Title: Buffalo's and A caveman
Featuring: Xander Hayes
Date: 1/20/2016
Location: Some mobile home
Show: Victory XLVI

The camera fades up and we see Xander dressed in a green one-piece suit, the kind for green screens as his hair matches the color of the suit as he turns and act’s surprised as he waves a bit and snickers. Xander then sheepishly looks around as he nods and wanders around what appears to be a mobile home interior. Xander then spins around as he starts to giggle like a school girl.

X: Welcome, welcome, sorry I didn’t clean the place up, but you know how it is, living the life of some random fandom hahaha. Now the last time you all saw me I beat Dan and continued my surprising winning streak in the UTA. As we all know it’s a shock to all of us here, hell I’m mystified at this strange occurrence.  Now I’ve come back for a match against one Amy Harrison.

X ponders that for a moment as he starts to laugh and giggle like a fool as he spins around and stops.

X: Woah dizzy…

X shakes his head a bit and clears it a bit as he looks around wildly.

X: Amy Harrison, I really don’t know much about you, and well nor do I care. You are like a gnat in the world of insects heh, while I am the royal water buffalo heh. I could say I’m a part of the He-Man woman haters club but I don’t think you’d get the reference. I really don’t think you’ll get any of my references today, but hey that’s ok.

Xander starts to laugh as he walks thru the mobile home and makes his way thru a hallway that has a bunch of moths pined to the wall as Xander pets a few of the dead insects and stops in the living room area as he bends over and pulls up a throw rug, we see a giant hole dug into the ground and at the bottom of the pit as the camera pans over we see a life size cut out of Amy Harrison in the middle and a small poodle running around the cut out yapping. X snickers a bit.

X: So Amy I’ve watched your latest spot and man you are a goof if I’ve ever seen one. You know Amy, it seems you are always coming out trying to get people to stop taking you for granted.

He shakes his head a bit and snickers.

X: Sure you come from a wrestling family, sure you’ve paid some of the dues to get where you are at and yet. You still get pushed to the side like some slab of meat. While I can relate with you. I can say this with authority that I’m the joke of the UTA. I’ve been the running gag here and most of my other places I’ve been. Now Amy don’t get me wrong, you are a decent wrestler here but let’s face the facts...

He starts to giggle as he looks over in the pit and we see Fluffy in the bottom on a table with a sign that reads help me. I’m being held hostage.

X: Fluffy you deserve this punishment. He idea you had last time was an utter joke. I mean I’m not clean cut guy, and I sure as hell don’t dress up. So stay down there and deal with it.

He then walks away and comes back with a bucket tied to a rope and starts to lower it down the pit. He starts laughing as he stops it next to the cut out.

X: It puts the bacon grease on its skin or it gets the hose again. Hehehe.

X starts to laugh as he drops the bucket of bacon grease into the pit as the poodle starts to lick up the greasy mess. X then turns as he walks behind a wall and we hear some grunting and groaning

X: Do you think I’m beautiful? I know I’m beautiful hehe.

X then comes out from behind the wall ass he is now dressed in an orange and black loin cloth. With a Royal Water Buffalo hat on and makes a quick motion as he snickers.

X: So Amy, you think you deserve the respect from being a part of a wrestling family? You think you’ve earned a shot at any title? Ha don’t make me laugh. You are like most the idiots here in the UTA, you complain when you don’t get what you want. Now you get to face sweet little old me. X Hayestone, heh, but let’s not dwell on that.

Now Amy, I don’t care who you are, where you are from, hell you could be the queen of Zimbabwe, it doesn’t matter. Hell these fans it won’t matter unless you show them something more than being a

complete idiot. But that’s not you it well, Hehe that’s me.

Xander pulls out a dinosaur puppet and starts to pet it as he continues.

X: Yea I know; we have to do the dishes... But, Look I have something important to talk about. Look I know but... fine.

X walks over to the sink and pulls out a hose connected to the faucet and places it within the dino’s mouth and starts to spray the dishes. He starts spraying everywhere along the counter, in the sink and on the floor.

X: Now Amy the point I’m trying to make here is quite simple. You are not who you think you are; the achievements do not define you. And the so called belts are just leather and faux gold. You are just a bag in the wind, dancing here and there and everywhere, you are nothing until the hot air wisps you along. I don’t mean to let the wind out from under you Amy but... Well you know. I think you are smart enough to understand and well if you can’t boo hooo hehehe.

X looks at the mess he’s created and snickers as he takes off the puppet and dunks it into the water and starts to make muffled sounds as if the puppet is drowning as he starts to laugh and pulls the dino out and looks at it.

X: Pterosaur you are now dead to me; alas poor dino I knew you well hehehe. Out with the trash and onto bigger things.

He snickers and walks to the front door of the home after shutting off the water and looks out as a car that looks like an old Fred Flintstone running car as he smiles.

X: Amy don’t worry about a thing. If you haven’t guessed yet it’s now time to turn your crank and choose your fate and see where your headed. You are another stop on this thing we call life and you are in my way to getting my beloved manager back. If you can handle the way things will go, you’ll do just fine. If you fight it, you can always pull the emergence lever. Hehe. Enjoy the time while you have it Amy, cause it’s time to make the insanity grow hahahahahahaha.

He then waves to the camera and walks out the door and starts to sing the Flintstones theme song as the camera fades to black.

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