Title: Klaatu Barada Nikto
Featuring: Yeshua Pandemonium
Date: 18/11/15
Location: Anywhere
Show: Proving Grounds ep.7

A voice from what seems to be the heavens opens up the darkness.
“Your freedom comes on the backs of others that have suffered for it. Do you recognise this or do you arrogantly go about your days without a feeling in that shell of yours? Be it on the backs of the Natives of your country that you murdered to near extinction as they are so different from you or is it the kidnap victims that were stolen from their homes and families to be slaves to your ways. Their lives meaning nothing for you as they are not of the same skin colour as you. Then you think that the whole world should forget about this if you wipe it under the carpet and deflect it out into their domain.”
A large American Flag flutters majestically through the window of the room. A television sits in the corner shows the viewers all sorts of American iconic sites; Children playing in the streets, baseball games, parades through the streets, troops in the Middle East. Those images dissolve into footage of various terrorist attacks from around the world including 9-11 until; finally, the Iraqi flag with two scimitars underneath filled the screen.
Laughing comes from behind the camcorder recording this iconic scene. The figure holding the camera pans it around the room.
Two figures stomps into the centre of the room; one is dressed in combat fatigues and has his face covered with an Arabic headscarves and the other, a woman is dressed head to toe in a burqa. The man stands in front of the other. He swings his head from side to side, his glare from behind the headscarf drilling into the viewers watching from their living rooms.
 He looks at the table and sees something. He grabs hold of it and holds it out before him examining it. It is a model of the Eiffel Tower. He puts it back on the table.
Slowly he turns and looks down the camera lens with a smirk and knocks the Tower model over.
The picture pulls back. We see the UTA Superstar Yeshua Pandemonium sat on a chair in the corner deep in thought. A television in the corner is playing the footage from former UTA Superstar Abdul bin Hussain.
The noise is so loud that it causes the televisions speakers to crackle with distortion. Yeshua flicks the mute button and silences it.
He turns around and notices his midget associate Dobbie who for some reason is dressed up as the Statue of Liberty.
“What does this guy think he is doing?” Yeshua asked. “Cheap heat like that doesn’t work does it? Or does it? After what happened in Paris this past week there is always someone that wants to take it one step too far.”
Dobbie nods as he posed with the torch.
“But what gets me pissed off are those goddamn American’s who have jumped all over it as if they’ve been the ones that these dastardly terrorists have been attacking," Yeshua said; "How pathetically obvious of them.”
“Yes, boss,” Dobbie said. “They are hurtful. When America gets done with them damn terrorists, they're gonna think King Kong came down from Skull Mountain and raped them a new fucking asshole!”
"Patriotism taken too far is fanaticism Dobbie,” Yeshua said. “No matter who you are or where you're from, foreigners aren't your enemy son. I'm an immigrant. I have seen it first hand. People like me who were looked down on called filthy foreigners discriminated against. Is that the xenophobic America you want Dobbie?”
He looks at his associate.
“All religions, all nationalities,” Yeshua said. “We all want the same thing, to see our children grow strong, to provide safety for our families, and to live in quiet times. Peace Dobbie, is that why we came to this country? To fight for a peaceful world?"
“But ISIS need beating for what they did,” Dobbie said. “9-11 had everything to do with this.”
“9-11?” Yeshua said. “All these years later, thanks a heap, Osama bin Laden. With a small number of supporters, $400,000-$500,000, and 19 suicidal hijackers, most of them Saudis, you pulled off a geopolitical magic trick of the first order. Think of it as wizardry from the theatre of darkness. In the process, you did “change everything” or at least enough of everything to matter.”
He smirks.
“Or rather, he goaded the US of A into doing what he had neither the resources nor the ability to do. So let’s give credit where it’s due. Psychologically speaking, the 9/11 attacks represented precision targeting of a kind American leaders would only dream of in the years to follow.”
Dobbie looks confused.
“I have no idea how,” Yeshua said. “But he clearly understood America so much better than they understood him or, for that matter, ourselves. He knew just which buttons of the American people to push so that America would essentially carry out the rest of his plan for him. While he sat back and waited in Abbottabad, America followed the blueprints for his dreams and desires as if they had planned it and, in the process, made the world a significantly different and significantly grimmer place.”
“Okay,” Dobbie said. “But what can we do about it?”
“Nothing my slightly eccentric friend,” Yeshua said. “But it angers me when people throw their patriotism around as if they can save the world. But to get back on subject the owners of the UTA have tried to break me down. Each and every show booking me against someone that they wanted to put over.”
He shook his head.
“I am not some glorified jobber,” Yeshua said. “I will not just compete to put over these so-called UTA Superstars. I am Yeshua Pandemonium not Chance Von Crank. This guy has been set on the path that leads him on the path to collide with me.”
Dobbie claps his hands.
“I need to get out of my own head,” Yeshua said. “I wouldn’t want some moron getting the jump on me once again and this Crank seems to be an A Class moron Dobbie. He runs his mouth and hides behind a million different monikers but at the end of the day he isn’t Yeshua.”
“No one can be you,” Dobbie stated. “Even if we travelled to a parallel universe there would only be you, no others.”
“You are one weird little shit nugget,” Yeshua said. “This Proving Grounds thing is a bit insulting to be honest. I should be on the pay per view not some piss poor b-show but it could be worse, I could be booked to wrestle on Wrestle-Show. I can and will show those pathetic meat sacks that book these shows what a real wrestler should be like. This Crank punk thinks because he’s been a part of this promotion for a while and thinks he can take me out?”
“He’s just some pathetic Weiner bro!” Dobbie stated.
“Okay…..” Yeshua said. “After this Proving Ground show they will be talking about one person and one person only…….YESHUA PANDEMONIUM!”

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