The distant muffled sounds of moaning and bed squeaks fill the morning air. The inside of Duke Dibbins head vibrates as he turns over in his bed. Last nights drunk is yet to wear off. Duke slides up into a seated position. Both hands against his eyes as they adjust to the morning light.
He kicks his legs out from under his blankets, and that's when we can tell he is not wearing any pants. just stained pair of tighty whities and a wifebeater,
Duke reaches to the floor and picks up a can of beer. The beer must have been open all night, it was the only one sitting upright on can covered carpet. He takes a long swig, filling his mouth before he swallows it with a loud “ahhh”
Duke stands and stumble into the wall. He reaches for the doorknob a few times before finall grasping it. He enters his bathroom and closes the door. Duke is obviously urinating, and its taking forever!
He comes out towards the living room of the trailer as the sounds get louder. Now loud manly grunts can be heard as well. Duke thinks to himself.
How the hell am I gon win da Herdcore Em Up Titles, and Lukey still getsta sleep with Sister/Cousin? I am da chimp now! I should be da one getting ma weiner greased! But nah, here I am, drunk as fuck looking for cheerios!
He shakes his head and pulls down a box of the generic brand cereal. He reaches into a peeling wood panel cupboard and pulls out a yellow bowl.
Dammed If I aint doin all da work lately. Lukey got his eyes on da poonie tang and ol Dukey got his eye on da prize!
Duke reaches ontop of the refridgerator and pulls down his Hardcore title. He straps it around his waste. What a sight. A drunk Duke Dibbins in his underwear, wearing a UTA Championship.
Dibbin pours the cereal into a bowl, and goes to the fridge. He cracks open a fresh can of Natural Light beer. He takes a swig of the refreshingly cold beer, and then pours it on top of his breakfast.
Breakfist of Champons!
The sex in the other room has become unbearable.
Duke: Shut the hell up! Trying to enjoy some peace and Flyit!
no answer comes from beyond the closed door. Dibbins flips on the shitty TV in the center of his living room. He turns the volume up to drown out ‘extra curricular” activities.
That's when he see’s it. A commercial for next week's Victory. The ad begins displaying all the matches, finally Duke see’s a familiar face… his own!
TV Announcer: Also on the card you will see the BRAND NEW WORLD CHAMPION Sean Jackson take on BOTH of the Dibbins Bros in a Handicap match!
Duke jumps up from the table surprised. He looks both directions, all this excitement and he doesn't know what to do..
Ya know! If I pin da World Earth Champion, then maybe Sister/Cousin will want some of ol Dukey! Dats what I need to do! Show er who da real Dibbins is!
He rushes over to the door that the loud noise was originating from, he begins pounding loudly like an officer of the law would do.
Duke: Holy hell Lukey! We got anudder match! Its gon be me and you versus Sean THE JAMAIXAN INSPIRAXION Jackson! For the World Turtle! AN FOR SOME REASON… DEY TINKS WE HANDICRAPPED!? YA GOTA BE KITIN ME! GET YUR YELLOW BELLY OUT HERE AND LETS GET READY!
The scene fades as a “Yeaaaaa Haw!” comes from the other side of the door.
"I am a failure. I am a failure if judged by the black and white of wins and losses."