It starts with a black screen, nothing is happening until it flickers to life, a full picture beginning to take shape. As it does, the United Center in Chicago comes into view and as the camera pans in, Mr. Ace In The Hole is decked out in a custom fit William Fioravanti Bespoke suit and tie while standing behind a podium. It is covered with microphones and banners representing Wrestle UTA as well as several wrestling magazines and the city of Chicago. Standing to his right is Attorney Marshall Owens and wife Pamela Duke-Jackson.
There is a chill in the air which causes their breath to cloud around them. As the Dallas native steps closer to the podium, he clears his throat before speaking.
Jackson: "My fellow Americans..."
The start is rather generic, different from what everyone expected, but generic none the less. As he looks out on the crowd, the camera pans in the same direction, revealing what could only be a roll call of a future casting for oompa loompas in another Willy Wonka knock off.
Jackson: "I stand here today with a giant task in front of me."
As the camera pans back to the Dallas native, his arms stretch out towards the group he considers short-Americans.
Jackson: "Hoping you trust my vision for the future, your future, without lies and deception from one of your own."
There are gasps from the crowd of short-Americans making up the audience. It is a direct dig at El Trebol Jr. and Mr. Ace In The Hole could care less, even though he frowns in view of everyone, he couldn't be happier.
Jackson: "We must be mindful of the greatest threat to ever come our way. A threat greater than climate change..."
As everyone else looks on bewildered, the Mental Rapist motions for their attention to shift to the weather going on around them. The clouds of little breaths filling the air.
Jackson: "A threat greater than radical Islam."
Those representing the UTA, the various wrestling magazines and the city of Chicago look on in total confusion. However, murmurs begin among the short-Americans showing concern for this threat.
Jackson: "A threat so great, it must be stopped before Donald Trump can call for its ban. Before he can call for a registry to track...."
The Dallas native points towards his target audience.
Jackson: "Each and every one of you."
The murmurs become gasps. The short-Americans are almost worked into a frenzy before the calming voice of the Mental Rapist eases the situation.
Jackson: "But not to fear my fellow Americans, for I have taken the necessary steps to eliminate that threat. I have taken an oath, a solemn vow to end this dark cloud hovering over you..."
He is no longer pointing, instead choosing to extend his arms outward for his fellow Americans.
Jackson: "Put in place by the evil vision of one man, a faithless person who would put his own personal needs and wants ahead of your own. A man who would cheapen the accomplishments of former NBA star Muggsy Bouges..."
A chant erupts from the short-Americans, those who portray the Dallas native as their savior. Of course money never hurts to sway non-working actors and poor people into doing the right thing.
Jackson: "Or actor Gary Coleman..."
Sean places his hands on either side of the podium, in total command of his audience. As he looks out towards the execs from UTA, they are unable to hide their agitation.
Jackson: "Both true short-Americans who have remained faithful to the idea that hard work and dedication is what makes America great."
He then picks up a picture of El Trebol Jr. from the podium and holds it up for all to see.
Jackson: "They understood the crisis that was fought daily, against individuals who would weaken the collective resolve of you good people..."
Marshall nods his head as Pamela looks on, the gaze directed towards her husband.
Jackson: "Bringing about your decline, completely erasing two hundred years of purpose over conflict and discord. However, on this day I can proclaim an end to the false promises given to you by El Trebol Jr."
Mr. Ace In The Hole places the picture down on the podium, only momentarily taking his eyes from the audience. After sneaking a peek towards his wife, he winks before turning his attention back to his paid listeners.
The paid short-Americans continue to brave the cold, hanging on his every word due to the money they have coming to them. Even in Chicago, it was capitalism at it's finest. Whether they agreed with the message or not, money talked when it came to not being able to pay the bills, or take care of family.
Jackson: "I remain steadfast in my dedication to right his wrong, to show the world that short-Americans such as yourselves can stand on their own two feet. That their enduring spirit can be measured by finding ways to reach that top shelf, to grasp that six-pack of beer without expecting it to be handed to them."
That camera pans out to the audience where the majority of short-Americans are clapping, while others are shouting their paid for encouragement through cupped hands. It is a circus and the Dallas native is the ring leader.
Jackson: "In reaffirming my belief in your true capabilities, let your greatness guide my path to prove that short-cuts are not the way to go. That accepting hand outs are for the faint-hearted and not the risk-takers who would find the ladder for that six-pack of beer. To celebrate the accomplishment of reaching for the prize and grasping it with their own little fingers."
It was bedlam, border-line overkill. Sean Jackson must have paid out serious money for the applause and screams of approval he was receiving. In this case, it was all about the Benjamins as the Mental Rapist finally discovered he could buy his way to whatever he wanted.
Jackson: "Some of the greatest short-Americans in history crafted their trade by toiling in their labor, making it possible for the El Trebol's of the world to live in a world free from obscurity. But it is those same people who refuse to live up to those lofty expectations. Who refuse to believe hard work and dedication translates into successful ambition. Take for instance the lead up to his last match..."
Bitter disappointment covers the face of the Mental Rapist. Even though he found himself greatly impressed with the Luchador's moveset, it was by all accounts generic and expected. The fact Chance von Crank didn't see it coming was his own problem, but Sean had to play it off, to show the newcomer as he was, a villain.
Jackson: "Instead of showing his strengths to the Trailer Park Prodigy, he portrayed weakness. Instead of going the way of Mr. Bouges, tackling the problem head on by driving to the rim..."
Yeah, Mr. Ace In The Hole using a basketball reference.
Jackson: "Mr. Trebol decides to cheapen your struggle by reaching for something unobtainable. He chose to make you all the butt of his joke, just to win a wrestling match."
The Dallas native turns his attention to his Seasons Beatings opponent.
Jackson: "That's right, I said it. Instead of showing your fellow short-Americans that it was time to pick themselves up, to dust themselves off, you played the circus clown at the expense of everyone here. It was a joke to you, a way to get a grown man to lower his guard, just to get a win."
tsk, tsk, tsk.
He fights the urge to crack that million dollar smile.
Jackson: "Well, it stops here in Chicago. At Seasons Beatings, I give these people their dignity back. I show them to be courageous and not cynical, to say yes I can reach that six-pack of bud light on the bottom shelf, and no to showing myself as a laughing-stock by reaching for something on top. It was a bad move on your part, a bad move indeed. But since when do you care about making your fellow short-Americans look bad?"
Mr. Ace In The Hole steps to the side of the podium, showing off his tailor-made suit. After doing a complete 360 turn, he steps back behind the podium while Marshall and Pamela do their best golf claps.
Jackson: "You will probably show up at some knock off clothing store, looking for clothes that don't fit? Degrading yourself and others by parading around in little boy's outfits, in hopes I too, lower my guard."
Again, he shakes his head.
Jackson: "Don't do that Trebol, because I am too smart for your childish behavior. How about making dad happy by being a man and approaching this fight head on? So what if you lose, at least you will lose with dignity and not at the expense of these good people. I bet that is what dear ole dad would have done."
The camera zooms in to a closeup on Sean's face.
Jackson: "Isn't that what he deserves, a son to be proud of? Isn't it what these people deserve, to have a hero take up the good fight in their historical struggle? Well at Seasons Beatings, in the arena behind me, a truly defining moment will take place because your dad and these people will receive better. As your dad looks down from heaven, I will show him something to be proud of, that I can be the hero who shows all short-America that hard work and dedication defines their place in this world, not deception and lies."
It was deception on Sean's part, but it was for a good cause. Trebol didn't know he was doing wrong, he didn't know he was leading his fellow short-Americans down a destructive path, so the Dallas native had to stop him. Yes he paid the crowd to be there, he paid them to cheer, but it was to stop a travesty and that made it alright.
Jackson: "So let us mark the day, December twenty-first when a true danger to our way of life is shown the error of his ways."
Mr. Ace In The Hole then raises both arms high in the air.
Jackson: "Making it possible for you to once again, declare independence from lies and deceptions. Thank you."
As the crowd erupts into cheers, The Dallas native continues to waive with both hands as he backs away from the podium. Once his back his turned, a smile begins to creep across his face.
Jackson: "Your dad would have wanted it that way."
"As for me… Thanks to a stellar marketing team, whom I pay very very well, people demand Mikey Unlikely each and every week. The signs in the crowd, the shirts on the people, the shout outs on my the anticipation for my movie!"
- Mikey Unlikely