smirks, brushing the man's forearms and hands away.
CBR: That's more like it. Speaking of overweight talentless drunks, practice...
"Look at this! LOOK AT THIS! What the heck am I supposed to wear now? I've washed, and washed, and washed these damn things until I ran out of quarters and your Chance Von Cumstains won't come out!"
- Shawn FX