Title: Dont Believe Whats On TV
Featuring: Mikey Unlikely
Date: 11/11/2015
Location: Toyko Port
Show: International Affair 2015

The blast of the air horn wakes me up. I open my eyes and see the back of Mary Jane’s head. Somehow the bitch slept right through that. I look over at the clock and see that that it's 7:10am local time. This International tour, and the time differences are fucked!

I don't know if my body will ever get used to this. Every week we are traveling further into the future. From Brazil, to Egypt, To Australia, to Japan. Back home it's about 6pm yesterday and here I am waking up, in the land of the rising sun.

I sit up in bed and press my hands to my eyes. Both trying to adjust to the light, streaming in through the window as well as clear my eyes. Walking over to window, I see we are indeed pulling up to port. We’re finally here... The final stop.

Tokyo, Japan.

A place synonymous with professional wrestling. A place that takes this sport incredibly serious. THE place i’ve always wanted to wrestle in. Now is my opportunity. The biggest opportunity yet!

The Tokyo Dome: Japan’s equivalent to Madison Square Garden. The largest Puroresu venue in all the country. Although our finished product greatly differs from what the Japanese are used to, the foundations are the same. Two men enter, one man walks out.

I stretch in the light of the sun, It's in the low 60’s right now, not bad for seven in the morning. Walking out of the room, making sure not to wake M.J., I close the door softly. I need some me time.

My bare feet slap the floor with each step, my silk pajamas slide across my skin with every glide, so pricey, so worth it. Walking into the kitchen area of the “World’s Greatest Yacht...In The World” The coffee is already made and ready. I pour myself a mug, and add sugar and cream.

I like my coffee, like my women. Sweet, creamy, and hot! A quick smile crosses my lips as I think of the metaphor.

The air horn once again blares, as we pass by another ship heading out towards open waters. I open the door to the deck, and make my way outside. The smell of salt water smacks me in the face. I bring the warm coffee to my face and inhale as it replaces the unsavory scent.

I sit down in a long chair, and stretch my legs out. It's going to be a nice day, you can already tell. As the shore comes ever closer I can't help but think of the journey that got me here. No not the planes, and yachts, and cars. I mean my journey through the UTA.

From young, hot upstart, to hated villain. How the hell did that happen? You see, it's funny how quickly the people turn on you. My goals have never changed, my outlook on life never changed. In fact the only thing that changed was, Mikey putting Mikey first.

The people got mad when I took care of something in my life that needed taken care of. I took out the garbage… so to speak.

I take a long sip of my coffee, careful not to sip too much and burn myself. It feels so good with the cool wind against my skin and the scalding drink in my mouth.

When I got the UTA, in September of last year, I was already a star. Already had the gossip magazines following me, people berating me who had never met me, a little bit of money, so that didn’t change.

Then I joined up with some friends I had met. Bobby Dean and his cast of merry men. two thirds of the egg bandits, and Will the Thrill Haynes.

The stage was set for four good guys, to head into 2015 and set the wrong things right in the UTA. The only problem was, one of us wasn’t a good guy!

Will Haynes

We started out mellow, just trying to bring the fun back into wrestling. To not just fight for ourselves and our paycheck, but to entertain the world!

Here I am...about a year since WTFC formed...doing the same thing!

I realize I’m unknowingly shaking my head as I think about it.

While people like Will Haynes, turned on us! These people, these announcers, these quote unquote fans….They think they know everything. They think they see all of our lives unfolding and everything we are happens in our own 20 minute time slots every monday.

They don’t understand REALITY!

When the cameras stop rolling, when the production truck leaves, when the show is on hold, life goes on. We live and breath, eat and sleep, walk and talk just like the rest of the world, but they don’t take that into account do they?

Taking a sip of coffee, I close my eyes, I really enjoy my mornings alone.

So when the people cry out from the stands, or when I’m walking the dog, or when I'm grocery shopping, that I turned my back on Will Haynes, that I cheated WTFC, that I am the reason this has happened…

My face twists into a frown.
I cannot even begin to tell them the truth, because they only see what they want to see on TV.

Do you think Arnold is a robot?
Do you think that Daniel Craig is a spy?
Do you think that Anthony Hopkins eats people?


Then why with wrestling? We’ve been in front of the television for far too long as a people. We believe everything we hear, and accept no alternatives.

How could I ever explain the truth and make them believe it? The short answer is, I can’t.

All I can do is go out there in this match, and beat down Will Haynes like he deserves. Beat down the REAL MONSTER in the UTA. A man who has no control, a man who cannot hold back. A man who is an ever present danger in a locker room full of legitimate athletes.

I have done enough yelling, I have done enough explaining. Now it's time to do what I should have done, long before WTFC was formed. Long before I realized there was a ticking time bomb sitting amongst us. Long before the world finds out on their own. I have to shut down Will Haynes before he drags the rest of us down with him.

And drag down everyone he will.

You see the truth is this. Every day after the show went off the air, we had to keep our eyes on Haynes. It started small, He would end up in a small scuffle here, or a tussle there for no reason. We thought… “Ah, he’s young, he's got some cash, he’s just having a little fun!” then it happened more often and more often.

He started fighting with wrestlers from outside of the UTA. Making unnecessary comments, and prodding them for no reason. He could never let lying dogs lie. He always had to have the last word, always the last action, always causing trouble. Going after recently retired stars, trying to make a name for himself with the social media antics…

How Immature!

That's not what we were about, that's what Will Haynes was about. He went against the grain of WTFC, but when the lights came on, the dude was a major player. We all could see his potential, we could all see he had the ability. Too bad his temper never let cooler heads prevail enough for him to ever realize that potential.

To me, Will Haynes is lucky! Lucky he had the benefit of 4 other guys having his back when his mouth wrote checks that he couldn’t cash. When he started wars, WE had to finish. But the fans didn't see that. Because Will Haynes didn't ask them to see that. These people are so dumb you literally have to tell them what's going on.

I roll my neck, my body finally starting to wake up, the tingle in my spine from the warm coffee has worked its way into my head. The caffeine kicks in.

So when BOBBY DEAN broke up WTFC… We were all set loose. We were set onto our own paths. The problem was, I was forever tied to the antics of the Thrillmaker. The man who not only entertained but put extra stress into each and every one of our lives. The man who believed in the morals of WTFC, but never followed them.

A man only worried about himself.

So what’s wrong with me doing the same? That's all it took, and the fans suddenly hate Mikey and love Will. I don’t get it! I tried so hard to be the fun, cool guy, everyone could get along with. I tried to be the peacemaker, but here i go and pick the FIRST FIGHT of my life and suddenly I’m the villain.

Oooh well. He will come out and say I turned my back on him by joining Dynasty and the fans will eat it up. In reality I was turning my back on putting others before myself. Dynasty offered me a chance to do what I wanted when I helped found the WTFC.

They were the brothers I always wanted, and the friends I thought I had previously were all… weak. These men are for the good of the group!  We are truly united now! We have a plan, a purpose, and a way! It gave me the opportunity to align with individuals who shared the same goals as I had.


And I’ll be damned if I haven't achieved just that. When I was teaming with Haynes, I was relegated to 6 man tags, and battle royales on the pay per views. Here I am in my first pay per view alone, and basically headlining!

I acted in a major hollywood blockbuster, and have been cast in two more! I’ve made as much money as I made in my entire lifetime, once again in the past year alone. I’ve climbed to the top of the UTA Landscape and cemented myself as a true competitor. AND I DID IT ALONE!

I finish off the coffee that's started to lose its heat and I stand up walking to the railing.

4 more days. 4 days until I expose Haynes as the fraud he is. 4 days until I embarrass him so badly you will be forced to retire. 4 Days left in his wrestling career. Then what about Haynes? What are the people going to do when no one cares about his twitter feed? What is he going to do when people stop buying into the “Madman vs Haynes” bullshit they’ve been spoon feeding us?

No one will want to see two has beens, they will be asking for more Mikey. These people don't understand that I’m doing this for them. They don’t understand I’m still the same man I was 8 months ago, albeit with a larger pocketbook.

They don’t know what kind of virus Will Haynes is. They don’t see the destruction he leaves behind. Ask Bobby Dean why he turned on WTFC? Ask him why he felt safer with bullies, then riding with Will Haynes? Why don’t people ask me why I “turned” on Will Haynes? They only care that I did.

Sometimes the hero is simply a villain who has everyone fooled…
Sometimes the villain is fighting for good…
Sometimes you have to be both.

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